Just in the mood

May 16, 2010 20:30

Sitting here waiting for my X to bring my daughter home from her grandma's house. It still feels strange being here all by myself. I miss my kids. Sure I knew the boys would grow up have their own lives but this hardly ever seeing them and then having my X have the nerve to tell me I have no business being in their lives and being concerned about how he makes them feel low priority in his life . Damn he spends a fortune on his fiance and the boys? The least he possibly can. Those poor kids are going to be in debt for the rest of their lives to pay for their college education while he plans trips to Israel, buys expensive rings and things for his Fiancee. At least I know I gave my son $5000 toward a car. My other son a notebook computer before I planned any vacations or expensive items for myself. My x though can't say that. He doesn't have a clue how to not be totally selfish. I cant help wondering what will happen when his fiancee finds out who he really is and sees all the money he was spending and all the vacation time was all an act. Wonder if she will still love that tight wad hehe.

Okay I admit it I'm a bit bitter. I find it so hard to understand what I was thinking spending so many years with him. i guess having been with him since age 17 I just didn't think I deserved better. Do I have regrets? YOU BET! But also I would never give up what that relationship gave me 3 of the best kids in the world. Two that are already adults and on their way to being successful in life and the other one of the sweetest and most caring little girl in the world.

In that I am a very lucky and grateful woman.

present, children, past, life

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