(no subject)
I did something tonight I never thought I would do...something I don't think anyone would have predicted out of me. But let's put it this way, worst event in the history of my life. I can't even begin to explain what happened and how I felt afterwards. The past two hours have been the most agonizing I can ever remember. Jesus, I don't ever want anything like that to happen ever again...I guess it wasn't supposed to be like that. I kept hearing "I've never heard of anything like this happening to anyone before", "is he asthmatic?", "maybe it was just too strong", "he must have been too scared to begin with", etc.
At first I felt nothing, just irritated by the taste in the back of my throat. Then everything began to slow down, seconds felt like minutes, any movements seemed to go on forever, I heard things before they happened, the world dissappeared except for me curled up into a ball the sofa. I could heard voices from all my friends around me who weren't there. An empty ocean surrounded me and reality no longer existed. No job, no apartment, none of the people I loved and cared about, none of the responsiblity of being an adult, just and endless desert.
I felt more fear tonight than I ever have before. I pieced together the moment myself, my clothes, the couch, the floor, the walls, the furniture, my friends, the streets outside, the cars, colors, time, and became scared of it all. I touched my joints over and over, focused on objects around the room and each item was going to hurt me. I wanted to break everything, anything too close to me I wanted to smash. I pushed the coffee table away while eyeing the mirror above my head. I pulled the mirror off the wall, placed it on the floor and pushed it away. I wanted this to fade away, and I could have sworn a week had passed.
I don't know why this happened, but getting Stoned is not for Steve Grant.
At first I felt nothing, just irritated by the taste in the back of my throat. Then everything began to slow down, seconds felt like minutes, any movements seemed to go on forever, I heard things before they happened, the world dissappeared except for me curled up into a ball the sofa. I could heard voices from all my friends around me who weren't there. An empty ocean surrounded me and reality no longer existed. No job, no apartment, none of the people I loved and cared about, none of the responsiblity of being an adult, just and endless desert.
I felt more fear tonight than I ever have before. I pieced together the moment myself, my clothes, the couch, the floor, the walls, the furniture, my friends, the streets outside, the cars, colors, time, and became scared of it all. I touched my joints over and over, focused on objects around the room and each item was going to hurt me. I wanted to break everything, anything too close to me I wanted to smash. I pushed the coffee table away while eyeing the mirror above my head. I pulled the mirror off the wall, placed it on the floor and pushed it away. I wanted this to fade away, and I could have sworn a week had passed.
I don't know why this happened, but getting Stoned is not for Steve Grant.