MK Ultra (Chapter Seven/?)
The following day started much like the previous; Dominic woke alone to a scribbled note on the bedside table. He stretched his arms above his head, revelling in the satisfying feeling of his back popping. The note was almost exactly the same as the other; the only change was Matthew’s instruction to cook something, as he would be home for lunch. Dominic rubbed his eyes with fisted hands, deciding that, as he was cooking, he should get up. He heaved himself out of bed, shivering slightly in the cool air and hurriedly threw some clothes on. He padded through the flat, breathing the smell in. It smelt sweet and crisp, and was not unlike the scent of Matthew. Dominic pushed the door to the kitchen open, shutting it behind him. He leant against the counter and sighed, thinking. One of Dominic’s more negative character traits was that he tended to ignore people's faults until they came to his attention and he could not ignore them. Even if Dominic had known the person for a long time, their faults, the things that were not always negative - they were, after all, what made you you - would still surprise, annoy or harm him.
He was determined not to fall into that trap with Matthew. He knew the man's problems, and was determined not to let himself fall into that trap; however, he could see Matthew's good side. It would shine through, odd sparkles of diamond through the rough, dirty surface. If Dominic could grind the rough into smooth, wipe the dirt away, find that sparkle and polish the stone, would it be safe to allow himself to ignore Matthew's faults then? Dominic sighed, resting his chin on his interwoven fingers. His eyes wandered over the kitchen, slowing to a crawl as he spied a thick book, propped in between two cookbooks; it was thick, with a black leather bound spine. The blonde straightened, eyes fixated on the book. His arm raised, index finger extended as if to touch the smooth black spine, although he was a good distance away. He caressed the book with his eyes, grey stroking black. He stepped forward until the tip of his finger was a millimetre from the book. He took a deep breath, transfixed, and leant forward to touch his finger to the leather. He screwed his eyes shut, reopening them again instantly, feeling stupid. What did he expect to happen, for the book to disappear in a puff of smoke? He released a breath he didn't even know he was holding and extended his other fingers from their slightly curled position to wrap around the book, stilling and listening for any noise before pulling the book from its position. He placed it quietly on the kitchen counter and paused, halfway through opening the cover.
Should I really be doing this? Dominic thought. It's his property, his private things... should I?
He's seen your private things, a voice whispered. Your body, your thoughts, your feelings...
The thought vanished just as soon as it had shown itself, leaving the seed of doubt firmly planted in Dominic's mind. The blonde replaced the book, resolving to ask Matthew about it. It would be easier than discussing what he had planned.
Get him drunk and you've got it.
Dominic shrugged, sighing deeply and turning. His mind went blank as he saw the scene outside the window. He squealed and raced to the window childishly, hands flattening against the cold glass and breath fogging his view. The sight was a familiar one from his childhood and, foolishly, he allowed his memories to flood over him.
The two children ran outside, one golden blonde head and one chocolate brown breaking the barren but beautiful white landscape. 'Be careful!' their mother shouted at them from the doorway. The children's father smiled, kissing his wife's cheek.
'You worry too much, Gee. We will be, I promise.'
It was a perfect family scene: two children, happily playing in the snow, wrapped up in coats, gloves and scarves, waiting for their father to follow them into the garden so they could commence their planned snowball fight; parents standing in the door of their house, talking in quiet voices and watching over their children with content smiles on their faces, love in their eyes; a picturesque white landscape of untouched snow, save from the children's small footprints, sitting heavily on tree branches and small flakes still falling from the sky.
‘Dad!’
The older of the two children - the brunette - ran up to her parents through the deep snow.
‘Come on, dad,’ she said, tugging on her father’s hand urgently. ‘Dom's waiting; he’s got some snowballs ready. You can talk to mum later.’
The two adults smiled at their child’s impatience, and the man allowed himself to be towed along by his daughter.
