New Year's... Concepts
So, I don't really have new year's resolutions... I have new year's concepts that I want to uphold for the year. Or maybe new year's lessons that I want to learn would be more correct. In any case, the ones I have for this year are:
1)Forgiveness: Normally forgiving people is not an issue for me. I don't tend to hold grudges and I bounce back quickly. However, this year I found that by not standing up for myself to people when I needed to stand up to them because they were crossing the boundaries of respect for me, I actually did myself a great disservice. I was attempting to be more sensitive by thinking hard about what I was going to say before I said it, because I have been known to go off on people without any sensitivity when they cross me. However, I have found that by not saying anything I ended up stuffing down my anger, which just makes me a time bomb waiting to explode. Of course, part of this lesson involves forgiving myself as well, because as we know, people who cannot forgive others usually cannot forgive themselves. I sometimes find it hard to forgive myself for the mistakes I make with others.
2) Patience: Now, when I told Steven about this one he looked rather dumbfounded and said: "But I think you're really good with patience. You're a really patient person." And actually, he's right. I AM a patient person when it comes to the big things in life: love, friendships, work, saving for a trip to Europe, etc. However, when it comes to the stupid little stuff, I am unbelievably impatient. Road rage comes to mind. So does line rage (being forced to stand for long periods of time in a line). Being inconvenienced by the little things in life. Really, THOSE are the things I need to be more patient about, because if I'm not, I'm going to put myself in an early grave. I can feel my body tensing and my blood pressure going up when I'm forced by some idiot ahead of me to wait forever while they do things in the most unefficient way possible and takes forever to pay or complain about something. My mother has high blood pressure. I do not need it too. Furthermore, it often puts me in a bad mood for later on, so it really is something I should work on. I need to work on being more zen. Alan actually had the best approach to this. For some reason we were talking about waiting in lines and I was like: "Don't you hate it?" And he looked at me quizzically and said: "No, I don't. I use it as a time out to kind of meditate and clear my head before having to go back to dealing with life." I need to learn how to do that too. It would be so much more helpful. Especially since I'm usually rushing from one place to another. I'll miss the journey one of these days.
3) Dating more: Now, this really is kind of a new year's resolution, moreso than a concept or a lesson, but it's something I need to do, like it or not. I like dating itself. Dating itself is fun. It's the messy emotions, either on my end or the other person's end, that are not. However, I need to learn how to be an adult and deal with it like everyone else... So, it's my time to do that. Joy.
Overall, I'm hopeful for this year. I have been doing pretty well for about a year now, and all I wish is for that to continue. I had two years of hell previous to that, so hopefully I will get at least two years of the status quo before having any major interruptions to life as I know it.
1)Forgiveness: Normally forgiving people is not an issue for me. I don't tend to hold grudges and I bounce back quickly. However, this year I found that by not standing up for myself to people when I needed to stand up to them because they were crossing the boundaries of respect for me, I actually did myself a great disservice. I was attempting to be more sensitive by thinking hard about what I was going to say before I said it, because I have been known to go off on people without any sensitivity when they cross me. However, I have found that by not saying anything I ended up stuffing down my anger, which just makes me a time bomb waiting to explode. Of course, part of this lesson involves forgiving myself as well, because as we know, people who cannot forgive others usually cannot forgive themselves. I sometimes find it hard to forgive myself for the mistakes I make with others.
2) Patience: Now, when I told Steven about this one he looked rather dumbfounded and said: "But I think you're really good with patience. You're a really patient person." And actually, he's right. I AM a patient person when it comes to the big things in life: love, friendships, work, saving for a trip to Europe, etc. However, when it comes to the stupid little stuff, I am unbelievably impatient. Road rage comes to mind. So does line rage (being forced to stand for long periods of time in a line). Being inconvenienced by the little things in life. Really, THOSE are the things I need to be more patient about, because if I'm not, I'm going to put myself in an early grave. I can feel my body tensing and my blood pressure going up when I'm forced by some idiot ahead of me to wait forever while they do things in the most unefficient way possible and takes forever to pay or complain about something. My mother has high blood pressure. I do not need it too. Furthermore, it often puts me in a bad mood for later on, so it really is something I should work on. I need to work on being more zen. Alan actually had the best approach to this. For some reason we were talking about waiting in lines and I was like: "Don't you hate it?" And he looked at me quizzically and said: "No, I don't. I use it as a time out to kind of meditate and clear my head before having to go back to dealing with life." I need to learn how to do that too. It would be so much more helpful. Especially since I'm usually rushing from one place to another. I'll miss the journey one of these days.
3) Dating more: Now, this really is kind of a new year's resolution, moreso than a concept or a lesson, but it's something I need to do, like it or not. I like dating itself. Dating itself is fun. It's the messy emotions, either on my end or the other person's end, that are not. However, I need to learn how to be an adult and deal with it like everyone else... So, it's my time to do that. Joy.
Overall, I'm hopeful for this year. I have been doing pretty well for about a year now, and all I wish is for that to continue. I had two years of hell previous to that, so hopefully I will get at least two years of the status quo before having any major interruptions to life as I know it.