Another Lame Am Entry?
MOTHER FUCKER.
I just bit my lip (the one that's already been recently been cut up), and it hurts, A LOT.
And it's way to damn cold in my house.
And there's way to many school related things to be worrying about atm..
Yet, I still feel incredibly happy.
Lately, everything's just felt good. The things I know for sure, and those that I don't..It all just feels good. I feel good.
This past school week's been nothing short of long, with a MUCH longer week ahead of me.
I found out I have a 79% in chem, which'll be going even higher up be the time I go into exams..So hopefully I can finish that class with in between a 82-85%? (I need to start studying for that damn exam).
In bio..I think I've got an 85%+ in that class? Or I should have something close to that..Especially with how good I've done recently..But I'm really scared over the upcoming exam. It should, theoretically, be easy..But we've had to cover 3 out of 5 modules in the past..2-3 weeks, so 3/5ths of the exam is going to be shit I haven't properly learned yet.. (So I REALLY need to study for that exam)
In algebra I found out that I did pretty poorly on the 7th test, because I don't write my steps properly ffs :(. So I've got an alg test monday that can cancel out my 7th test..So I really need to study for that, and I need to ace the alg exam to get around an 88%+ in that class.
French..Is just weird. My marks are getting better, but that class still doesn't count towards university. I've tried a little harder..But not for a good grade, but because I felt kinda bad telling that teacher that his class was pointless for me..Especially since I do like him as a teacher.. But that song thing is going to kill me because of me needing to study for exams at the same time.
Breath in and out ^_^.
All I have is five more days of really worrying, and then I just need to study for my alg exam..And then school's officially done for me..on the 29th? God..I'm counting down the days, as they take forever to pass.
How's everything not school related been though? Well, in comparison, anything..Erm..Almost anything, would seem better then my school life, but even if my school life was good, the rest of my life would still be trumping it.
Lately everything's just been clicking. Friends, love, even my family (well..Most of them) have been working out pretty well.
It just feels like my family's becoming a lot closer, as my mom pushes herself further away. The divorce was a really good thing for us, but bad for her. She wanted me and my sis to come over tonight, but then my chem wouldn't have been finished. My mom's pretty alone right now, and I feel really bad for her, because that's one thing I've been able to relate to..But since she's been gone, my family's slowly been becoming more and more peaceful. In the more recent days I've also just really been able to joke around with my dad, and I'm slowly starting to see him smile more and more..And that makes me happy.
With my friends, well..The one's I've got have been treating me great. I've gotten some good hang out time in with them, and even managed to hang out with Ste, for once :P. Suffice to say, without them, I'd be tons more fucked up then I could ever imagine, and it's because of them that I've been able to make it through some of the harder times, recently, but also before.
And as far as love goes...Well, it's probably one of the scariest things I've ever felt, and I'm at the point where I'm totally defenseless. Everything I've been through..And everything I'm willing to go through. I could only do it for you. You...do something to me. Something nobody else has ever done. You're not my first love..But you should know by now that the other isn't even comparable to you. You make me happy in a way that I nobody else ever has. You give me hope when all seems lost. You're there for me, especially when I don't want you to be, and I appreciate it. You keep me up late talking about some of the lamest things, like Ottawa :/, though, if I could I'd trade the latter if I meant I could fall asleep next to you. You can hurt me more then any other person, and you know it, so you try extra hard to avoid it. Whatever you end up doing, whenever you'll end up doing it, I just want you to know that you're more then worth the wait..and even if at times I've made it seem like you've done more harm then good, well, I don't know how accurate those times could have been, since it feels like all you've done to for me is good.
I just want to let you know how much I love you.
To bad you'll never read any of this :/.
Gah though...Love really is one hell of a ride. With incredible highs, and lots of lows, and a lot of loves..Especially great loves, end in tragedy. However, every single ride is worth it, and if you manage to even start the car up, then you're already luckier then a lot of people.
I just used a driving analogy for love though, so I think that's a sign that I'm..Tired? Definitely. So..I'm going to go *glance* over my algebra book, and then proceed to crashing in my bed.
Wish me luck with these next five days..
And if you could, slow time down enough for me to double the amount of time I've got to work..But more importantly..Sleep.