Dominic was jolted back to the present roughly, by the tears streaming down his face. He buried his head in his hands, sobs wracking through his body. His fingers clenched in his hair, wrapping around tufts and pulling, hard. The pain did nothing to alleviate his grief. Images of his family flooded his mind; each time, they wore a different expression. His sister, curly brown hair unchanged from when he'd last seen her at a family gathering around nine months ago, wore an expression of happiness, happiness at seeing him again. His father came next, his face a place of shared relief and pain. His mother, a doting expression adorning her face. His sister, Emma, again, the feelings displayed mirroring his own, her face crumpling and tears spilling over. Dominic turned and slid down the cupboards onto the floor, curling himself into a tight a ball as he could manage. His cries made so much noise that he did not realise that he was not alone until a gentle voice spoke.
Matthew’s morning had been, by far, the best he’d had in a long while. He’d gotten up early and made it to the office before any of his staff, avoiding the curious, shy questions he would receive if they’d seen him (this was the most he’d gone in to work in weeks; being the manager of a large company, he didn’t need to be there,) flicking the coffee machine on for the staff on the way to his office. He’d spent the morning finishing paperwork; a boring task, but it numbed his ever talking brain, allowing him a bit of silence to think. Matthew managed to get a lot done, and was glad. His mood was high, and didn’t think anything to change that. He walked back to the flat and had opened the door to his flat expecting to be greeted by the inviting aroma of cooking food, but instead, his ears were assaulted by rough, harsh sobs. He had locked the door and hurried through the apartment, coming to an abrupt halt at the sight of Dominic. He had padded over slowly, and knelt beside the blonde.
‘Dominic, tell me what’s wrong.’
Although upset, Dominic knew that the subtle commanding hint in Matthew's tone was not to be ignored. In between sobs and hiccups, he explained with the words ‘my family,’ and continued to tell Matthew about them, and the unexpected memories that the snow had pulled up. Matthew sat perfectly still and silent for a minute, trying to process the information. He knew all about family problems and how it felt to miss them; he could both sympathise and empathise with Dominic. He felt a twinge inside him, but of what, he could not be sure. His compassion for the boy swelled, and he knew he should hug him. Matthew pushed the urge down quickly, panicking.
You have a common problem. Could he be trustworthy?
It was neither the time nor the place for introspection, Matthew decided, shoving his thoughts away. He could do that later. He focussed on calming the boy. He reached out a shaking hand, placing just the tips of his fingers on Dominic’s shoulder. Dominic’s head whipped around to look at the fingers in shock; Matthew’s touch was unexpected. Under scrutiny, Matthew withdrew his hand, but Dominic’s hand shot up and fingers wrapped around Matthew’s skinny wrist. Boldly, Dominic guided Matthew’s hand back onto his shoulder, grey eyes flicking up to meet blue nervously. Matthew swallowed and nodded to himself, fingers creeping further onto Dominic’s shoulder until his palm moulded to the bony curve. He nodded once more and squeezed, Dominic burying his face in his hands again, finding comfort in Matthew's warm touch.
‘Do you want to go out, Dominic?’
Matthew’s voice was soft, his tone something Dominic had not heard from him before. The snow was dangerous; it could bring back memories that Dominic was scared to relive, fearful of the pain, but from Matthew’s tone when he spoke, it seemed as if Matthew would take care of Dominic. What had changed with Matthew? Yesterday, he had refused to even take Dominic for a five minute walk around the block; today, he was suggesting it. Not only suggesting it, he said it in a way that expressed concern for Dominic; the only time Matthew had shown he cared about Dominic was when he made sure he did not get too cold, and that was for Matthew’s benefit too, not just Dominic’s. The blonde lifted his head from its recent repositioning in his hands and nodded carefully.
‘Excellent!’
Matthew sprung up and looked out of the window expectantly. The snow was falling heavily, a veritable storm. Dominic felt his excitement simmer as he stared out the window from the floor. Matthew turned back to him and offered him a hand.
‘C’mon, Dom, you need some more layers on.’
