After Such A Spectacular Night...
This seems a bit backwards.
I've been wondering (mainly since yesterday) why I do such masochistic things.
It does nothing for me. And no I'm not referring to JUST cutting, sheesh.
I don't remember the last time I cut, which I s'pose is good.
Why the hell do I care so much?
Nothing here is worth it. Everyone's so brain washed into believing that the good stuff that surrounds them are the things they live for.
What if you were never introduced to the idea of friends, or a family or what 'love' was.
Then what would be keeping you on the planet? Hmmm?
-_-
I don't like feeling as if I'm alone when it comes to these feelings.
Like I don't think anything is real.
Yes. I still function the same way you're "supposed" to, each day.
That's because it's hard to rid myself of pure routines.
I wish I could change it. I don't want the world around me.
I'd start from scratch, create my own.
But that's the thing! THE ENTIRE WORLD IS MADE UP.
Like wtf. Why do you think you NEED school to get through life?
Because someone taught you that, so you don't know any different.
Society doesn't need to be ran by money, someone decided to make products cost money,
and now the entire world's gone money and power hungry.
If you didn't grow up in a world with money, you wouldn't have the idea in your mind that life is so much harder without money, especially if you don't "finish school"
It's all bullshit!
SOMEONE ELSE DECIDED THIS ALL FOR ME.
I don't appreciate that. Why couldn't I make my own decisions?
Like why not nurture me as I'm growing up, but don't put any ideas in my mind.
Ugh -_-
I still run normally each day, but it doesn't mean this shit isn't
driving my mind up the wall all the time.
Yeah, I try to be 'happy' because it's an emotion that's better than sadness.
But what really IS happiness? Without a dictionary definition, tell me what it is.
Most days I just feel like taking a crowbar to everything around me.
I just want to get out of here >.<
I don't even know what's left anymore, like for me.
What with the move coming and all, I feel like I have nothing left.
I'm going through pure denial.
The boxes, the interested buyers, the for sale sign, all of it hasn't convinced me.
D-E-N-i-A-L.
Life is one big vicious circle of suffering.
One day after another.
With a few feel-good moments in between.
I've been wondering (mainly since yesterday) why I do such masochistic things.
It does nothing for me. And no I'm not referring to JUST cutting, sheesh.
I don't remember the last time I cut, which I s'pose is good.
Why the hell do I care so much?
Nothing here is worth it. Everyone's so brain washed into believing that the good stuff that surrounds them are the things they live for.
What if you were never introduced to the idea of friends, or a family or what 'love' was.
Then what would be keeping you on the planet? Hmmm?
-_-
I don't like feeling as if I'm alone when it comes to these feelings.
Like I don't think anything is real.
Yes. I still function the same way you're "supposed" to, each day.
That's because it's hard to rid myself of pure routines.
I wish I could change it. I don't want the world around me.
I'd start from scratch, create my own.
But that's the thing! THE ENTIRE WORLD IS MADE UP.
Like wtf. Why do you think you NEED school to get through life?
Because someone taught you that, so you don't know any different.
Society doesn't need to be ran by money, someone decided to make products cost money,
and now the entire world's gone money and power hungry.
If you didn't grow up in a world with money, you wouldn't have the idea in your mind that life is so much harder without money, especially if you don't "finish school"
It's all bullshit!
SOMEONE ELSE DECIDED THIS ALL FOR ME.
I don't appreciate that. Why couldn't I make my own decisions?
Like why not nurture me as I'm growing up, but don't put any ideas in my mind.
Ugh -_-
I still run normally each day, but it doesn't mean this shit isn't
driving my mind up the wall all the time.
Yeah, I try to be 'happy' because it's an emotion that's better than sadness.
But what really IS happiness? Without a dictionary definition, tell me what it is.
Most days I just feel like taking a crowbar to everything around me.
I just want to get out of here >.<
I don't even know what's left anymore, like for me.
What with the move coming and all, I feel like I have nothing left.
I'm going through pure denial.
The boxes, the interested buyers, the for sale sign, all of it hasn't convinced me.
D-E-N-i-A-L.
Life is one big vicious circle of suffering.
One day after another.
With a few feel-good moments in between.