(no subject)
this year doesn't feel like christmas.
our traditionally spent christmas no longer exists.
it's just me, mom, and dad.
the tree is in a different spot than it usually is. the stockings are out of place too. my mom wanted a change. i don't like it.
she also wants to open all of the gifts tonight instead of the morning because we're leaving early to go spend the entire day with one of her old friends from madrid.
we never go places on christmas, or any holidays for that matter. we always stay at home and enjoy the day with our family. so the idea of spending christmas day with some huge family that i've never even met seems unappealing. i'd feel intrusive. and i'll more than likely feel anti-social. i don't know. i guess it doesn't matter. my good christmas memories have just created standards of how i'll enjoy the next.
on another note, i'm not happy here.
at all.
i think i may leave soon.
if only i didn't feel so stuck.
i miss my grandmother.
and it doesn't feel right without her presence.
especially this time of year.
our traditionally spent christmas no longer exists.
it's just me, mom, and dad.
the tree is in a different spot than it usually is. the stockings are out of place too. my mom wanted a change. i don't like it.
she also wants to open all of the gifts tonight instead of the morning because we're leaving early to go spend the entire day with one of her old friends from madrid.
we never go places on christmas, or any holidays for that matter. we always stay at home and enjoy the day with our family. so the idea of spending christmas day with some huge family that i've never even met seems unappealing. i'd feel intrusive. and i'll more than likely feel anti-social. i don't know. i guess it doesn't matter. my good christmas memories have just created standards of how i'll enjoy the next.
on another note, i'm not happy here.
at all.
i think i may leave soon.
if only i didn't feel so stuck.
i miss my grandmother.
and it doesn't feel right without her presence.
especially this time of year.