Well now what..
I don't think I could ever describe this in person anytime in the near future just because its just so hard but I'll try once in writing for lj and that'll be it.
The family went to the beach on friday for the weekend. On Saturday we all went out to the beach and at about 4:30pm we had found a stretch of beach without many people anywhere near us. Sharon got out Granny's ashes and poured them onto the sand and into the waves that were coming up. There was a dense fog covering the water and the land like I have never seen at atlantic beach my entire life of going there. Some of the ashes blew off into the wind but most of them mixed in with the wet sand and the water until none of it was gone. Davida was holding my hand and said that Granny was the ocean now. Then the sun came out on our right and was shining through all the fog and making the surface of the water sparkle and glisten. It was truly a magnificant sight, the most beautiful I've ever seen in my life probably. It's amazing how that works out. Later when I saw the sunset I realized that Granny is out there too, she is everywhere. She is in the ocean, the sunset, the trees, the wind, and she is always there for us. We may not get to see her body anymore but we can still feel the wonderful feeling that made Granny who she was to us. That still exists and lives on in us.
But that doesn't make it any easier during the random times when you're doing something and you think about her smile or her laugh or the way she'd pinch you with her toes and at that point there isn't anything you or anyone can do... its just simply unbearable.
Tomorrow I go back to the cold hard truth of reality.
The family went to the beach on friday for the weekend. On Saturday we all went out to the beach and at about 4:30pm we had found a stretch of beach without many people anywhere near us. Sharon got out Granny's ashes and poured them onto the sand and into the waves that were coming up. There was a dense fog covering the water and the land like I have never seen at atlantic beach my entire life of going there. Some of the ashes blew off into the wind but most of them mixed in with the wet sand and the water until none of it was gone. Davida was holding my hand and said that Granny was the ocean now. Then the sun came out on our right and was shining through all the fog and making the surface of the water sparkle and glisten. It was truly a magnificant sight, the most beautiful I've ever seen in my life probably. It's amazing how that works out. Later when I saw the sunset I realized that Granny is out there too, she is everywhere. She is in the ocean, the sunset, the trees, the wind, and she is always there for us. We may not get to see her body anymore but we can still feel the wonderful feeling that made Granny who she was to us. That still exists and lives on in us.
But that doesn't make it any easier during the random times when you're doing something and you think about her smile or her laugh or the way she'd pinch you with her toes and at that point there isn't anything you or anyone can do... its just simply unbearable.
Tomorrow I go back to the cold hard truth of reality.