(no subject)
Sitting in my room last night, i finally realized why i am so obsessed with Asshole McAsshole. It really comes down to one thing; a thing that doesn't really make sense, and yet explains absolutely everything. That thing is:
he is just like my father.
It is a proven fact that in most cases, girls will be attracted to men who are like their own fathers. It is because that is what they know, and what they are familiar with. That would be the reason why i got bored with Lindsay; he was too... NICE for me. and not exciting enough at all. But when it comes to Mr. McAsshole, he is everything i want, and everything i want to (and should) avoid all at the same time. I've had a crush on him off and on for about three years. it has really reached a high point this time, and i hate it.
I SEE what a dick he is. I KNOW that he is terribly selfish and controlling. He's basically everything that i have lived with for the past 16 years and everything i fight to tear myself away from. My head does see that. but the rest of my body doesn't, and that's why i can't just ignore this. I wish it were that simple. You would think that if i see all this stuff; if i KNOW how bad he is for me; then i would just be able to turn the other way and not allow myself to be involved. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way for me. Somehow i am able to shut all the rude things he does out of my head and i constantly dwell on the nice things. and he can be a real sweetheart, when he wants to be. but this is the bottom line:
I am infatuated with him, and i believe that i would do anything for him. and i mean anything. That scares me.
I'm worried about myself.
he is just like my father.
It is a proven fact that in most cases, girls will be attracted to men who are like their own fathers. It is because that is what they know, and what they are familiar with. That would be the reason why i got bored with Lindsay; he was too... NICE for me. and not exciting enough at all. But when it comes to Mr. McAsshole, he is everything i want, and everything i want to (and should) avoid all at the same time. I've had a crush on him off and on for about three years. it has really reached a high point this time, and i hate it.
I SEE what a dick he is. I KNOW that he is terribly selfish and controlling. He's basically everything that i have lived with for the past 16 years and everything i fight to tear myself away from. My head does see that. but the rest of my body doesn't, and that's why i can't just ignore this. I wish it were that simple. You would think that if i see all this stuff; if i KNOW how bad he is for me; then i would just be able to turn the other way and not allow myself to be involved. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way for me. Somehow i am able to shut all the rude things he does out of my head and i constantly dwell on the nice things. and he can be a real sweetheart, when he wants to be. but this is the bottom line:
I am infatuated with him, and i believe that i would do anything for him. and i mean anything. That scares me.
I'm worried about myself.