Fic Time! Balance 3/?
So, yeah, here's the next part to this fic. It ended up turning out completely different to the original plan in my head, which kinda pissed the bunnies off just a little bit, but I still love this part :) Hopefully you guys will enjoy it :)
Title: Balance 3/?
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Fandom: Star Trek 2009
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 4779
Warnings: Pure smut, absolute pure filthy smut of the angry, violent variety :D
Summary: Jim has had enough, but when he sets out to teach Spock a lesson about respect and dominance, Jim gets taught a few lessons himself. Mainly, never take on an angry Vulcan...
The second time it had happened, at least Jim thought he could claim some kind of innocence.
Okay, so maybe Bones would beat him round the head and tell him otherwise, but Jim hadn’t deliberately set out to piss Spock off. He wasn’t aiming to piss Spock off at all; it wasn’t his fault that the Goddamn Vulcan took everything so fucking seriously, or that he was so fucking sensitive underneath that cold, logical mask he wore.
He wasn’t even expecting it if he was to be totally honest with himself.
It had been just under a week since the confrontation in Spock’s quarters that led to some of the best sex Jim had ever had, just under a week since everything had been thrown on its head and Bones had warned him not to do anything stupid.
He hadn’t. No, really, he hadn’t.
After a good night’s sleep - courtesy of Bones and those irritating hypos that Jim had to begrudgingly admit weren’t so bad sometimes - Jim had turned up to Alpha Shift the following morning with nothing more than a slight limp and some faint teeth marks over the pulse point on his neck that not even the dermal regenerator could heal up.
If he hadn’t thought any better, he could’ve sworn that Spock had been trying to fucking mark him up as his own, but when he’d arrived and found Spock already sitting at the Science console like usual, his face remarkably stoic and unaffected by Jim’s arrival as he gave his Captain a rundown on the status of the ship in his normally smooth tone, it almost seemed as if Spock had forgotten the blunt fact that he’d fucked his superior officer into next week mere hours before.
And hey, if Spock wasn’t going to mention what had happened, then why the hell would Jim mention it either?
Jim had simply stood behind the Vulcan’s chair, listening attentively as Spock finished going through reports from Gamma Shift about the Quasar system they had finished observing and started talking about the new mission that they’d been assigned.
They were being sent to a recently discovered planet on the far edge of the Delta Quadrant they’d been surveying called Gelbeshka, a Class-M planet rich in new species of flora that had high medicinal potential, and despite how much Spock would vehemently deny it, Jim knew that Spock was beyond excited at the prospect of going down to the surface to research the species.
He had sat there for nearly 20 minutes, talking about the culture and customs of the native Gelbesh race, talking about the fascinating ionic make-up of the planet and generally regaling Jim with information that didn’t bother Jim in the slightest.
As far as Jim was concerned, this was another one of those missions where he had to do very little but sit there and play nice whilst the Science nerds had their fun. Once Spock had finished, Jim had done what he did every single shift beforehand; he had smiled widely, clapped his hand down on the curve of Spock’s shoulder and told him to carry on as usual.
However, it had been anything but usual today. Spock had gone tense beneath Jim’s hand, his heartbeat increasing tenfold against the tips of Jim’s fingers, and Jim had felt a very faint wave of… of something beginning to emanate through Spock’s skin.
Whatever it was, it felt warm, desperate, tentative, like it was trying to reach out towards him but was scared to do so, but it was only there for the briefest of seconds before the barriers slammed back down and Spock straightened back up in his seat, nodding in the affirmative.
When Jim’s hand had left his shoulder, Spock had shrunk in on himself ever so slightly, his dark eyes shining with confusion, denial, sadness - much like they had last night when Jim had left - and Jim had felt the smile on his face dim slightly, remembering Bones’ warning from before.
He was tempted to ask Spock whether he was okay, but his brain immediately kicked in, informing him of the variety of different ways in which that was stupid as hell. For starters, to ask that could lead to the possibility of the huge, fucking gigantic space Elephant in the room making things very awkward for the rest of Alpha Shift and the Away mission when, as Captain and First Officer, they’d need to be as strong and slick as they usually were.
Secondly, to ask Spock something like that would basically be broadcasting the fact that Spock had actually shown emotions, something that Spock would both be incredibly not-insulted by and would viciously deny as being impossible for a Vulcan.
Thirdly, Jim would be damned if he dared to disrupt the fragile equilibrium that had fallen between them after their fight the night before, so despite the fist that felt like it was squeezing itself around Jim’s heart and brain for a split second at the tangible bitterness and depression in Spock’s eyes - not that Jim could understand why the hell he actually gave a shit, or why the hell he felt so concerned for the green-blooded bastard - Jim just nodded his head in return before turning and placing himself in the Captain’s chair as the rest of the Bridge Crew started to filter in.
The rest of the shift as they’d warped to Gelbeshka had gone reasonably normal - well, as normal as it could for this particular crew anyway; Jim couldn’t quite look over at Chekov without smirking over the memory of him leaving Bones’ office very sneakily - but Jim could feel Spock’s eyes burning into him.
He could feel this odd buzzing warmth very faintly at the back of his skull, like that kind of sensation someone got when they’d had one too many glasses of Romulan Ale, that had been there for the last few hours or so; very occasionally though, the buzzing became almost painfully numb, and whenever that happened, he’d noticed out of the corner of his eye the way that Spock was staring at him, totally distracted from his station.
He’d found it rather amusing to begin with, but the longer it went on, it started to become irritating as hell.
