Doctors, Doctors...
So. I'm going home today. The biopsy went well, but I had to stay an extra night because my body freaked out with the anesthesia or something and I couldn't stop puking. Ew. The results could come by Sunday, but also as late as Tuesday. Some things they're testing for won't come until Thursday, so I've got a bit of waiting to do.
Semester exams are next week, too. I have no idea how I'm gonna be able to focus. And then there's the musical.... I haven't had any time whatsoever to even begin memorizing, and choreography starts monday. It sucks, but I'm probably gonna have to pull myself out. Until this frenzy of worry and hospital visits is over, there's a lot of stuff I'm gonna miss.
Jake visited me this morning.... Gave me flowers :) I was worried he would freak out or something and try to forget me... cause I'm sick, you know? But thanfully it's not the case and he's been really strong about all this.
It may be really stupid, but at this point the main thing I'm worried about is the possibilty of chemotherapy. Is it true that you can lose your hair??? Yes, I know, I'm shallow, but that's the kind of thing that makes me cry. Not the big things; never the big things. Always the stupid little stuff that terrifies me. I don't know. Mom's making me go back to school as soon as I'm out of here, too. She's been sort of insisting that I act like everything's normal, even when it's not. Yeah, I know she's worried, but none of this is exactly helping.
Oh, and guess what? As of yesterday, I can no longer feel anything below the waist, except for the points of pain on my legs I described before (of course, right?). The doctors said that's normal, since the growth on my spine is constricting the nerves. It's scary, and unexpected. How many seventeen year olds do you know that have had to get a CATHETER???? (and if you don't know what that is, or haven't had to experience one, you're lucky. look it up, though, I'm not explaining. Lazies) Getting the stupid IV taken out in about an hour- thank god- the thing was grossing me out. Seriously. All they wanted to do was make sure I was getting enough fluids- couldn't they have just made me drink a bunch of water instead?? Noooo. No, we must stab this poor girl repeatedly to find the fucking vein, then draw a pint's worth of blood for our various uses, and keep her tethered to a gigantic metal pole-thing that keeps beeping whenever she moves more than an inch.
I'll live. I expect so, anyway. This whole thing is weird and scary, but I need to stay strong.
Semester exams are next week, too. I have no idea how I'm gonna be able to focus. And then there's the musical.... I haven't had any time whatsoever to even begin memorizing, and choreography starts monday. It sucks, but I'm probably gonna have to pull myself out. Until this frenzy of worry and hospital visits is over, there's a lot of stuff I'm gonna miss.
Jake visited me this morning.... Gave me flowers :) I was worried he would freak out or something and try to forget me... cause I'm sick, you know? But thanfully it's not the case and he's been really strong about all this.
It may be really stupid, but at this point the main thing I'm worried about is the possibilty of chemotherapy. Is it true that you can lose your hair??? Yes, I know, I'm shallow, but that's the kind of thing that makes me cry. Not the big things; never the big things. Always the stupid little stuff that terrifies me. I don't know. Mom's making me go back to school as soon as I'm out of here, too. She's been sort of insisting that I act like everything's normal, even when it's not. Yeah, I know she's worried, but none of this is exactly helping.
Oh, and guess what? As of yesterday, I can no longer feel anything below the waist, except for the points of pain on my legs I described before (of course, right?). The doctors said that's normal, since the growth on my spine is constricting the nerves. It's scary, and unexpected. How many seventeen year olds do you know that have had to get a CATHETER???? (and if you don't know what that is, or haven't had to experience one, you're lucky. look it up, though, I'm not explaining. Lazies) Getting the stupid IV taken out in about an hour- thank god- the thing was grossing me out. Seriously. All they wanted to do was make sure I was getting enough fluids- couldn't they have just made me drink a bunch of water instead?? Noooo. No, we must stab this poor girl repeatedly to find the fucking vein, then draw a pint's worth of blood for our various uses, and keep her tethered to a gigantic metal pole-thing that keeps beeping whenever she moves more than an inch.
I'll live. I expect so, anyway. This whole thing is weird and scary, but I need to stay strong.