The darkness holds no faces
Every night it's another girl in another town. I guess that I'm trying to find someone who can match you, who is better than you. On some nights I do find them, but then i wake up and they're gone, sure to be forgotten sometime during during the day.
For some reason she wanted to see me tonight. She called, her voice holding no hint of the fact that she was two months late. She sounded as if she were simply calling me back the next day like she had promised. I took her to dinner, also disregarding the fact that she was two months late. Dinner somehow always seems to lead us back up to my room. And we stand there, everything just seems to fit right. We are the first and the last pieces of the puzzle coming together to make a whole. This is the start and the end. I remember the first time...it didn't feel like this.
I wake up to find the imprint of your body sleeping next to me and a note reading "Meet me for lunch" where your head should be. The side of the bed smells of your sweat and perfume, I never want to leave that smell, but the fact that your body does not accompany it gets me out of bed, into my clothes, into my car, and into the restaurant where you are patiently waiting.
When I sit down across from her I know exactly what is coming. I knew what was coming the moment I woke up to find the piece of paper on her pillow. We are sitting in a booth next to a window covered with green blinds blocking out the sunlight. Before she says a word I want to plea for her to stay with me. I want to tell her that I would let her eat my heart if that would mean that she would get a taste of what I feel for her, but I don't. I let her start the conversation.
"Ender you have to understand that doing this to you is not a choice for me."
"Yes it is."
"No, it's not. Here, look at these blinds. Do you see the way that the different sections are different shades of green depending on how the light hits them. Ender, I'm one of those sections, I can't help it that the sun has hit me in such a way that I simply can't love you, but understand that it's not my fault."
"You know what the difference is between you and that blind? The difference is that you have the power to choose how you change, how you let that light hitting you affect your color. Don't even try to tell me that you can't love me simply because of the events that have lead your life to this point."
"That's what I'm telling you...I'm sorry."
There is a hand leading me up some stairs. I'm not quite sure who she is, or exactly where we are. We are in a room now, engulfed in darkness. For a while I can pretend that she's you because the darkenss holds no faces, but when I feel her skin I snap back to reality. It's not as soft as yours. No, she is not you, she might be as good, but she isn't you. And much like the girls of my dreams, when I wake up tomorrow morning, she won't exist anymore.
For some reason she wanted to see me tonight. She called, her voice holding no hint of the fact that she was two months late. She sounded as if she were simply calling me back the next day like she had promised. I took her to dinner, also disregarding the fact that she was two months late. Dinner somehow always seems to lead us back up to my room. And we stand there, everything just seems to fit right. We are the first and the last pieces of the puzzle coming together to make a whole. This is the start and the end. I remember the first time...it didn't feel like this.
I wake up to find the imprint of your body sleeping next to me and a note reading "Meet me for lunch" where your head should be. The side of the bed smells of your sweat and perfume, I never want to leave that smell, but the fact that your body does not accompany it gets me out of bed, into my clothes, into my car, and into the restaurant where you are patiently waiting.
When I sit down across from her I know exactly what is coming. I knew what was coming the moment I woke up to find the piece of paper on her pillow. We are sitting in a booth next to a window covered with green blinds blocking out the sunlight. Before she says a word I want to plea for her to stay with me. I want to tell her that I would let her eat my heart if that would mean that she would get a taste of what I feel for her, but I don't. I let her start the conversation.
"Ender you have to understand that doing this to you is not a choice for me."
"Yes it is."
"No, it's not. Here, look at these blinds. Do you see the way that the different sections are different shades of green depending on how the light hits them. Ender, I'm one of those sections, I can't help it that the sun has hit me in such a way that I simply can't love you, but understand that it's not my fault."
"You know what the difference is between you and that blind? The difference is that you have the power to choose how you change, how you let that light hitting you affect your color. Don't even try to tell me that you can't love me simply because of the events that have lead your life to this point."
"That's what I'm telling you...I'm sorry."
There is a hand leading me up some stairs. I'm not quite sure who she is, or exactly where we are. We are in a room now, engulfed in darkness. For a while I can pretend that she's you because the darkenss holds no faces, but when I feel her skin I snap back to reality. It's not as soft as yours. No, she is not you, she might be as good, but she isn't you. And much like the girls of my dreams, when I wake up tomorrow morning, she won't exist anymore.