(no subject)
I got so wrapped up on venting, I forgot to write about another thing.
So, the past couple of nights I have had dreams with Matman in them. I have had a little crush on him for awhile now, and I most definitely wouldn't ever do anything with him (unless, for some reason, Jason and I aren't together anymore). The other night it was a bizarre dream where I was at work and all these weird things were happening - like the kitchen area flooding and Andrew Morgan feeling up Terra. What keeps sticking out in my mind, though, is me sitting at the bar with Mat and him kissing on my neck even though I told him not to. Kemper was sitting on the deck, and she saw us, of course. Some girl she was hanging out with came inside and said something to me, but I denied it and said, "What are you talking about?? I have a BOYFRIEND!" I don't remember anything after that.
Then last night I had a dream that was pretty long, but mostly what I remember is Mat and I making out on a couch in his house. I think Jason was there in another room sleeping. Mat started putting his fingers inside me, and I gave him crazy awesome head for a little bit, but he said, "No, I can't get laid here in this house," meaning, I think, that he didn't want his roomate (also a Jason) to hear or something. It was pretty damn intense.
Even though I am super happy with Jason (aside from the little things previously covered), I still am human and can't help being physically attracted to someone other than him. It also doesn't help much when I know that Mat likes me on some level, as well. I think mostly it's a physical thing for him, too. Sometimes I kind of miss him getting drunk at Sawmill because he always got pretty touchy with me, but I think in reality it's a good thing he doesn't because there were a few times when I found it hard to control myself. It's pretty hard to when you know you want someone and you know they want you, too; especially when you're both drunk.
Blah, now I'm extra horny. Sometimes I wish I was single, even though I know I know that would be a mistake in the long run because I know I'll never find a lover/partner as loving and caring and simply good (in all ways) as my best friend, Jason Freels.
So, the past couple of nights I have had dreams with Matman in them. I have had a little crush on him for awhile now, and I most definitely wouldn't ever do anything with him (unless, for some reason, Jason and I aren't together anymore). The other night it was a bizarre dream where I was at work and all these weird things were happening - like the kitchen area flooding and Andrew Morgan feeling up Terra. What keeps sticking out in my mind, though, is me sitting at the bar with Mat and him kissing on my neck even though I told him not to. Kemper was sitting on the deck, and she saw us, of course. Some girl she was hanging out with came inside and said something to me, but I denied it and said, "What are you talking about?? I have a BOYFRIEND!" I don't remember anything after that.
Then last night I had a dream that was pretty long, but mostly what I remember is Mat and I making out on a couch in his house. I think Jason was there in another room sleeping. Mat started putting his fingers inside me, and I gave him crazy awesome head for a little bit, but he said, "No, I can't get laid here in this house," meaning, I think, that he didn't want his roomate (also a Jason) to hear or something. It was pretty damn intense.
Even though I am super happy with Jason (aside from the little things previously covered), I still am human and can't help being physically attracted to someone other than him. It also doesn't help much when I know that Mat likes me on some level, as well. I think mostly it's a physical thing for him, too. Sometimes I kind of miss him getting drunk at Sawmill because he always got pretty touchy with me, but I think in reality it's a good thing he doesn't because there were a few times when I found it hard to control myself. It's pretty hard to when you know you want someone and you know they want you, too; especially when you're both drunk.
Blah, now I'm extra horny. Sometimes I wish I was single, even though I know I know that would be a mistake in the long run because I know I'll never find a lover/partner as loving and caring and simply good (in all ways) as my best friend, Jason Freels.