Back again
Okay I know it has been a damn month or more since I was back here but I have just been so damn pissed I didn't want to write. That was probably a major error in my part cause I feel so much better when I put my thoughts down. Anyway I feel like I am losing control of my life. Here I am a damn adult and everyone in my family tries to tell me what I should or should not be doing. I'm so sick and tired of all the crap I could scream! Finally after years and years of floundering around I have found something I enjoy doing and am good at. Yes people it gives me self esteem which has been so so lacking in my world from the time I was a little kid and could never measure up to one thing my sister did and could never be good enough in my families eyes for anything. I guess you could call it a self fullfilling prophecy. Like my new friend Neo says if you expect something to happen it probably will.
Oh yeah talking about that I'm feeling ultra sad. I thought I had made a real honest to goodness friend that I could talk to about just about anything and he could talk to me but for some reason the kid blocks me on MSN and just deletes every letter I send him. I feel helpless in this situation and lost. I try to forget all about him I do fine during the day but when I wake up in the morning I find myself thinking about something I want to tell him and then I remember Kail won't even communicate with me and it starts of my whole day rotten. Yeah I know I should just be grateful for the friends I do have I really do cherish Chris, Mich , Todd , Manu and Isaac although I still find myself really missing Kail. I'm sorry but it does hurt. Hey you notice something ? All my best friends on the net are guys. I guess this is not new to me it was like that in college also when i hung out with all the guys.
Ah but in real life I do have special friends that are girls. I adore my friend Debbie I guess you would say that other than my hubby or somedays more so she is the most important person in my life. I see very little of Robin also but I certainly enjoy every moment I get to spend with her.
Ah now a little bit of life. I still have yet to plan the family cruise for the spring break. I sure do hope it isn't too late I really really need that vacation and I know the kids and hubby do also.
Oh yeah talking about that I'm feeling ultra sad. I thought I had made a real honest to goodness friend that I could talk to about just about anything and he could talk to me but for some reason the kid blocks me on MSN and just deletes every letter I send him. I feel helpless in this situation and lost. I try to forget all about him I do fine during the day but when I wake up in the morning I find myself thinking about something I want to tell him and then I remember Kail won't even communicate with me and it starts of my whole day rotten. Yeah I know I should just be grateful for the friends I do have I really do cherish Chris, Mich , Todd , Manu and Isaac although I still find myself really missing Kail. I'm sorry but it does hurt. Hey you notice something ? All my best friends on the net are guys. I guess this is not new to me it was like that in college also when i hung out with all the guys.
Ah but in real life I do have special friends that are girls. I adore my friend Debbie I guess you would say that other than my hubby or somedays more so she is the most important person in my life. I see very little of Robin also but I certainly enjoy every moment I get to spend with her.
Ah now a little bit of life. I still have yet to plan the family cruise for the spring break. I sure do hope it isn't too late I really really need that vacation and I know the kids and hubby do also.