(no subject)
Im still alive, I swear! I've been rather anti-social for the last... year or more I guess. I have now lost touch with pretty much everyone who was important to me not all that long ago, and for that I feel like a horses ass. Im under a lot of stress right now with my senior project, a full academic schedule, and a part time job grading physics labs. This stress has been making me even more depressed and anti-social than I used to be.
I've been feeling lost lately. Things that I have been trying to put off thinking about are now forcing themselves into my mind. Im 23 years old. Im still in college after 5 years, and wont be graduating until next winter at the earliest. I have never had a relationship that lasted more than 100 days. I have to move off campus next year and have to find a place and roommates. I am totally at the mercy of my neurochemistry and cant focus without pharmaceutical aide. Im medicated to the point that the only things I seem to feel anymore are boredom and loneliness.
All these stresses and worries are driving me mad. When I get like this I always feel the need to make stuff, and my recent addiction to Steampunk is not helping. Christ I wish I had access to a machine shop. I keep seeing things that I want for sale at two or three times what it would cost for me to make it myself if only I had a mill and a lathe. My doctor tried to get me knitting to help with these urges, but teaching myself out of books and a few online videos didn't work out very well. Once I have my own semi-permanent place Im going to buy some tools and get building.
Anyways, this has started to ramble a bit. I should go.
I've been feeling lost lately. Things that I have been trying to put off thinking about are now forcing themselves into my mind. Im 23 years old. Im still in college after 5 years, and wont be graduating until next winter at the earliest. I have never had a relationship that lasted more than 100 days. I have to move off campus next year and have to find a place and roommates. I am totally at the mercy of my neurochemistry and cant focus without pharmaceutical aide. Im medicated to the point that the only things I seem to feel anymore are boredom and loneliness.
All these stresses and worries are driving me mad. When I get like this I always feel the need to make stuff, and my recent addiction to Steampunk is not helping. Christ I wish I had access to a machine shop. I keep seeing things that I want for sale at two or three times what it would cost for me to make it myself if only I had a mill and a lathe. My doctor tried to get me knitting to help with these urges, but teaching myself out of books and a few online videos didn't work out very well. Once I have my own semi-permanent place Im going to buy some tools and get building.
Anyways, this has started to ramble a bit. I should go.