He could feel his anger starting to rear its head again, and after a particularly painful couple of minutes when all he could hear whilst he was supposed to be concentrating on getting the Enterprise into the correct positioning for orbit was the sound of Spock’s minute keening beneath his increased breathing, Jim had clenched his fist tightly, hissing out his annoyance as he tried to refrain from marching straight over to his First Officer and asking him what the fuck he had done to his head. However, the sudden hubbub of noise and static as Uhura’s voice broke through his increasingly murderous thoughts, informing him that they were cleared to go down to the surface.
Thanking her through gritted teeth, he had tried to ignore the look she had given him as he marched off the Bridge, making his way down to the Transporter room to meet with the rest of the Away Team. He didn’t give a shit what he had promised to Bones, but if Spock didn’t stop doing… just stop whatever the fuck he was doing, then Jim was going to fucking kill the stupid Vulcan bastard.
When he had heard the softest echo of footsteps behind him, a shadow falling into step with his own against the floor and the warmth of breath just barely brushing against the back of his neck, the sensation in his head was almost starting to sear through him, and Jim snapped.
Stopping abruptly, he turned sharply, pushing Spock against the wall of the corridor and pinning his in place with a forearm across his chest. He’d seen Spock’s eyes darken slightly, his mouth just barely open as he stared back at Jim with all of the spite and anger that Jim was glaring at him with.
However, there was something else in the air; something tangible, something that he could almost taste, and the heaviness that settled around them, that drowned out everything except the beating of their hearts and the sounds of Jim’s deliberately calming breaths, became almost suffocating.
“I don’t give a shit what fucking rules and regulations you give me, but the second we get down onto that fucking planet, I don’t want you within 6 fucking metres of me Commander, do you understand?”
Jim’s voice was icy cold and dangerously soft, and Jim noticed the way that Spock seemed to almost wince at the tone before that Vulcan mask was well and truly back in place, his blackened eyes carefully blank.
“Despite the fact that, as your First Officer and Second-in-Command, it is prerequisite in my duties to ensure that you as Captain are kept safe from any and all threats to your person, I will acquiesce to your request even though it is, in my professional opinion, frankly illogical and unwarranted.”
Spock’s voice was no longer even; it had dropped to almost a whisper that was so full of fire and anger that Jim had struggled not to flinch away from it. Taking a step back, Jim’s hands were clenching and unclenching rhythmically behind his back with such rage that he was leaving deep crescents in the palms, and not even the totally unwanted shiver that ran down his spine at Spock’s tone made him stop.
He gave a smirk of triumph when Spock dropped his gaze to the floor, letting out a slight exhalation of breath that was most definitely not a sigh as he let his head tilt forward. The air around them was no longer hot, heavy, or charged with the electricity and hints of lust that Jim hadn’t seemed to notice previously; now, it was cold, empty, almost painful and bleak like it was mirroring the arrogant Vulcan standing before him, and Jim couldn’t help but feel slightly unnerved before he reigned it in and buried it beneath the hard Captain exterior he prided himself on.
“Good. Now, I’ll expect to see you and your assembled Science team in the Transporter room in 5 minutes. If you’re even a second late, don’t think I won’t hold you responsible.” As Jim had stalked away, trying not to scream at the sudden icy needles that were threatening to split his skull open as the built up anger ringed and knotted his gut; he never heard Spock’s reply, one filled with equal measures of despair, confusion and hatred.
“As you wish, Captain.”
*****
When they’d landed down on the planet’s surface, things had gone pretty smoothly; if it wasn’t for the simmering anger and lack of communication between himself and his asshole of a First Officer, Jim would’ve almost classed it as a success.
The Gelbesh, despite appearing as rather primitive with their distinct lack of technology, or housing, or clothing - not that Jim had taken to staring at the very beautiful and very naked blue skinned woman who’d come to escort them to their leader - were surprisingly intelligent and incredibly friendly.
Jim had immediately noticed from the variety of people he’d seen on their way through the woodlands that they were tactile and soft-spoken, and that they seemed to react to the vibes of the land; he remembered Spock telling him of their mild telepathy and strong empathy - apparently, they had markings on their hands that would change colour depending on the mood, like some kind of mood-ring, Jim had briefly chuckled - and although briefly concerned at the time about the idea of being surrounded by telepaths who were unknown in their alliances, Jim could now see that he had nothing to worry about.
When they had met with the leader of their planet - Bek; an old, sky-blue skinned male with ornate purple markings tattooed on his hands that glowed white when Jim shook his hand - Jim had felt completely at ease.
The people seemed more than hospitable, and when Bek exuberantly offered a small group of eager natives to accompany Spock and his Science team to an area of Greenland abundant in different species of flora that could provide interesting analysis, Jim felt even better.
Not having Spock within eye sight meant that there was much less chance of Jim losing his temper, and when the buzzing at the back of his skull - although somewhat insistent, like it was trying to keep as tight a leash on him as possible - calmed down to a barely perceptible throb, Jim made a mental note to keep Spock as far away as possible in future if it meant this stupid… stupid thing in his head would stop bothering him.
The rest of the afternoon had passed in a haze of music and cultural exchanges as Jim - without the aid of Spock, which made him smirk - managed to open up potential offers of future admission to the Federation, future possibilities of using the planet for Shore Leave, and somehow also managed to astound the Gelbesh with his knowledge and appreciation of the art and music they seemed to be so versed in.
It had certainly been one of the better missions that he’d taken part in since becoming Captain, and when Bek invited Jim and the rest of the Away team to a feast to mark the occasion, Jim certainly wasn’t going to turn it down.
His mellow had been harshed slightly when Spock and the irritating buzzing returned, Spock looking and sounding oddly tired and drained as he spoke with him about the species of flora he and his team had discovered that had highly potent medicinal properties, but it wasn’t enough to dampen his spirits.
