(no subject)
My guy friends from church are amazing. I saw two of them last night at the Mexican restaurant. Ben and Teej. When I saw them, they yelled my name across the restaurant. No other guys do that. I went over there, and the first thing Ben said to me was that he liked my hair, as I got it cut and seriously highlighted by the amazing Merrilee. Teej noticed and complimented me as well. Then they asked me what I had been up to that day and I told them about the viewing of my dear friend Rachael's mom who lost her battle with cancer very early Sunday morning, and then I mentioned to them about my mom being kewl and letting me go out of school to go to the funeral this morning. Then Ben proceeded to apologize profusely for never calling me back about getting together to talk about a friend with some issues. He said that he thinks I have been an amazing friend to her and that God will work everything out for her and me. He also told me that I needed to believe in myself more, and that I'm very cool and pretty, and that I should never listen to any other guys but him and TJ because they are the only ones that matter lol. He said that they were the only guys that would care about me like they do. I thought that was sweet. He told me to make him make time for me this week bc I am important to him. lol yea ok. These are some guys that have been truly touched by the Lord. They know what compassion is, and they know how to put others before themselves. And the kewl thing is, they are both 21. Hard to believe, huh? They're amazing. And no one laughs like TJ.
Today was Rachael's mom's funeral. It was sad, yet happy. It was sad because Cindy was only 39, and has 3 kids. It was happy because she is finally with the Lord. I am so proud of Rachael. She is the most amazing person I know. Rach has been dealing with her mother's cancer for longer than I can remember. She has never lost her faith in God throughout this whole entire struggle. In fact, it has brought her closer to Him. I know that if it were me, I would have been so angry with God, and she might very well have been, but no one would ever know it. She dealt with it, and prayed every single day, and even through her struggle, she helped me with my problems, as selfish as I was, wanting her to help me when I should have been helping her. I know now how selfish I really was to her, before realizing how bad this really was. I always asked her what I should do about my own mom, and about my own life and about my own problems. What was my deal? I'm sorry, Rach. I should have been a better friend to you. I will be there for you at all times from now until forever. I will no longer be so selfish with my actions when there are people with bigger problems than me. I love you, Rachael.
I am now in tears, I think that is the first time in a long time that I have just written openly. That is all.