don’t forget you’re bones and skin

[ladygawain]

summary: Bonnie and Jeremy deal with things after a fashion.
warnings: self-harm, suicide, substance abuse, violence, sex.
rating: high R/m
note: Written for the TVD Smutathon, softly_me's prompt, Bonnie/Jeremy, i'm alive, you understand? alive alive alive, (and also partially for a prompt I saw in the Adult Theme Ficathon that I’ve now lost). This isn’t as ‘

Comments

[softly_me]

Oh, wow, perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better fill. Your Bonnie is flawless (obviously), but you also do such a job with Jeremy, taking him from the canon constraints and giving him such depth and pain and complexity. This ship just took on a life of it's own here. I love the idea of Bonnie indulging in her power, digging into her darker self and letting Jeremy see it.

There’s a dark, dangerous smile on her mouth and he presses his fingers into her hips. The words she’s saying, the careless way she says them, shouldn’t make him this hot-but they do.

Like this here. The way she's so drunk on her power, so turned on by how much he trusts her. And Jeremy so helplessly drawn to her because she's a danger to him, because coming that close to death is the fix for an addict like him. (And because Jeremy falls for girls who could rip him apart.)

The one thing she’d set her mind to and it was all for nothing. She’d failed.

I love this image of Bonnie drawing a line around Elena's life. They've lost so much, but she sunk her feet into the ground and refused to lose her best friend too. Not that any of her refusal changed a thing. It also really makes their quiet lives post-Elena's-transition all the more tragic. Maybe things would have quieted down a lot sooner if Bonnie had just let Elena die earlier, maybe she could have spared everyone so much pain and anguish if she weren't so stubborn.

She’d been drunk on it, the power, to hurt, to funnel every drop of hate (everything) into something sharp, serrated at the edges, deadly.

goddamn

And then her eyes, darker than before, pupils dilated until they’re completely black. There's something cruel in them and it makes him arch, rub against her.

fuck. hot and creepy all at the same time. bless this fic

[ladygawain]

Ahh, thank you /o\ - I'm so glad this worked for you.

This ship just took on a life of it's own here.
\o/ all I could ask for!!!

The way she's so drunk on her power, so turned on by how much he trusts her. And Jeremy so helplessly drawn to her because she's a danger to him, because coming that close to death is the fix for an addict like him. (And because Jeremy falls for girls who could rip him apart.)

Yes this entirely. Like, this ship has really great ingredients - the show isn't quite sure what to do with it but it's just so there.

I love this image of Bonnie drawing a line around Elena's life. They've lost so much, but she sunk her feet into the ground and refused to lose her best friend too. Not that any of her refusal changed a thing. It also really makes their quiet lives post-Elena's-transition all the more tragic. Maybe things would have quieted down a lot sooner if Bonnie had just let Elena die earlier, maybe she could have spared everyone so much pain and anguish if she weren't so stubborn.

It's one of my favourite things about Bonnie, this unhealthy way in which she committed herself so fully to "saving Elena" and I think to me it was always not entirely about Elena (that's why it's bearable) but Elena becomes the kind of figurehead for so many things. And this loss? This "failure" will be a blow (and it's not even like she's the one whose dead but gosh). Ugh. And that's exactly what I was going for with the mundaneness of it all, the rather quotidian way in which everyone just gets over it. Because apart from the initial flurry and ongoing angst etc., I think Elena will adjust to being a vampire just fine (she's Elena) and they've all been through this before with Caroline. And things will settle. And it'll make Bonnie wonder, wonder about all those months spent looking up spells, almost killing herself to save, treading into really ambiguous waters etc. etc. and then, guess what? Life happens, and they just go on. What was she fighting so hard for, in the end? Obsessed with what it'll do to her to have to carve out a different sense of purpose all her own.

goddamn

my life is complete.

fuck. hot and creepy all at the same time. bless this fic

Heee, all I wanted. I feel like hot and creepy should just be my tag for half the ships on this show.

Thank you for this comment, seriously. Because I'm obsessed with your tags and your fic and your meta, it means a lot that you liked this.

[angryzen]

And it'll make Bonnie wonder, wonder about all those months spent looking up spells, almost killing herself to save, treading into really ambiguous waters etc. etc. and then, guess what? Life happens, and they just go on. What was she fighting so hard for, in the end? Obsessed with what it'll do to her to have to carve out a different sense of purpose all her own.

It's super sad. I wish the writers would sit down and think about this character and realize this and write her season 4 journey accordingly. Because we've already said that Bonnie can't completely deal with the "Life goes on philosophy," not for major things like this. Narducci is the only one who could make sure this was explored, but he's not an executive producer.