Okay, so Spock still seemed strangely conflicted around him, his eyes black with what appeared to be a combination of anger and hunger, and he was definitely a lot snappier than usual, especially if someone looked at or touched him in any way - Jim was getting an awful lot of attention from the Gelbesh, but that wasn’t unusual Jim thought smugly - but as long as the Vulcan could still do his job, Jim wasn’t overly bothered.
It hadn’t been until the feast was nearly ended that things had started to turn sour. It wasn’t his fault that the young woman sitting beside him found him interesting, or that she was being incredibly tactile and flirtatious, and if she had started breathing against his neck, her voluptuous breasts in full display for him to admire, that wasn’t his fault either. He was only human after all.
It had been a while since he’d really been able to cut loose and have some fun - he vehemently refused to count his fight and sex with Spock, because he just didn’t, regardless of how perfect it had been - and when she began to run her fingers up his naked arm, whispering about the possibility of going somewhere slightly more quiet as the markings on her hand glowed a vibrant red, well, he’d have been an idiot to turn that down.
However, the moment he had stood and turned around, he’d come face to face with Spock. Spock wasn’t looking at his face though; his eyes were firmly locked on Jim’s hand, on the blue-skinned hand that was encased in Jim’s and the fingers that were tightly laced together, and for a split second, Jim could’ve almost sworn that he heard Spock’s heart drop to the floor, the sensation in his head suddenly turning cold and painful - like it had been broken - before Spock’s face hardened and he tore his eyes upwards to meet Jim’s.
“Whilst you have already explicitly requested that I am not to interfere in your activities or decisions for the duration of this exploration Captain, I cannot help but inform you that if you were to continue in your planned actions, you would be very much compromising the success of this mission, as well as potentially causing many diplomatic issues pertaining to the inclusion of Gelbeshka in the Federation.”
Jim felt his blood start to heat, and he was well aware that he was failing to reign in his rage; the markings on the Gelbesh’s hand had turned from red to jet black.
“And let me tell you Commander, that what I get up to within my private life doesn’t concern you in the slightest.”
Jim watched as Spock’s hand clenched into a fist beside him for a brief few seconds before he released it, letting out a rather forced hiss of breath as he leaned in closer to Jim.
“Captain, to engage in sexual activities during a diplomatic and scientific mission with a member of the planet’s race involved is not only highly illogical, but also highly reckless and against Starfleet regulations. As much as you claim that your private life is none of my concern, I am forced to tell you that if you consciously break regulations on this mission, regardless of its success, I will have to report you to the Admiralty.”
To say that Spock’s voice had turned icy was an understatement, and the air had become suffocatingly thick with sheer disgust, hatred and… betrayal? Before Jim could open his mouth and respond, Bek had approached, concern written all over his face as he glanced over Jim and Spock.
“Captain Kirk, I trust that there’s nothing wrong?” Bek had laid his hand softly on Jim’s shoulder, and when Spock’s glare had turned almost possessively dark, Jim felt his control snap.
Letting go of the woman’s hand, who looked almost relieved to leave as she scurried back towards the feast, he had tried to keep his voice as even as possible in order not to reveal his current overwhelming urge to beat the shit out of Spock.
“I can assure you that neither you nor your people have done anything wrong. I just need a few moments to discuss something with my First Officer, if there is somewhere that we can go that is more suitable?”
The wary look in Bek’s eyes suggested that he didn’t quite believe Jim, but he nodded his head before leading both men through a woodlands to a clear opening a short distance away from the gathering - the fact that Jim couldn’t hear the extreme noise from the feast meant that nobody was about to be able to overhear the inevitable explosion.
Jim waited until Bek had retreated out of sight before he rounded on Spock’s statue still body, giving him such a hard push that Spock almost ended up flat on the ground.
“Now, what in the blue fuck were you fucking playing at, huh?! You fucking stood there after I fucking told you to stay the hell away from me, after I gave you a direct fucking order, and got involved in something that didn’t concern you, and for what?! So you could satisfy your own Goddamn needs? So you could try to get one-up on me? I could have you fucking demoted for this! I could have you fucking knocked down a peg so damn fast that your head will spin, and this time I won’t even need a fucking reason! I don’t care what kind of fucking story you try to spin this time, but you have no fucking right to interfere in my Goddamn private life, Commander.”
Jim’s words were so thick with vitriol and fire that he actually saw Spock flinch, his face crumpling with a flood of emotions and his eyes so wide and dark that it if he was human, Jim almost felt like Spock was going to burst into tears if he had been anything but the stupid Vulcan he was.
As it was, the buzzing in his brain had become so icy, so dark and depressing that Jim was finding it almost impossible to do anything, and when he took a menacing step forward, feeling the naked waves of emotion emanating from Spock’s skin that seemed to almost perfectly mirror the atmosphere at the back of Jim’s skull, Jim felt his face twist in pure hatred and despise as he roughly pushed Spock up against one of the trees at the edge of the clearing.
“You absolute fucking son of a bitch, what the fuck have you done to me?!”
If it wasn’t for the fierce pounding of Spock’s heart in his stomach, Jim almost could’ve sworn that Spock wasn’t actually there. He looked almost in a trance, his eyes boring holes into Jim and his voice uneven and shot through with emotion that Spock could no longer control.
“I can smell her scent all over you.”
Jim felt like his skin was almost going to blister from the sudden rush of indescribable anger he felt towards Spock, and he couldn’t stop himself from pushing Spock back hard against the tree with such force that the tree shook.
Spock barely gave any reaction to the rough shove, but Jim could see Spock’s pupils dilate until they seemed to swallow up all the warmth in Spock’s eyes, an almost imperceptible growl rumbling in the Vulcan’s chest as he continued to repeat those words with such indignation, disgust and rejection that he sounded like a broken record.
