changes

[enderlene]

my paternal grandmother passed away a couple hours ago... i have no idea how to deal with things like this.. apparently thinking of every little memory i've had of her doesn't help with the crying. she suffered three strokes the most recent one, she had pneumonia as well, so it's not like it was a surprise that she's gone, but i still can't believe it actually happened. i just have so many regrets. i wished i reached out more, and showed her much more love than i gave her. i wish i saw her more often, even if she is in the philippines. and just thinking of my grandpa breaks my heart. i remember him telling me stories about when he first saw my grandmother. unlike my other grandparents, they show each other so much affection and aren't ashamed of it because of their age. and for a long long time they tackled everything together, and now...

this is where my faith kicks in. i truly believe she is in a better place, and that her suffering has ended.