Dubious Theory of the Day
Varnish fumes are currently getting to me, because I've just worked out that cats bred us to be the shape we are.
Humanity has its trigger points. Banging the flints together and menacing each other with the shards is probably one. But one of the big ones is when we went from being solely nomadic hunters and foragers to planting crops and developing agriculture.
And as part of that, we learnt to store grain. Things must have been pretty tight at first- no long-term stores or handed down wisdom about how to preserve food, and just to put the tin lid on it, the local rodent population probably couldn't believe its luck. So we could have easily given it up as a bad job and gone back to foraging, if it weren't for the intervention of the cats.
Suddenly the rodents weren't so damn smug.
And equally suddenly, agriculture was more or less viable. Humans could settle down in one place, and needed to keep records of precisely who grew what, and where and when it grew. Suddenly humanity needed the rudiments of writing and record-keeping, needed a brain that could process language and memory more efficiently.
And as cats watched with barely-concealed amusement, humans cobbled together several thousand years of brain evolution, and as a handy bonus centralised the vermin, and also evolved to be a little bit blind when it comes to table scraps.
So the next time you look at a show cat and think "yeah, we probably shouldn't have bred you in that shape," rest assured that the cat is looking back at you. Thinking exactly the same thing.
Humanity has its trigger points. Banging the flints together and menacing each other with the shards is probably one. But one of the big ones is when we went from being solely nomadic hunters and foragers to planting crops and developing agriculture.
And as part of that, we learnt to store grain. Things must have been pretty tight at first- no long-term stores or handed down wisdom about how to preserve food, and just to put the tin lid on it, the local rodent population probably couldn't believe its luck. So we could have easily given it up as a bad job and gone back to foraging, if it weren't for the intervention of the cats.
Suddenly the rodents weren't so damn smug.
And equally suddenly, agriculture was more or less viable. Humans could settle down in one place, and needed to keep records of precisely who grew what, and where and when it grew. Suddenly humanity needed the rudiments of writing and record-keeping, needed a brain that could process language and memory more efficiently.
And as cats watched with barely-concealed amusement, humans cobbled together several thousand years of brain evolution, and as a handy bonus centralised the vermin, and also evolved to be a little bit blind when it comes to table scraps.
So the next time you look at a show cat and think "yeah, we probably shouldn't have bred you in that shape," rest assured that the cat is looking back at you. Thinking exactly the same thing.