Apr 03, 2008 15:23
It must be a funny feeling to know you are going to die.
Of course, we all know that we will die eventually.
But to have a fatal wound or a terminal physical condition, where you just know that you'll be dead soon. You can feel your soul slipping away. You're in pain, in grief, and eventually you understand the only solution is death. You don't want to freak out, you just want to stay cool. Accept the fact that you are going to die, you are going to die now. Blood is seeping, organs are failing, your body is shutting down, its aborting.
You begin to look forward to death, to the ending of your pain. It will make you happy. At first you were scared, but now, now you can't wait. The pain is subsiding and you're prepared. Its time for last words if you are able. Give comfort to the living who will mourn you. You are not sad any more that you will die, only that others are in pain to see you go.
Death is an enemy. We battle hard. In the end though, you have to give up, you have to lay down and accept defeat. It's freeing in a way, but still disturbing. You squeeze your wound tightly, apply pressure, but the blood still fountains over your hands. It dries inbetween your fingers, you've been holding for so long. What's the point of holding on when you're going to die anyway?