life

[englishfucker]

I really need like two weeks to get my life together..

I can't look at the surface of things anymore. I just keep looking for value in everything I do.

example:

I skipped school today because I didn't do the homework for a class and valued the credit I would get for the homework above going to school

explanation:

All school seems good for is giving me credit so I can go to college and college only matters so I can get a job and have money for life.
So as long as I get credit for my classes then why should I put any effort into school?

It's just like I can't enjoy little pointless things anymore because they don't mean anything to me.

possible solution:

I need to make big changes in my life to make myself have to readjust (even if it's just a little bit).
Maybe im just bored of everything right now.

I'm going to completely clean out my room and repaint and reorganize everything and just take a step back.

Exception:

The only thing I really hold value to right now is rugby.

I don't care about going to shows anymore, I don't care about new bands, I don't care about school, don't care about:

my clothes
photography
making movies
my appearance
impressing people
peoples feelings
friends?

Good news is I'm feeling productive and I want to get my life to have meaning again.

ps: won both our games in rugby on Saturday, me an luke Kicked ass :]

home game this saturday against Oakland Military Institution
                                                                   ^ ouch?