What is wrong with the youth of today?
Okay so my entry title sucks but it's appealling to most. but i ain't really got nothing to say about the youth of today. no this is just an update but i needed a catchy catchphrase so people would actually start to read it and then maybe get interested(yeah right, who cares about what i have to say). but anywho!! so i'm living in Arkansas AGAIN!!! why do i keep doing this shit to myself? why do i always move back to areas that make me absolutely fuckin' batty? oh well, this time i managed to find me a job, and one that i actually like. no it ain't the best job in the world, but i like it. i also managed to track down one of my long last friends that i spent like 2 yrs trying to find and now live with him. i am still single though and probably will be until the end of eternity. i have yet to locate a female(or male for that matter) that can actually stand being around me long enough to actually hook up with me. i seriously doubt that i ever do. it's a fact of life that i've learned to live with. my only bitch about it is that i'd like to know what it is that i'm doing wrong that keeps driving all these people away from me. do i stink or something? oh my goddess what i wouldn't give to know what it is. maybe then i could fix it and i wouldn't be so fuckin' lonely all the time.
and another thing that sux really bad right now is it's been almost a year since i've seen my daughter now and i have no idea on how to even contact her. oh the things i would like to tell her right now. how badly i just want to tell her that love her and see her smile. hear her laugh again. god damn it i miss my baby girl. the hardest part about leaving indiana was knowing that i was leaving her behind(not that i really got to see her anyways). and now i hear that her mother is telling her that someone else is her dad and it breaks my heart. just the thought that my little girl is calling someone else daddy destroys me. and not being able to see her on top of that, it's amazing that i've managed to allow myself to continue living for this long.
but on a more cheery note...shit there ain't no cheery note this time. unfortunately my life is plagued with nothing but bitter sweet sorrow right now. i know i sound really fuckin' emo and that there are people out there that have it ten times worse than me but i'm focusing on myself for once. i'm putting me first for the first time in a long time. for once i want to be happy, i want to experience joy and laughter and smiles and them not all be fake. when is it going to be my turn to finally hear the words i love you and they actaully carry meaning...not just words being thrown around by some girl who has no idea of the power those eight letters can conjure up. when am i finally going to meet someone that can understand me and cope with me being me. i'm tired of finding girls that say they want to be with me for me but as soon as i give them the chance, they start trying to change me instantly. i am who i am and that is all i can ever be if i wish to remain true to myself. i am Steven L Lampher Jr.(more commonly known as Chewie), i am a freak, and that is all i will ever be. i will never be a prep, or a yuppie. i'll never be a redneck. i will never be anything other than myself and the sooner people realize this, the happier we will all be.
now if i could just a female(or male) that can understand this concept and accept it, i will be doing good. but in this day and age, finding someone with the kind of intellect that it requires to comprehend a matter such as that, and them still be interested in me, is going to be extremely difficult to do. honestly i doubt i will ever find someone that can satisfy my requirements.
and another thing that sux really bad right now is it's been almost a year since i've seen my daughter now and i have no idea on how to even contact her. oh the things i would like to tell her right now. how badly i just want to tell her that love her and see her smile. hear her laugh again. god damn it i miss my baby girl. the hardest part about leaving indiana was knowing that i was leaving her behind(not that i really got to see her anyways). and now i hear that her mother is telling her that someone else is her dad and it breaks my heart. just the thought that my little girl is calling someone else daddy destroys me. and not being able to see her on top of that, it's amazing that i've managed to allow myself to continue living for this long.
but on a more cheery note...shit there ain't no cheery note this time. unfortunately my life is plagued with nothing but bitter sweet sorrow right now. i know i sound really fuckin' emo and that there are people out there that have it ten times worse than me but i'm focusing on myself for once. i'm putting me first for the first time in a long time. for once i want to be happy, i want to experience joy and laughter and smiles and them not all be fake. when is it going to be my turn to finally hear the words i love you and they actaully carry meaning...not just words being thrown around by some girl who has no idea of the power those eight letters can conjure up. when am i finally going to meet someone that can understand me and cope with me being me. i'm tired of finding girls that say they want to be with me for me but as soon as i give them the chance, they start trying to change me instantly. i am who i am and that is all i can ever be if i wish to remain true to myself. i am Steven L Lampher Jr.(more commonly known as Chewie), i am a freak, and that is all i will ever be. i will never be a prep, or a yuppie. i'll never be a redneck. i will never be anything other than myself and the sooner people realize this, the happier we will all be.
now if i could just a female(or male) that can understand this concept and accept it, i will be doing good. but in this day and age, finding someone with the kind of intellect that it requires to comprehend a matter such as that, and them still be interested in me, is going to be extremely difficult to do. honestly i doubt i will ever find someone that can satisfy my requirements.