(no subject)
Pretty Little Parameters
... now that you are here, where shall I go?
I have let you define so much of who I am, or at least who I would lilke to think I am, but mostly, who I want to be. Or at least think I want to be.
I am not sure, but I think that I hurt a little for the girl who wanted more than this. I feel that in someone small way, I have failed her. She dreamed and reached for greatness, but I have given her nothing short of an empty promise, never to be filled. I have broken her heart, again and again. I'm not who she needs, but I'm all she has. At the end of the night, it's just me to look into her eyes and tell her that it will be alright and that she's OK. But is she? Am I lying? What good have I done for her lately? Should I make a New Year Resolution to her? Should I tell her that I will be stronger for her? That I will not crush her heart. Should I promise? How can I? How can I make such declarations when I have to means of knowing if I can hold true and fulfull such things?
Because this is what I know:
I am sad at times.
I get lonely.
I want more than what I have right now.
I am torn between two worlds.
I actually am kind of jealous, but more than that, envious and a little hurt too.
I hate not feeling like an adult, and yet I just want to be a kid again.
I don't want to cold of heart.
I want to love openly.
I want to love and be loved.
I am lost.
I want to run as far and as fast as I can, and never look back.
I want new.
I want exciting.
I want passion.
I wake up each morning knowing that the day will bing work, and sleep. I want to be surprised. I want to be swept off y feet.
I want to be OK with all the things I said I was OK with, and mean it.
... now that you are here, where shall I go?
I have let you define so much of who I am, or at least who I would lilke to think I am, but mostly, who I want to be. Or at least think I want to be.
I am not sure, but I think that I hurt a little for the girl who wanted more than this. I feel that in someone small way, I have failed her. She dreamed and reached for greatness, but I have given her nothing short of an empty promise, never to be filled. I have broken her heart, again and again. I'm not who she needs, but I'm all she has. At the end of the night, it's just me to look into her eyes and tell her that it will be alright and that she's OK. But is she? Am I lying? What good have I done for her lately? Should I make a New Year Resolution to her? Should I tell her that I will be stronger for her? That I will not crush her heart. Should I promise? How can I? How can I make such declarations when I have to means of knowing if I can hold true and fulfull such things?
Because this is what I know:
I am sad at times.
I get lonely.
I want more than what I have right now.
I am torn between two worlds.
I actually am kind of jealous, but more than that, envious and a little hurt too.
I hate not feeling like an adult, and yet I just want to be a kid again.
I don't want to cold of heart.
I want to love openly.
I want to love and be loved.
I am lost.
I want to run as far and as fast as I can, and never look back.
I want new.
I want exciting.
I want passion.
I wake up each morning knowing that the day will bing work, and sleep. I want to be surprised. I want to be swept off y feet.
I want to be OK with all the things I said I was OK with, and mean it.