Confused
So, again it's a little while ago that I posted something about something ;p
To be honest, I feel so confused right now about a bunch of stuff.
Last week orso I had a verry good week...Did good stuff that was really neccesary (like cleaning ;p) had lots of "XTC" moods (not that I really do xtc but when im in such a mood im so excited and happy and hyper that it feels like I am :)).I had a couple of verry agressive moments, mostly when I was working (custmomers who bug and irritate me like hell) but also bout some stupid dude who added me as friend.Not even going to mention him further because I dont think that he's deserves that much credit.Also dindt cut for two weeks straight now and me and my therapist are verry proud about that :)
So...Guess everything is going fine and ok...But why do I feel...I dno, confused or something...Im affraid that when I go see the psychiatrist on monday he is going to think that i dont have BPS or something and that I dont need meds but I really think I do...I just worry and stress too much about it but, its me, i always worry and stress bout stupid things ;p
I just hope that they know that this is just a good period and not that im suddenly healed or anything... I mean, its not like I want to have this but I just dont want to think that im suddenly healed, go off therapy and everything and then next months i'll be cutting myself open again.
Guess that the biggest reasson that kept me so "up" last week is because Im really starting to feel something for someone... feels like I have a bond with someone again a little...and I know, its way too early for me to say such things and everything but it just feels good...only wish that I wasnt this insecure anymore and stop thinking that not all men are idiots.And just take a shot at it...Because, lets face it...worst thing that can happen is that it works out.... ;-)
*cuddles someone ;p*
To be honest, I feel so confused right now about a bunch of stuff.
Last week orso I had a verry good week...Did good stuff that was really neccesary (like cleaning ;p) had lots of "XTC" moods (not that I really do xtc but when im in such a mood im so excited and happy and hyper that it feels like I am :)).I had a couple of verry agressive moments, mostly when I was working (custmomers who bug and irritate me like hell) but also bout some stupid dude who added me as friend.Not even going to mention him further because I dont think that he's deserves that much credit.Also dindt cut for two weeks straight now and me and my therapist are verry proud about that :)
So...Guess everything is going fine and ok...But why do I feel...I dno, confused or something...Im affraid that when I go see the psychiatrist on monday he is going to think that i dont have BPS or something and that I dont need meds but I really think I do...I just worry and stress too much about it but, its me, i always worry and stress bout stupid things ;p
I just hope that they know that this is just a good period and not that im suddenly healed or anything... I mean, its not like I want to have this but I just dont want to think that im suddenly healed, go off therapy and everything and then next months i'll be cutting myself open again.
Guess that the biggest reasson that kept me so "up" last week is because Im really starting to feel something for someone... feels like I have a bond with someone again a little...and I know, its way too early for me to say such things and everything but it just feels good...only wish that I wasnt this insecure anymore and stop thinking that not all men are idiots.And just take a shot at it...Because, lets face it...worst thing that can happen is that it works out.... ;-)
*cuddles someone ;p*