speak low, when you speak love
"ONE DAY I'M GONNA LOSE THE WAR."
No sleep, stop sleeping, stop eating, stop breathing.
I am so sick of drifting through life doing nothing. I am so sick of never writing. I'm so sick of being scared to voice anything. I am so sick of life.
Sleep deprivation makes me more inspired to do things. It makes my actions speak. It makes my words more clear. I can't deal with mediocrity and if staying up til four AM drinking and listening to music makes me feel less mediocre then god damn, i'm gonna fucking do it.
Anything to grasp onto the last bits of craziness I have left.
The craziness that isn't depression and anxiety.
The craziness that makes me not give a fuck, makes me do what I want, makes me put people who put me down in their place.
Holding onto manic behavior is not always the best idea but it's the only thing that makes me connected to who I am.
I'm in the lowest of lows. I'm at the breaking point. And all there is to do is break it more. Smash it.
Push it to the end and then when everyone abandons me, start over. Move away. Stop talking, then start talking again.
Stop living then start living again.
Always a cycle. I always live in cycles.
There have been worse cycles.
"No one's ever going to treat you right.
While you're attracting the wrong kind.
In the end, you're always left with nothing but anger and lord knows that it hurts when coming to terms with the lessons you're learning.
Harsh as it seems, maybe love means being naive."
No sleep, stop sleeping, stop eating, stop breathing.
I am so sick of drifting through life doing nothing. I am so sick of never writing. I'm so sick of being scared to voice anything. I am so sick of life.
Sleep deprivation makes me more inspired to do things. It makes my actions speak. It makes my words more clear. I can't deal with mediocrity and if staying up til four AM drinking and listening to music makes me feel less mediocre then god damn, i'm gonna fucking do it.
Anything to grasp onto the last bits of craziness I have left.
The craziness that isn't depression and anxiety.
The craziness that makes me not give a fuck, makes me do what I want, makes me put people who put me down in their place.
Holding onto manic behavior is not always the best idea but it's the only thing that makes me connected to who I am.
I'm in the lowest of lows. I'm at the breaking point. And all there is to do is break it more. Smash it.
Push it to the end and then when everyone abandons me, start over. Move away. Stop talking, then start talking again.
Stop living then start living again.
Always a cycle. I always live in cycles.
There have been worse cycles.
"No one's ever going to treat you right.
While you're attracting the wrong kind.
In the end, you're always left with nothing but anger and lord knows that it hurts when coming to terms with the lessons you're learning.
Harsh as it seems, maybe love means being naive."