Night ^_^.
I just bit my lip (the one that's already been recently been cut up), and it hurts, A LOT.
And it's way to damn cold in my house.
And there's way to many school related things to be worrying about atm..
Yet, I still feel incredibly happy.
Lately, everything's just felt good. The things I know for sure, and those that I don't..It all just feels good. I feel good.
This past school week's been nothing short of long, with a MUCH longer week ahead of me.
I found out I have a 79% in chem, which'll be going even higher up be the time I go into exams..So hopefully I can finish that class with in between a 82-85%? (I need to start studying for that damn exam).
In bio..I think I've got an 85%+ in that class? Or I should have something close to that..Especially with how good I've done recently..But I'm really scared over the upcoming exam. It should, theoretically, be easy..But we've had to cover 3 out of 5 modules in the past..2-3 weeks, so 3/5ths of the exam is going to be shit I haven't properly learned yet.. (So I REALLY need to study for that exam)
In algebra I found out that I did pretty poorly on the 7th test, because I don't write my steps properly ffs :(. So I've got an alg test monday that can cancel out my 7th test..So I really need to study for that, and I need to ace the alg exam to get around an 88%+ in that class.
French..Is just weird. My marks are getting better, but that class still doesn't count towards university. I've tried a little harder..But not for a good grade, but because I felt kinda bad telling that teacher that his class was pointless for me..Especially since I do like him as a teacher.. But that song thing is going to kill me because of me needing to study for exams at the same time.
Breath in and out ^_^.
All I have is five more days of really worrying, and then I just need to study for my alg exam..And then school's officially done for me..on the 29th? God..I'm counting down the days, as they take forever to pass.
How's everything not school related been though? Well, in comparison, anything..Erm..Almost anything, would seem better then my school life, but even if my school life was good, the rest of my life would still be trumping it.
Lately everything's just been clicking. Friends, love, even my family (well..Most of them) have been working out pretty well.
It just feels like my family's becoming a lot closer, as my mom pushes herself further away. The divorce was a really good thing for us, but bad for her. She wanted me and my sis to come over tonight, but then my chem wouldn't have been finished. My mom's pretty alone right now, and I feel really bad for her, because that's one thing I've been able to relate to..But since she's been gone, my family's slowly been becoming more and more peaceful. In the more recent days I've also just really been able to joke around with my dad, and I'm slowly starting to see him smile more and more..And that makes me happy.
With my friends, well..The one's I've got have been treating me great. I've gotten some good hang out time in with them, and even managed to hang out with Ste, for once :P. Suffice to say, without them, I'd be tons more fucked up then I could ever imagine, and it's because of them that I've been able to make it through some of the harder times, recently, but also before.
And as far as love goes...Well, it's probably one of the scariest things I've ever felt, and I'm at the point where I'm totally defenseless. Everything I've been through..And everything I'm willing to go through. I could only do it for you. You...do something to me. Something nobody else has ever done. You're not my first love..But you should know by now that the other isn't even comparable to you. You make me happy in a way that I nobody else ever has. You give me hope when all seems lost. You're there for me, especially when I don't want you to be, and I appreciate it. You keep me up late talking about some of the lamest things, like Ottawa :/, though, if I could I'd trade the latter if I meant I could fall asleep next to you. You can hurt me more then any other person, and you know it, so you try extra hard to avoid it. Whatever you end up doing, whenever you'll end up doing it, I just want you to know that you're more then worth the wait..and even if at times I've made it seem like you've done more harm then good, well, I don't know how accurate those times could have been, since it feels like all you've done to for me is good.
I just want to let you know how much I love you.
To bad you'll never read any of this :/.
Gah though...Love really is one hell of a ride. With incredible highs, and lots of lows, and a lot of loves..Especially great loves, end in tragedy. However, every single ride is worth it, and if you manage to even start the car up, then you're already luckier then a lot of people.
I just used a driving analogy for love though, so I think that's a sign that I'm..Tired? Definitely. So..I'm going to go *glance* over my algebra book, and then proceed to crashing in my bed.
Wish me luck with these next five days..
And if you could, slow time down enough for me to double the amount of time I've got to work..But more importantly..Sleep.
Night ^_^.