So then what?
You're not happy with your lot in life, but not willing to change it, or work with what you have. You don't believe in God, so you don't believe that God will help you. You refuse that option, you refuse to believe in God's love, in that path walked. You're empty without God, but you don't see it, you don't understand what you're missing. So who do you believe will change it all? Who do you expect it from in the end? The others around you. You leech off of their good-will and happiness and general kindness. Or sometimes you leech off of making them upset, and hurting them and their sad feelings, in order to make yourself feel better. What a sad existence. I pity you.