FNJOVNJOck...that is exactly how i feel
Fuck...Fuck...FUCK. God Damn this god forsaken brain that I have that must constantly keep memories that it tries so hard to delete. I'm sorry I ever doubted you, I'm sorry I ever questioned your motives, your abilities, your religion, your personality, your life in general. I feel like shit everyday that I think about you. Not because of you just the way that I feel about you and the fact that I can't have you. I am most deeply sorry for what pain I have caused you and the fact that you had ever met me. If you have any more memories left in your mind about me, I won't be offended at all if you get rid of them. The next time I see you and you go "Who are you?" I won't feel anger towards your soul. I will not feel anguish, depressed, suicidal, and I will most definitely not become over exuberant that you ever took those 3 seconds to ask me that question. It’s funny because it all started with that one question..."Who are you?”. Fate is a cruel irony. May the gods bless you with eternal pride, joy, and happiness...I don't know what I'm going to do now, I'm not sure at all. I could die today and you wouldn't even know, not sure if you would care. I'm sure that you don't know that I went though I suicidal period in my life but I did. I slit my wrist I used to not eat, see if I could die from starvation. I tried to jump off buildings to try to kill myself for what I have done to you. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK for eternity. rnhjopupvtyyuuinibvfyuutyfhsygfjlykhgv;564f56h4aasdf53erh846+erh.If I had any human cells within my body I would be crying fountain fills of tears every second, but I guess I'm not fully human either...ha...the reason you hate me so much seems somewhat obvious now, but ... I wish that it didn't turnout that way. I wish that I didn't create half of the mistakes that I made, I wish that I didn't create a monster within myself, I wish that I never created that alter personality, I wish that I didn't make any of them. I must apologize to a lot of people now. I will do it in the order of people and their importance to me.
Derrick-Deep secret I guess now you know. I try not to keep things from people that I care about, but I thought that this would be better if it was kept under the rug. I'm sorry.
Angela-Again I don't like to keep things from people I care about. I just didn't want you to worry about me. I...I think that I am the most sorry to you because I don't want you to turn out like the person I was talking about in the top paragraph. Please don't hate me...I love you.
Aimee-I seem to be most afraid of you hating me. Something about the look you give me whenever I do anything can make my change my mind, make me laugh, cry, or just plainly make my hate myself for making you sad. What do ya know I'm crying, there are people all around me and I'm crying as if I was a year old. Damn it, please don't hate me.
William-Don't let every last thing bother you in this life, it will just cause serious problems. I know better than anyone. You will always have a friend in me. But just for advice, don't push others into that area. You were right stop pushing, you are over the edge and you are about to get a boulder shoved on you, but more people than you think.
Mary-You got mad at me when I simply said that I was leaving the group and you went a cried. I'm afraid of what you will do. Please don't kill yourself, you mean more to me that what you think.
TJ-You are on the bottom of the list simply because I have never really liked you. I don't like people who can't comprehend simply things like people's feelings I think it was just the way you were raised though. But in conjunction with this post. I just want you to know that I do not like you like that. I fear every time you around me because I think that you are going to do something perverted. Which normally I wouldn't mind but you being bi and all, so it freaks me out a little, a lot actually.
Please no one hate me. I don't need that right now. No one does.
My alter ego...egos...are shadows that everyone can see. I think that you guy have seen me that most truthful in these last five minutes that you have ever seen me. I have so many; I create them to make people like me. I think my biggest fear would truly be to not have friends. I've been though it once, I don't want it again. That might be why I tried to kill myself, because I didn't want to be alone. I’m sorry fro not telling you all this but I assure that I will not do it again. NEVER NEVER AGAIN. I have friends now, I have people I can go to for help, I have people that care for me and love me. I don't want them to disappear just because of something that happened years ago. 2 years ago to be exact...and just a few days ago...wow its been that long already.
Derrick-Deep secret I guess now you know. I try not to keep things from people that I care about, but I thought that this would be better if it was kept under the rug. I'm sorry.
Angela-Again I don't like to keep things from people I care about. I just didn't want you to worry about me. I...I think that I am the most sorry to you because I don't want you to turn out like the person I was talking about in the top paragraph. Please don't hate me...I love you.
Aimee-I seem to be most afraid of you hating me. Something about the look you give me whenever I do anything can make my change my mind, make me laugh, cry, or just plainly make my hate myself for making you sad. What do ya know I'm crying, there are people all around me and I'm crying as if I was a year old. Damn it, please don't hate me.
William-Don't let every last thing bother you in this life, it will just cause serious problems. I know better than anyone. You will always have a friend in me. But just for advice, don't push others into that area. You were right stop pushing, you are over the edge and you are about to get a boulder shoved on you, but more people than you think.
Mary-You got mad at me when I simply said that I was leaving the group and you went a cried. I'm afraid of what you will do. Please don't kill yourself, you mean more to me that what you think.
TJ-You are on the bottom of the list simply because I have never really liked you. I don't like people who can't comprehend simply things like people's feelings I think it was just the way you were raised though. But in conjunction with this post. I just want you to know that I do not like you like that. I fear every time you around me because I think that you are going to do something perverted. Which normally I wouldn't mind but you being bi and all, so it freaks me out a little, a lot actually.
Please no one hate me. I don't need that right now. No one does.
My alter ego...egos...are shadows that everyone can see. I think that you guy have seen me that most truthful in these last five minutes that you have ever seen me. I have so many; I create them to make people like me. I think my biggest fear would truly be to not have friends. I've been though it once, I don't want it again. That might be why I tried to kill myself, because I didn't want to be alone. I’m sorry fro not telling you all this but I assure that I will not do it again. NEVER NEVER AGAIN. I have friends now, I have people I can go to for help, I have people that care for me and love me. I don't want them to disappear just because of something that happened years ago. 2 years ago to be exact...and just a few days ago...wow its been that long already.