(no subject)
Man, the flu can go and take a fucking running jump. I've spent nearly the past week laid up in bed feeling like death, and considering the fact that I had food poisoning that I had barely recovered from when it decided to swoop in, I think it's pretty safe to say that I've had enough of being ill. I mean, seriously? My immune system fucking hates me right now.
Being sick beyond belief has also played absolute fucking havoc with my mood. I've been seriously feeling like shit for the past couple of weeks, even more than usual by my own standards (which is partially the reason why I disappeared off the face of the earth for a few weeks), and it really doesn't feel like it's going to be leaving anytime soon. I've been threatened with hospitalisation twice in the past month because of my depression and the fact that I severed two nerves in my arm and needed nearly 40 stitches during a seriously bad episode. I'm freaking out about everything, I've been bursting into tears over the stupidest of things, I've almost constantly slept and starved for the past month, but I can't go back and face that asshole of a psychiatrist again. Ever since my suicide attempt last year and my self-harm relapse on NYE, he's been such an arrogant, homophobic and hurtful prick, and as much as I know - and my BFF keeps telling me - that I seriously need to go back, I just can't. I can't wait until October when I'll finally be able to change therapist, but until then, I guess I'm screwed.
On lighter news, me and my friend are travelling to Southampton tomorrow for the University open day. It's quite scary to realise that in about 18 months time, I'll be in Uni, and that's even scarier when I don't have a fucking clue what I'm even going to do, let alone where to study! Still, it should be a pretty cool trip, even if it means being dragged up at 7am in the morning for a near 3 hour car drive!
Speaking of cars, have I ever mentioned how they are the most irritating rustbuckets on the face of the earth? It's just that I'm seriously pissed with them right now, I swear driving lessons are going to literally drive me insane! However, I didn't crash the car this time!! Hayley 1 - Car 0!
Finally in Guns related news, I'm just over 11,000 words into this absolute beast of a fic, and I will personally be utterly ecstatic when it's finally done, because it's seriously kicking my ass right now! Who knew that angsty, hungover and generally confused Guns would be so damn hard to write? However, I finally have a title for it, and I finally know how it's actually going to finish, so I'm hoping that I'll soon be able to move onto my next bunny! I have like a backlog of 5 or 6 bunnies that are all fucking having orgies in my head and sprouting up more ideas that refuse to go away! Damn those stupid sexy Guns for being so irritating and fun to write!!
Oh well! Much love to all of my flist, you're all amazing :) <3
Being sick beyond belief has also played absolute fucking havoc with my mood. I've been seriously feeling like shit for the past couple of weeks, even more than usual by my own standards (which is partially the reason why I disappeared off the face of the earth for a few weeks), and it really doesn't feel like it's going to be leaving anytime soon. I've been threatened with hospitalisation twice in the past month because of my depression and the fact that I severed two nerves in my arm and needed nearly 40 stitches during a seriously bad episode. I'm freaking out about everything, I've been bursting into tears over the stupidest of things, I've almost constantly slept and starved for the past month, but I can't go back and face that asshole of a psychiatrist again. Ever since my suicide attempt last year and my self-harm relapse on NYE, he's been such an arrogant, homophobic and hurtful prick, and as much as I know - and my BFF keeps telling me - that I seriously need to go back, I just can't. I can't wait until October when I'll finally be able to change therapist, but until then, I guess I'm screwed.
On lighter news, me and my friend are travelling to Southampton tomorrow for the University open day. It's quite scary to realise that in about 18 months time, I'll be in Uni, and that's even scarier when I don't have a fucking clue what I'm even going to do, let alone where to study! Still, it should be a pretty cool trip, even if it means being dragged up at 7am in the morning for a near 3 hour car drive!
Speaking of cars, have I ever mentioned how they are the most irritating rustbuckets on the face of the earth? It's just that I'm seriously pissed with them right now, I swear driving lessons are going to literally drive me insane! However, I didn't crash the car this time!! Hayley 1 - Car 0!
Finally in Guns related news, I'm just over 11,000 words into this absolute beast of a fic, and I will personally be utterly ecstatic when it's finally done, because it's seriously kicking my ass right now! Who knew that angsty, hungover and generally confused Guns would be so damn hard to write? However, I finally have a title for it, and I finally know how it's actually going to finish, so I'm hoping that I'll soon be able to move onto my next bunny! I have like a backlog of 5 or 6 bunnies that are all fucking having orgies in my head and sprouting up more ideas that refuse to go away! Damn those stupid sexy Guns for being so irritating and fun to write!!
Oh well! Much love to all of my flist, you're all amazing :) <3