Jim rolled his eyes, taking a deep breath before he gave Spock such a sharp, violently hard slap around the face that the reverberation seemed to ring through the air. Spock’s head snapped to the right, a bottle-green mark instantly becoming visible on his tinged cheek, and Jim gripped Spock’s chin tight, forcing him to look at Jim as he glared at the suddenly pissed off, yet strangely subdued and dejected, Vulcan in front of him.
“What the fuck have you done to my brain, you fucking pointy-eared bastard?! Because I fucking swear on Sam’s life, that if you don’t fucking stop it right fucking now, then I will make you regret the day you didn’t fucking die on that stupid God forsaken planet of yours!”
Spock’s eyes shone murderously with untempered anger, with heartbreak and depression, and beneath it all, a sense of sheer fear and terror. “I… I… I cannot consciously do that Captain, for that would mean putting your life at risk, a decision that I cannot willingly undertake.”
Spock’s voice sounded almost like he was dazed, yet there was a silent plea beneath it that Jim could hear. What that plea was, Jim didn’t really give a fucking shit, because all he knew was that he was mere seconds away from killing an endangered species, and fuck, that would be worth the stupid planet he got sent to for it.
“My life at risk? My fucking life at risk?! Your fucking life is at risk right now, because I am fucking ordering you to stop whatever the fuck it is you’re doing, and if you don’t, I am going to fucking rip your ears straight off your head!”
“No.”
Spock’s answer was immediate, full of desperation and begging as one of his hands tightly grasped Jim’s wrist, preventing him from moving away from him; Jim had never seen Vulcan’s allowing such wanton displays of emotion, and beneath the searing anger burning away at him, Jim couldn’t deny that he felt the slightest hint of concern over Spock’s mental state as that dull ache pulsed in his chest again, but that didn’t stop the red mist that descended over him as he forced Spock back further, tightening his grip on Spock’s chin as he leaned his forehead against Spock’s own.
With so much skin contact, it was impossible to ignore the physical outpouring of feelings that Spock couldn’t control, that was tearing him apart, but Jim wasn’t going to buckle. To stop would undermine his authority, and Spock needed to fucking understand that he was Captain now.
Despite the mental assault though from the strength of Spock’s emotions, Jim was more acutely aware of the soft, warm breaths that brushed against his lips, of the sudden pooling of heat in the bottom of his stomach, and the shiver of arousal that skated down his spine only served to piss him off even further.
“And why the fuck not, Spock? I demand you to tell me right now why the fuck you’re blatantly refusing my orders, ex Commander.”
Spock looked torn.
He was trying to turn his head away, to avoid Jim’s eyes, but the way that Jim had him surrounded made it impossible. He was trapped, and Jim knew it, but that still didn’t prepare Jim for Spock’s sudden wave of capitulated anger as he wound his free hand into Jim’s hair.
“Because you are mine.”
With strength 3 times more than Jim could withstand, Spock suddenly yanked his head forward, smashing their mouths together with such violence, such viciousness, that Jim was almost convinced Spock had broken his neck.
He could feel Spock desperately trying to rut against him, his teeth roughly dragging against Jim’s bottom lip as he sucked it into his mouth, and the sudden surge of power that Jim felt surge through him, that he felt the need to reassert as memories of this happening less than a week beforehand, meant that seconds later, Jim had Spock’s wrists pinned above his head against the bark, his hips grinding into Spock’s own with so much force that Spock’s back was being cut against the wood with the movements, and his mouth attacking Spock’s with just as much voracity and ravenous hunger that it was almost dizzying.
The buzzing in Jim’s head was now so intense it hurt, but it was no longer painful; as the seconds went on and the kiss became bloodier, more forceful and more frantic, it was becoming almost an overwhelming numbness that was threatening to overwhelm all of his senses.
He could feel himself growing hard against the inside of his uniform pants; he could feel Spock’s already solid erection rubbing his groin with every thrust against him, and when he heard Spock’s almost breathless keen, felt him moaning involuntarily into his mouth, Jim almost felt like his head was going to explode from the onslaught of helpless pleasure from Spock as he pushed his tongue into Spock’s mouth.
He never gave Spock any chance to try and take control; no, this time, Jim was going to prove to Spock that he was always going to be the dominant one.
Nothing was going to stop him from getting even with that Vulcan bastard as he clasped both of Spock’s wrists in one hand, immediately reaching down with his other to start groping Spock painfully hard through his pants as he continued to grind against him.
Except maybe some shitty timing.
The communicator on Jim’s wrist started bleeping, alerting Jim to the fact that someone from the Bridge was trying to contact him, and he tore his mouth away from Spock’s with a violent curse, his uneven breaths deep and harsh as he tried to slow down his hips and create some distance from Spock. After a couple of minutes to catch his calm his body down, during which he both pointedly ignored Spock’s look of frustrated anger and sadness and tried to stop himself from licking his lips like he really wanted to, he answered the comm, the very deliberate evenness of his voice hiding both his lust and anger at the situation.
Spock’s hands immediately latched onto Jim’s hips, his black, unshielded eyes almost begging with Jim not to stop; it almost reminded Jim of the look Spock had given him that night when he’d walked out of Spock’s quarters, but Jim didn’t give in to the pathetically pitiful look in his eyes.
Tearing himself out of Spock’s grip with a murderous glare, he quickly smoothed out his uniform shirt, mouthing at Spock with barely restrained malice to “sort himself out now, Goddammit,” before the familiar sensation of dematerialisation started to filter through the air and engulf them both.
Jim made sure he was at least 3 feet from Spock, his hand clenching into a fist whenever Spock looked like he was going to reach out to him, step closer, even speak to him, until eventually, Spock gave up, standing there in almost painfully numb silence as he stared at Jim.
The fear, the depression, the sadness in Spock’s eyes could all be seen clear as day before Spock barely forced them back down behind that Vulcan mask, and Jim couldn’t help but feel that uneasy, guilty pang as they were both beamed back up onto the ship.