Dominic accepted the hand and allowed himself to be dragged through the flat, Matthew seemingly as excited as he was. The change was extraordinary; Dominic did not fail to notice Matthew’s slip in his enthusiasm. They practically ran through the bedroom door, Matthew dropping Dominic’s hand and opening a wardrobe door, rifling through its contents. He handed Dominic a puffy coat, gloves and a scarf, pulling his own on. Once suitably dressed, they hurried out the flat, Matthew almost forgetting to lock the door in his haste, and down the stairs. The complete U-turn in Matthew’s behaviour towards him still stunned Dominic; what was he meant to think of it? Had Matthew changed his opinion on him; had he realised that Dominic was not just his toy? Dominic was yanked out of his thoughts by a snowball hitting him in the middle of the chest. He looked up to see Matthew grinning mischievously. Slowly, he bent down and formed his own snowball, straightening and throwing it at Matthew, who neatly dodged.
‘Gonna have to be faster than that, Dominic!’ he called, accompanied by a cackle of laughter. Dominic grinned back at him, quickly becoming infected by Matthew’s mood and the still heavy snow. They fought a long battle, culminating in Matthew jumping on the blonde and pushing him to the ground, both of them getting covered in snow.
‘Fucking fags!’
Matthew rolled off Dominic and jumped to his feet, widened eyes jerking from place to place, backing off from the source of the shouting. Dominic stood, shivering slightly, and saw a young man, possibly in his mid-twenties. A look of utter disgust was painted on his face.
‘It's unnatural, what you do. You should all be lined up and shot.’
The man spat at Dominic, who stepped forward.
‘Excuse me,’ he said, it the politest tone he could muster. ‘What did you say?’
‘I said, you stupid fucking dick-‘ the man put his face right up to Dominic’s, ‘-that you're unnatural and deserve to die.’
Dominic felt a tugging at his coat, but did not dare glance back; the man could go for him.
‘Come on, Dominic, lets go back in.’
Dominic shook his head to Matthew.
‘You need to sort your attitude out. We're in the 21st Century and you need to accept that we’re not ‘unnatural’. And no one - no one - deserves to die. How dare you say that to my… my boyfriend.’
Dominic felt his protective nature emerge (a trait he had gained from his mother.) He stepped in front of Matthew, shielding him as the man started to flush red and his expression changed to anger.
‘How dare you-’
‘Dominic, let's go.’
This time, Dominic allowed Matthew to tow him back to the block of flats, knowing that the man would soon get violent. He shuddered as the warm air of the building enveloped his shaking body. As they climb the stairs, he almost felt his legs weaken as the adrenaline in his bloodstream began to dissipate and reality began to set in. Before, he never would’ve confronted someone like that; he had always been taught that the best thing to do was to ignore it and walk away. He could pretend that the complete change in his lifestyle was to blame for his change in behaviour but, if he was being honest, Dominic knew it was all down to Matthew.
They reached Matthew’s door, which was quickly unlocked and Dominic was pushed inside.
‘Go and sit down,’ Matthew muttered, leaning against the door, head resting upon it. ‘I'll come and join you in a minute.’
Dominic obeyed his instructions and walked into the lounge, discarding his soaked outer clothing. He flopped onto the sofa and curled up, pulling his beloved blanket over him. He flicked the TV on and let the light wash over him.
‘What you did there was... stupid, Dominic. Fucking stupid, but... brave.’ Matthew muttered, glancing down at Dominic. ‘I never expected that.’
‘Thank you,’ Dominic murmured back. ‘I could see that he-’ Dominic paused to consider his choice of words, ‘-he shocked you a bit.’
Matthew smiled wryly. ‘You could say that. Now, I’m going out tomorrow night, are you okay to stay here?’
Dominic was confused at the sudden change of subject, but nodded anyway. Matthew’s smile grew slightly, and he placed a hand on Dominic’s hair, closing his eyes blissfully when the blonde sighed and sitting down next to Dominic. They carried on talking, well into the night. They carried on their conversation even when Matthew began to cook, the blonde permitted to follow his master, wrapped in his blanket, into the kitchen.