I don’t seem to have what they have - (what I must somehow want)
Why does every little thing seem to bother me these days?
How do I allow myself to get so affected (jealousy maybe) over all these stupid little things? Like - for example, (god this is hard) - um - just seeing people smile about things that I have no part in. - That doesn’t make sense - grrr. Ok forget that example - like whenever I read, or hear something from a former friend, one of his friends, someone I wish I talked to, - basically people that I guess (intimidate me?) people that make me think - or remind me of things - people I want to know - people I would probably like to do things with (I could be very wrong - you never know if you will really get along or even really like a person until you try it - so yeah.) Like when I hear these people talk about things that sound good or interesting I feel left out - even though its really my fault.
I must find these people at least somewhat intimidating - or else I wouldn’t feel like these interactions were impossible to achieve the way I want them to. (though I would never know considering I never, ever, try.)
I feel the desire (or at least interest) in these people and/or what they say/do.
I become bothered and affected by what they do and/or say.
I think about these things - and the more I realize that I don’t have these relations/interactions/conversations/socializations/etc - the more I get depressed.
I don’t seem to have what they have - (what I must somehow want)
WHY CAN’T I FEEL LIKE THINGS WILL BE OKAY?
WHY DOES NO ONE SEEM TO BE THERE FOR OR UNDERSTAND ME?
HOW COME I CAN’T RELAX?
~ I bet you didn’t understand any of what I was trying to say up there~
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?
- There must be something wrong with my brain -
How do I allow myself to get so affected (jealousy maybe) over all these stupid little things? Like - for example, (god this is hard) - um - just seeing people smile about things that I have no part in. - That doesn’t make sense - grrr. Ok forget that example - like whenever I read, or hear something from a former friend, one of his friends, someone I wish I talked to, - basically people that I guess (intimidate me?) people that make me think - or remind me of things - people I want to know - people I would probably like to do things with (I could be very wrong - you never know if you will really get along or even really like a person until you try it - so yeah.) Like when I hear these people talk about things that sound good or interesting I feel left out - even though its really my fault.
I must find these people at least somewhat intimidating - or else I wouldn’t feel like these interactions were impossible to achieve the way I want them to. (though I would never know considering I never, ever, try.)
I feel the desire (or at least interest) in these people and/or what they say/do.
I become bothered and affected by what they do and/or say.
I think about these things - and the more I realize that I don’t have these relations/interactions/conversations/socializations/etc - the more I get depressed.
I don’t seem to have what they have - (what I must somehow want)
WHY CAN’T I FEEL LIKE THINGS WILL BE OKAY?
WHY DOES NO ONE SEEM TO BE THERE FOR OR UNDERSTAND ME?
HOW COME I CAN’T RELAX?
~ I bet you didn’t understand any of what I was trying to say up there~
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?
- There must be something wrong with my brain -