Things had just become a whole lot worse.
Title: Balance 3/?
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Fandom: Star Trek 2009
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 4779
Warnings: Pure smut, absolute pure filthy smut of the angry, violent variety :D
Summary: Jim has had enough, but when he sets out to teach Spock a lesson about respect and dominance, Jim gets taught a few lessons himself. Mainly, never take on an angry Vulcan...
The second time it had happened, at least Jim thought he could claim some kind of innocence.
Okay, so maybe Bones would beat him round the head and tell him otherwise, but Jim hadn’t deliberately set out to piss Spock off. He wasn’t aiming to piss Spock off at all; it wasn’t his fault that the Goddamn Vulcan took everything so fucking seriously, or that he was so fucking sensitive underneath that cold, logical mask he wore.
He wasn’t even expecting it if he was to be totally honest with himself.
It had been just under a week since the confrontation in Spock’s quarters that led to some of the best sex Jim had ever had, just under a week since everything had been thrown on its head and Bones had warned him not to do anything stupid.
He hadn’t. No, really, he hadn’t.
After a good night’s sleep - courtesy of Bones and those irritating hypos that Jim had to begrudgingly admit weren’t so bad sometimes - Jim had turned up to Alpha Shift the following morning with nothing more than a slight limp and some faint teeth marks over the pulse point on his neck that not even the dermal regenerator could heal up.
If he hadn’t thought any better, he could’ve sworn that Spock had been trying to fucking mark him up as his own, but when he’d arrived and found Spock already sitting at the Science console like usual, his face remarkably stoic and unaffected by Jim’s arrival as he gave his Captain a rundown on the status of the ship in his normally smooth tone, it almost seemed as if Spock had forgotten the blunt fact that he’d fucked his superior officer into next week mere hours before.
And hey, if Spock wasn’t going to mention what had happened, then why the hell would Jim mention it either?
Jim had simply stood behind the Vulcan’s chair, listening attentively as Spock finished going through reports from Gamma Shift about the Quasar system they had finished observing and started talking about the new mission that they’d been assigned.
They were being sent to a recently discovered planet on the far edge of the Delta Quadrant they’d been surveying called Gelbeshka, a Class-M planet rich in new species of flora that had high medicinal potential, and despite how much Spock would vehemently deny it, Jim knew that Spock was beyond excited at the prospect of going down to the surface to research the species.
He had sat there for nearly 20 minutes, talking about the culture and customs of the native Gelbesh race, talking about the fascinating ionic make-up of the planet and generally regaling Jim with information that didn’t bother Jim in the slightest.
As far as Jim was concerned, this was another one of those missions where he had to do very little but sit there and play nice whilst the Science nerds had their fun. Once Spock had finished, Jim had done what he did every single shift beforehand; he had smiled widely, clapped his hand down on the curve of Spock’s shoulder and told him to carry on as usual.
However, it had been anything but usual today. Spock had gone tense beneath Jim’s hand, his heartbeat increasing tenfold against the tips of Jim’s fingers, and Jim had felt a very faint wave of… of something beginning to emanate through Spock’s skin.
Whatever it was, it felt warm, desperate, tentative, like it was trying to reach out towards him but was scared to do so, but it was only there for the briefest of seconds before the barriers slammed back down and Spock straightened back up in his seat, nodding in the affirmative.
When Jim’s hand had left his shoulder, Spock had shrunk in on himself ever so slightly, his dark eyes shining with confusion, denial, sadness - much like they had last night when Jim had left - and Jim had felt the smile on his face dim slightly, remembering Bones’ warning from before.
He was tempted to ask Spock whether he was okay, but his brain immediately kicked in, informing him of the variety of different ways in which that was stupid as hell. For starters, to ask that could lead to the possibility of the huge, fucking gigantic space Elephant in the room making things very awkward for the rest of Alpha Shift and the Away mission when, as Captain and First Officer, they’d need to be as strong and slick as they usually were.
Secondly, to ask Spock something like that would basically be broadcasting the fact that Spock had actually shown emotions, something that Spock would both be incredibly not-insulted by and would viciously deny as being impossible for a Vulcan.
Thirdly, Jim would be damned if he dared to disrupt the fragile equilibrium that had fallen between them after their fight the night before, so despite the fist that felt like it was squeezing itself around Jim’s heart and brain for a split second at the tangible bitterness and depression in Spock’s eyes - not that Jim could understand why the hell he actually gave a shit, or why the hell he felt so concerned for the green-blooded bastard - Jim just nodded his head in return before turning and placing himself in the Captain’s chair as the rest of the Bridge Crew started to filter in.
The rest of the shift as they’d warped to Gelbeshka had gone reasonably normal - well, as normal as it could for this particular crew anyway; Jim couldn’t quite look over at Chekov without smirking over the memory of him leaving Bones’ office very sneakily - but Jim could feel Spock’s eyes burning into him.
He could feel this odd buzzing warmth very faintly at the back of his skull, like that kind of sensation someone got when they’d had one too many glasses of Romulan Ale, that had been there for the last few hours or so; very occasionally though, the buzzing became almost painfully numb, and whenever that happened, he’d noticed out of the corner of his eye the way that Spock was staring at him, totally distracted from his station.
He’d found it rather amusing to begin with, but the longer it went on, it started to become irritating as hell.
He could feel his anger starting to rear its head again, and after a particularly painful couple of minutes when all he could hear whilst he was supposed to be concentrating on getting the Enterprise into the correct positioning for orbit was the sound of Spock’s minute keening beneath his increased breathing, Jim had clenched his fist tightly, hissing out his annoyance as he tried to refrain from marching straight over to his First Officer and asking him what the fuck he had done to his head. However, the sudden hubbub of noise and static as Uhura’s voice broke through his increasingly murderous thoughts, informing him that they were cleared to go down to the surface.
