This made me laugh so fuckin hard
the bathroom door was half-open, so i thought no one was using it, and i catch my gf standing legs spread on either side of the toilet -- DROPPING TURDS! wtf!? right as she's squeezing off a real long and heavy one, she says: "INCOMING!" and makes bomb-dropping noises. "captain! we're under attack! we've been hit! fire in the hole!"