getting better!
Well... its been a while since ive actually written a real update. So lets go back.
A little before thanks giving, karl and i had a bad fight, really bad. Tried to work things out... it just didnt happen. He didnt want to work things out because in the long run it wouldnt work out anyways. Ill be honest, i was devastated, most of you knew that. I hit a hard depression, i was really distraught there for a while. But we talked alot of things out this past tuesday. I went to him and just had him hold me while i cried. After i was able to compose myself, we talked a little bit more. he told me his feelings, i told him mine. There was no resentment, no regret, no anger towards the other. What happened, happened. We both screwed up. im not gonna go into detail it would take way too long to explain. but if you wannak know, just ask, ill get in touch with you to talk about it. But he said he still cared about me, and that this was hard for him to do, because he did care, and he doesnt want to see me upset. He said he wanted to be friends, and i must say... over the past couple of days hes been an awesome friend.
We were the ones who broke up, and yet hes been here for me, helping me through it, giving me support, checking up on me to make sure im ok and so on. Last week it was rough, because i was still unsure of why he was calling me, i wasnt sure how to take it, and now that i know, ive been better. We both have an understanding on how the other person would feel if we met someone, so thats good. But tonight when he came over, i thanked him for saying he was gonna be my friend and actually doing so. He leaned over and gave me a big hug and told me hes a man of his word. Dont get me wrong... im still a little sad about it. We spent a good 1 year and 2 months together. Its rough not having him around the way he used to be around. BUT! heres the thing.. when we graduate... we are going off in two different directions. Hes not going to stop me, and im not going to stop him, and i wanna be close to my family, and he wants to go to a coast. We both know our goals and will be proud of the other. I figure if we cant be together, its better we be friends, and share the time we do have left as friends. I dont wanna go ignoring him or fighting with him. Hes a great guy, he made me happy, and he still is, just in another way.
Im not saying these things to try and convince myself of something thats not gonna happen, cause already we've been doing friend things. We played in the snow tonight with joe and dede and chris, and one of chris' friends jason. Sunday hes treating me for my birthday and next week we are going for tattoos =) hes gonna buy mine as my b-day gift. Then over break im gonna come visit him and we will do the x-mas exchange stuff, hang out, see a movie, go to the bars or whatever. LOl, henry and i said tho that if after break he said he missed me i would have to throw a shoe at him for putting me throught all this shit. so i said two shoes, lol. cause i would be pissed! i dont expect that to happen, but if it does... my shoes better come off easy! (I LOVE CONAN OBRIEN! I WANT A LIT UP ABE VIGOTA!) anywho. i have to call coby at 3:30 am so he can wake up and study for his test. Once again i love conan obrien.
ok well im off!
A little before thanks giving, karl and i had a bad fight, really bad. Tried to work things out... it just didnt happen. He didnt want to work things out because in the long run it wouldnt work out anyways. Ill be honest, i was devastated, most of you knew that. I hit a hard depression, i was really distraught there for a while. But we talked alot of things out this past tuesday. I went to him and just had him hold me while i cried. After i was able to compose myself, we talked a little bit more. he told me his feelings, i told him mine. There was no resentment, no regret, no anger towards the other. What happened, happened. We both screwed up. im not gonna go into detail it would take way too long to explain. but if you wannak know, just ask, ill get in touch with you to talk about it. But he said he still cared about me, and that this was hard for him to do, because he did care, and he doesnt want to see me upset. He said he wanted to be friends, and i must say... over the past couple of days hes been an awesome friend.
We were the ones who broke up, and yet hes been here for me, helping me through it, giving me support, checking up on me to make sure im ok and so on. Last week it was rough, because i was still unsure of why he was calling me, i wasnt sure how to take it, and now that i know, ive been better. We both have an understanding on how the other person would feel if we met someone, so thats good. But tonight when he came over, i thanked him for saying he was gonna be my friend and actually doing so. He leaned over and gave me a big hug and told me hes a man of his word. Dont get me wrong... im still a little sad about it. We spent a good 1 year and 2 months together. Its rough not having him around the way he used to be around. BUT! heres the thing.. when we graduate... we are going off in two different directions. Hes not going to stop me, and im not going to stop him, and i wanna be close to my family, and he wants to go to a coast. We both know our goals and will be proud of the other. I figure if we cant be together, its better we be friends, and share the time we do have left as friends. I dont wanna go ignoring him or fighting with him. Hes a great guy, he made me happy, and he still is, just in another way.
Im not saying these things to try and convince myself of something thats not gonna happen, cause already we've been doing friend things. We played in the snow tonight with joe and dede and chris, and one of chris' friends jason. Sunday hes treating me for my birthday and next week we are going for tattoos =) hes gonna buy mine as my b-day gift. Then over break im gonna come visit him and we will do the x-mas exchange stuff, hang out, see a movie, go to the bars or whatever. LOl, henry and i said tho that if after break he said he missed me i would have to throw a shoe at him for putting me throught all this shit. so i said two shoes, lol. cause i would be pissed! i dont expect that to happen, but if it does... my shoes better come off easy! (I LOVE CONAN OBRIEN! I WANT A LIT UP ABE VIGOTA!) anywho. i have to call coby at 3:30 am so he can wake up and study for his test. Once again i love conan obrien.
ok well im off!