Thanking her through gritted teeth, he had tried to ignore the look she had given him as he marched off the Bridge, making his way down to the Transporter room to meet with the rest of the Away Team. He didn’t give a shit what he had promised to Bones, but if Spock didn’t stop doing… just stop whatever the fuck he was doing, then Jim was going to fucking kill the stupid Vulcan bastard.
When he had heard the softest echo of footsteps behind him, a shadow falling into step with his own against the floor and the warmth of breath just barely brushing against the back of his neck, the sensation in his head was almost starting to sear through him, and Jim snapped.
Stopping abruptly, he turned sharply, pushing Spock against the wall of the corridor and pinning his in place with a forearm across his chest. He’d seen Spock’s eyes darken slightly, his mouth just barely open as he stared back at Jim with all of the spite and anger that Jim was glaring at him with.
However, there was something else in the air; something tangible, something that he could almost taste, and the heaviness that settled around them, that drowned out everything except the beating of their hearts and the sounds of Jim’s deliberately calming breaths, became almost suffocating.
“I don’t give a shit what fucking rules and regulations you give me, but the second we get down onto that fucking planet, I don’t want you within 6 fucking metres of me Commander, do you understand?”
Jim’s voice was icy cold and dangerously soft, and Jim noticed the way that Spock seemed to almost wince at the tone before that Vulcan mask was well and truly back in place, his blackened eyes carefully blank.
“Despite the fact that, as your First Officer and Second-in-Command, it is prerequisite in my duties to ensure that you as Captain are kept safe from any and all threats to your person, I will acquiesce to your request even though it is, in my professional opinion, frankly illogical and unwarranted.”
Spock’s voice was no longer even; it had dropped to almost a whisper that was so full of fire and anger that Jim had struggled not to flinch away from it. Taking a step back, Jim’s hands were clenching and unclenching rhythmically behind his back with such rage that he was leaving deep crescents in the palms, and not even the totally unwanted shiver that ran down his spine at Spock’s tone made him stop.
He gave a smirk of triumph when Spock dropped his gaze to the floor, letting out a slight exhalation of breath that was most definitely not a sigh as he let his head tilt forward. The air around them was no longer hot, heavy, or charged with the electricity and hints of lust that Jim hadn’t seemed to notice previously; now, it was cold, empty, almost painful and bleak like it was mirroring the arrogant Vulcan standing before him, and Jim couldn’t help but feel slightly unnerved before he reigned it in and buried it beneath the hard Captain exterior he prided himself on.
“Good. Now, I’ll expect to see you and your assembled Science team in the Transporter room in 5 minutes. If you’re even a second late, don’t think I won’t hold you responsible.” As Jim had stalked away, trying not to scream at the sudden icy needles that were threatening to split his skull open as the built up anger ringed and knotted his gut; he never heard Spock’s reply, one filled with equal measures of despair, confusion and hatred.
“As you wish, Captain.”
*****
When they’d landed down on the planet’s surface, things had gone pretty smoothly; if it wasn’t for the simmering anger and lack of communication between himself and his asshole of a First Officer, Jim would’ve almost classed it as a success.
The Gelbesh, despite appearing as rather primitive with their distinct lack of technology, or housing, or clothing - not that Jim had taken to staring at the very beautiful and very naked blue skinned woman who’d come to escort them to their leader - were surprisingly intelligent and incredibly friendly.
Jim had immediately noticed from the variety of people he’d seen on their way through the woodlands that they were tactile and soft-spoken, and that they seemed to react to the vibes of the land; he remembered Spock telling him of their mild telepathy and strong empathy - apparently, they had markings on their hands that would change colour depending on the mood, like some kind of mood-ring, Jim had briefly chuckled - and although briefly concerned at the time about the idea of being surrounded by telepaths who were unknown in their alliances, Jim could now see that he had nothing to worry about.
When they had met with the leader of their planet - Bek; an old, sky-blue skinned male with ornate purple markings tattooed on his hands that glowed white when Jim shook his hand - Jim had felt completely at ease.
The people seemed more than hospitable, and when Bek exuberantly offered a small group of eager natives to accompany Spock and his Science team to an area of Greenland abundant in different species of flora that could provide interesting analysis, Jim felt even better.
Not having Spock within eye sight meant that there was much less chance of Jim losing his temper, and when the buzzing at the back of his skull - although somewhat insistent, like it was trying to keep as tight a leash on him as possible - calmed down to a barely perceptible throb, Jim made a mental note to keep Spock as far away as possible in future if it meant this stupid… stupid thing in his head would stop bothering him.
The rest of the afternoon had passed in a haze of music and cultural exchanges as Jim - without the aid of Spock, which made him smirk - managed to open up potential offers of future admission to the Federation, future possibilities of using the planet for Shore Leave, and somehow also managed to astound the Gelbesh with his knowledge and appreciation of the art and music they seemed to be so versed in.
It had certainly been one of the better missions that he’d taken part in since becoming Captain, and when Bek invited Jim and the rest of the Away team to a feast to mark the occasion, Jim certainly wasn’t going to turn it down.
His mellow had been harshed slightly when Spock and the irritating buzzing returned, Spock looking and sounding oddly tired and drained as he spoke with him about the species of flora he and his team had discovered that had highly potent medicinal properties, but it wasn’t enough to dampen his spirits.
Okay, so Spock still seemed strangely conflicted around him, his eyes black with what appeared to be a combination of anger and hunger, and he was definitely a lot snappier than usual, especially if someone looked at or touched him in any way - Jim was getting an awful lot of attention from the Gelbesh, but that wasn’t unusual Jim thought smugly - but as long as the Vulcan could still do his job, Jim wasn’t overly bothered.
