I'm burnt, and I'm gone, and I don't know what I'm on. It shits. It shits. Okay?
Hey, I'm posting a new entry! Must be important.
No one has developed time-travel technology. It's 2000 fucking 9; you'd think somebody would have at least started on it. But since no one has advanced that field, I gotta make up for the terrible shit I did to people in this journal in the past. Not always done exclusively in this journal, but the evidence of it is definitely around here.
First off: Bill.
We met because of Anna-Lena. Me, an attention-starved, morally-confused teenage girl. You, a socially-awkward, quiet, well-intentioned teenage dude. I liked talking to you because I felt like I was one of the only people in your world that mattered (remember, this is an apology entry). You commented on my LJ all the time, making the stupid bullshit I talked about seem to matter. But you were, to me, what a lot of people I surrounded myself with were too scared to be. Honest. And even when we met up at Comicon and you bought me that little stuffed cat from Sailor Moon, I knew you weren't doing it to try to get in my pants. You were always a really good friend, but I ignored you a lot of the time because I got too distracted with being in love with millions of dudes. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. You know, for being a dick.
Next: Anna-Lena.
I felt like your protege freshman year. You're the one who introduced me to Alex, The Warhol, and I'm pretty sure my first bus ride. You were so fucking badass and cool. I was so jealous. Anyway, the reason I'm apologizing is because there's this old entry with some AIM conversation we had, and you told me I should quit flirting with every guy ever. And I said some stupid shit back, like "judge not lest ye be judged". You have to understand, at that point, I was in love with everything; boys, myself, etc. I pulled that bullshit where I convinced myself you were just jealous and that flirting with everything ever was fine. Not until like two years ago did I finally realize that being a flirt and getting people to like (or pretend to like) you doesn't necessarily mean that you're a good person. So I'm sorry I was an ass towards you. You were always a cool person, and (as Bill did), you were blunt and honest with me. I hated it then, but I really appreciate it now.
Next up: Jackie Walker.
Jackie, Jackie, Jackie. I don't understand why we never became better friends than we are. But for whatever reason, we didn't, and I feel like it's mostly my fault. It was never because I didn't like you or anything, but I was just too lazy to even hang out with you when the opportunity arose. I think a big part of it was the fact that you weren't a dude. Suffice it to say, I was obsessed with boys and being liked or noticed by them. But I wish we would have hung out, like even once, really. Just because we always got along really well. But for some reason we were just school friends. I dunno, it probably happened for a reason. Or DIDN'T happen. I dunno, whatever. I'm sorry I was a douche.
Alex.
Sorry our entire relationship was put on display in this thing. Must have been fun for other people to watch the daily drama unravel on the pages of this dumb journal. My bad.
Micah.
I don't have enough time to apologize to you here, but you know exactly what I have to be sorry about. Blindly obsessed with dudes and their attention, I totally ignored you whenever I randomly felt like it. You're a really good friend, and I feel like shit for treating you poorly.
I think that's all for now.
P.S. I'm not drunk or high or depressed or anything right now. I was just reading old entries and felt the need to apologize to people. Sorry.
No one has developed time-travel technology. It's 2000 fucking 9; you'd think somebody would have at least started on it. But since no one has advanced that field, I gotta make up for the terrible shit I did to people in this journal in the past. Not always done exclusively in this journal, but the evidence of it is definitely around here.
First off: Bill.
We met because of Anna-Lena. Me, an attention-starved, morally-confused teenage girl. You, a socially-awkward, quiet, well-intentioned teenage dude. I liked talking to you because I felt like I was one of the only people in your world that mattered (remember, this is an apology entry). You commented on my LJ all the time, making the stupid bullshit I talked about seem to matter. But you were, to me, what a lot of people I surrounded myself with were too scared to be. Honest. And even when we met up at Comicon and you bought me that little stuffed cat from Sailor Moon, I knew you weren't doing it to try to get in my pants. You were always a really good friend, but I ignored you a lot of the time because I got too distracted with being in love with millions of dudes. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. You know, for being a dick.
Next: Anna-Lena.
I felt like your protege freshman year. You're the one who introduced me to Alex, The Warhol, and I'm pretty sure my first bus ride. You were so fucking badass and cool. I was so jealous. Anyway, the reason I'm apologizing is because there's this old entry with some AIM conversation we had, and you told me I should quit flirting with every guy ever. And I said some stupid shit back, like "judge not lest ye be judged". You have to understand, at that point, I was in love with everything; boys, myself, etc. I pulled that bullshit where I convinced myself you were just jealous and that flirting with everything ever was fine. Not until like two years ago did I finally realize that being a flirt and getting people to like (or pretend to like) you doesn't necessarily mean that you're a good person. So I'm sorry I was an ass towards you. You were always a cool person, and (as Bill did), you were blunt and honest with me. I hated it then, but I really appreciate it now.
Next up: Jackie Walker.
Jackie, Jackie, Jackie. I don't understand why we never became better friends than we are. But for whatever reason, we didn't, and I feel like it's mostly my fault. It was never because I didn't like you or anything, but I was just too lazy to even hang out with you when the opportunity arose. I think a big part of it was the fact that you weren't a dude. Suffice it to say, I was obsessed with boys and being liked or noticed by them. But I wish we would have hung out, like even once, really. Just because we always got along really well. But for some reason we were just school friends. I dunno, it probably happened for a reason. Or DIDN'T happen. I dunno, whatever. I'm sorry I was a douche.
Alex.
Sorry our entire relationship was put on display in this thing. Must have been fun for other people to watch the daily drama unravel on the pages of this dumb journal. My bad.
Micah.
I don't have enough time to apologize to you here, but you know exactly what I have to be sorry about. Blindly obsessed with dudes and their attention, I totally ignored you whenever I randomly felt like it. You're a really good friend, and I feel like shit for treating you poorly.
I think that's all for now.
P.S. I'm not drunk or high or depressed or anything right now. I was just reading old entries and felt the need to apologize to people. Sorry.