(no subject)
So I tried the social butterfly thing and it didn't work after all. I went to a few parties or whatever and more people say hello to me, but I'm not there to respond back. I'm possessed to wave, tilt my head, squint my eyes, smile... I feel like I have someone's hand shoved up my ass, pulling strings to make me yammer on about who's dating who and where I got my purse (the mall). I am fake. But for reasons that are entirely unclear to me, I like this. People think I'm nice or something! They say that I'm a good worker, with great customer service with a penchant for making people comfortable.
I am uncomfortable making people comfortable.
You know how people examine eggs in their cartons before buying them? One time I forgot to and I discovered one was broken when I got home. The following shopping trip I examined the eggs carefully to make sure they were good, but I left them alone in the refrigerator for too long and they rotted. The last shopping trip I examined the eggs carefully and made a personal commitment to cook them before the expiration date. When I examined them, I had no idea what to look for to determine what was a good egg or a bad egg-- I only pretended to know. And I feared the expiration date on the carton.
I wish I knew how to look for good eggs.
I am uncomfortable making people comfortable.
You know how people examine eggs in their cartons before buying them? One time I forgot to and I discovered one was broken when I got home. The following shopping trip I examined the eggs carefully to make sure they were good, but I left them alone in the refrigerator for too long and they rotted. The last shopping trip I examined the eggs carefully and made a personal commitment to cook them before the expiration date. When I examined them, I had no idea what to look for to determine what was a good egg or a bad egg-- I only pretended to know. And I feared the expiration date on the carton.
I wish I knew how to look for good eggs.