It hadn’t been until the feast was nearly ended that things had started to turn sour. It wasn’t his fault that the young woman sitting beside him found him interesting, or that she was being incredibly tactile and flirtatious, and if she had started breathing against his neck, her voluptuous breasts in full display for him to admire, that wasn’t his fault either. He was only human after all.
It had been a while since he’d really been able to cut loose and have some fun - he vehemently refused to count his fight and sex with Spock, because he just didn’t, regardless of how perfect it had been - and when she began to run her fingers up his naked arm, whispering about the possibility of going somewhere slightly more quiet as the markings on her hand glowed a vibrant red, well, he’d have been an idiot to turn that down.
However, the moment he had stood and turned around, he’d come face to face with Spock. Spock wasn’t looking at his face though; his eyes were firmly locked on Jim’s hand, on the blue-skinned hand that was encased in Jim’s and the fingers that were tightly laced together, and for a split second, Jim could’ve almost sworn that he heard Spock’s heart drop to the floor, the sensation in his head suddenly turning cold and painful - like it had been broken - before Spock’s face hardened and he tore his eyes upwards to meet Jim’s.
“Whilst you have already explicitly requested that I am not to interfere in your activities or decisions for the duration of this exploration Captain, I cannot help but inform you that if you were to continue in your planned actions, you would be very much compromising the success of this mission, as well as potentially causing many diplomatic issues pertaining to the inclusion of Gelbeshka in the Federation.”
Jim felt his blood start to heat, and he was well aware that he was failing to reign in his rage; the markings on the Gelbesh’s hand had turned from red to jet black.
“And let me tell you Commander, that what I get up to within my private life doesn’t concern you in the slightest.”
Jim watched as Spock’s hand clenched into a fist beside him for a brief few seconds before he released it, letting out a rather forced hiss of breath as he leaned in closer to Jim.
“Captain, to engage in sexual activities during a diplomatic and scientific mission with a member of the planet’s race involved is not only highly illogical, but also highly reckless and against Starfleet regulations. As much as you claim that your private life is none of my concern, I am forced to tell you that if you consciously break regulations on this mission, regardless of its success, I will have to report you to the Admiralty.”
To say that Spock’s voice had turned icy was an understatement, and the air had become suffocatingly thick with sheer disgust, hatred and… betrayal? Before Jim could open his mouth and respond, Bek had approached, concern written all over his face as he glanced over Jim and Spock.
“Captain Kirk, I trust that there’s nothing wrong?” Bek had laid his hand softly on Jim’s shoulder, and when Spock’s glare had turned almost possessively dark, Jim felt his control snap.
Letting go of the woman’s hand, who looked almost relieved to leave as she scurried back towards the feast, he had tried to keep his voice as even as possible in order not to reveal his current overwhelming urge to beat the shit out of Spock.
“I can assure you that neither you nor your people have done anything wrong. I just need a few moments to discuss something with my First Officer, if there is somewhere that we can go that is more suitable?”
The wary look in Bek’s eyes suggested that he didn’t quite believe Jim, but he nodded his head before leading both men through a woodlands to a clear opening a short distance away from the gathering - the fact that Jim couldn’t hear the extreme noise from the feast meant that nobody was about to be able to overhear the inevitable explosion.
Jim waited until Bek had retreated out of sight before he rounded on Spock’s statue still body, giving him such a hard push that Spock almost ended up flat on the ground.
“Now, what in the blue fuck were you fucking playing at, huh?! You fucking stood there after I fucking told you to stay the hell away from me, after I gave you a direct fucking order, and got involved in something that didn’t concern you, and for what?! So you could satisfy your own Goddamn needs? So you could try to get one-up on me? I could have you fucking demoted for this! I could have you fucking knocked down a peg so damn fast that your head will spin, and this time I won’t even need a fucking reason! I don’t care what kind of fucking story you try to spin this time, but you have no fucking right to interfere in my Goddamn private life, Commander.”
Jim’s words were so thick with vitriol and fire that he actually saw Spock flinch, his face crumpling with a flood of emotions and his eyes so wide and dark that it if he was human, Jim almost felt like Spock was going to burst into tears if he had been anything but the stupid Vulcan he was.
As it was, the buzzing in his brain had become so icy, so dark and depressing that Jim was finding it almost impossible to do anything, and when he took a menacing step forward, feeling the naked waves of emotion emanating from Spock’s skin that seemed to almost perfectly mirror the atmosphere at the back of Jim’s skull, Jim felt his face twist in pure hatred and despise as he roughly pushed Spock up against one of the trees at the edge of the clearing.
“You absolute fucking son of a bitch, what the fuck have you done to me?!”
If it wasn’t for the fierce pounding of Spock’s heart in his stomach, Jim almost could’ve sworn that Spock wasn’t actually there. He looked almost in a trance, his eyes boring holes into Jim and his voice uneven and shot through with emotion that Spock could no longer control.
“I can smell her scent all over you.”
Jim felt like his skin was almost going to blister from the sudden rush of indescribable anger he felt towards Spock, and he couldn’t stop himself from pushing Spock back hard against the tree with such force that the tree shook.
Spock barely gave any reaction to the rough shove, but Jim could see Spock’s pupils dilate until they seemed to swallow up all the warmth in Spock’s eyes, an almost imperceptible growl rumbling in the Vulcan’s chest as he continued to repeat those words with such indignation, disgust and rejection that he sounded like a broken record.
Jim rolled his eyes, taking a deep breath before he gave Spock such a sharp, violently hard slap around the face that the reverberation seemed to ring through the air. Spock’s head snapped to the right, a bottle-green mark instantly becoming visible on his tinged cheek, and Jim gripped Spock’s chin tight, forcing him to look at Jim as he glared at the suddenly pissed off, yet strangely subdued and dejected, Vulcan in front of him.
“What the fuck have you done to my brain, you fucking pointy-eared bastard?! Because I fucking swear on Sam’s life, that if you don’t fucking stop it right fucking now, then I will make you regret the day you didn’t fucking die on that stupid God forsaken planet of yours!”
Spock’s eyes shone murderously with untempered anger, with heartbreak and depression, and beneath it all, a sense of sheer fear and terror. “I… I… I cannot consciously do that Captain, for that would mean putting your life at risk, a decision that I cannot willingly undertake.”
Spock’s voice sounded almost like he was dazed, yet there was a silent plea beneath it that Jim could hear. What that plea was, Jim didn’t really give a fucking shit, because all he knew was that he was mere seconds away from killing an endangered species, and fuck, that would be worth the stupid planet he got sent to for it.
“My life at risk? My fucking life at risk?! Your fucking life is at risk right now, because I am fucking ordering you to stop whatever the fuck it is you’re doing, and if you don’t, I am going to fucking rip your ears straight off your head!”
“No.”
Spock’s answer was immediate, full of desperation and begging as one of his hands tightly grasped Jim’s wrist, preventing him from moving away from him; Jim had never seen Vulcan’s allowing such wanton displays of emotion, and beneath the searing anger burning away at him, Jim couldn’t deny that he felt the slightest hint of concern over Spock’s mental state as that dull ache pulsed in his chest again, but that didn’t stop the red mist that descended over him as he forced Spock back further, tightening his grip on Spock’s chin as he leaned his forehead against Spock’s own.
With so much skin contact, it was impossible to ignore the physical outpouring of feelings that Spock couldn’t control, that was tearing him apart, but Jim wasn’t going to buckle. To stop would undermine his authority, and Spock needed to fucking understand that he was Captain now.
Despite the mental assault though from the strength of Spock’s emotions, Jim was more acutely aware of the soft, warm breaths that brushed against his lips, of the sudden pooling of heat in the bottom of his stomach, and the shiver of arousal that skated down his spine only served to piss him off even further.
“And why the fuck not, Spock? I demand you to tell me right now why the fuck you’re blatantly refusing my orders, ex Commander.”
Spock looked torn.
He was trying to turn his head away, to avoid Jim’s eyes, but the way that Jim had him surrounded made it impossible. He was trapped, and Jim knew it, but that still didn’t prepare Jim for Spock’s sudden wave of capitulated anger as he wound his free hand into Jim’s hair.
“Because you are mine.”
With strength 3 times more than Jim could withstand, Spock suddenly yanked his head forward, smashing their mouths together with such violence, such viciousness, that Jim was almost convinced Spock had broken his neck.
He could feel Spock desperately trying to rut against him, his teeth roughly dragging against Jim’s bottom lip as he sucked it into his mouth, and the sudden surge of power that Jim felt surge through him, that he felt the need to reassert as memories of this happening less than a week beforehand, meant that seconds later, Jim had Spock’s wrists pinned above his head against the bark, his hips grinding into Spock’s own with so much force that Spock’s back was being cut against the wood with the movements, and his mouth attacking Spock’s with just as much voracity and ravenous hunger that it was almost dizzying.
The buzzing in Jim’s head was now so intense it hurt, but it was no longer painful; as the seconds went on and the kiss became bloodier, more forceful and more frantic, it was becoming almost an overwhelming numbness that was threatening to overwhelm all of his senses.
He could feel himself growing hard against the inside of his uniform pants; he could feel Spock’s already solid erection rubbing his groin with every thrust against him, and when he heard Spock’s almost breathless keen, felt him moaning involuntarily into his mouth, Jim almost felt like his head was going to explode from the onslaught of helpless pleasure from Spock as he pushed his tongue into Spock’s mouth.
He never gave Spock any chance to try and take control; no, this time, Jim was going to prove to Spock that he was always going to be the dominant one.
Nothing was going to stop him from getting even with that Vulcan bastard as he clasped both of Spock’s wrists in one hand, immediately reaching down with his other to start groping Spock painfully hard through his pants as he continued to grind against him.
Except maybe some shitty timing.
The communicator on Jim’s wrist started bleeping, alerting Jim to the fact that someone from the Bridge was trying to contact him, and he tore his mouth away from Spock’s with a violent curse, his uneven breaths deep and harsh as he tried to slow down his hips and create some distance from Spock. After a couple of minutes to catch his calm his body down, during which he both pointedly ignored Spock’s look of frustrated anger and sadness and tried to stop himself from licking his lips like he really wanted to, he answered the comm, the very deliberate evenness of his voice hiding both his lust and anger at the situation.
Spock’s hands immediately latched onto Jim’s hips, his black, unshielded eyes almost begging with Jim not to stop; it almost reminded Jim of the look Spock had given him that night when he’d walked out of Spock’s quarters, but Jim didn’t give in to the pathetically pitiful look in his eyes.
Tearing himself out of Spock’s grip with a murderous glare, he quickly smoothed out his uniform shirt, mouthing at Spock with barely restrained malice to “sort himself out now, Goddammit,” before the familiar sensation of dematerialisation started to filter through the air and engulf them both.
Jim made sure he was at least 3 feet from Spock, his hand clenching into a fist whenever Spock looked like he was going to reach out to him, step closer, even speak to him, until eventually, Spock gave up, standing there in almost painfully numb silence as he stared at Jim.
The fear, the depression, the sadness in Spock’s eyes could all be seen clear as day before Spock barely forced them back down behind that Vulcan mask, and Jim couldn’t help but feel that uneasy, guilty pang as they were both beamed back up onto the ship.
Things had just become a whole lot worse.