Boobies are weak, for realsies.
Today I went to the doctor to get refills on my birth control, which means the dreaded gynecological exam. Yeah, I know it's TMI, but there's a point to this entry.
When she did my breast exam, she found 3 spots that concerned her. She said her gut feeling is that it's just because I'm large chested, but it's still something that needs to be checked out. She's going to schedule me for a mammogram. She said she doesn't think it means anything, but I'm still terrified.
I'm 27. I'm not sure how much more I can take. These past three years have been the most terrible years of my life. I feel like my body is failing me, and I just wish I could be "normal" for awhile. I know I just have to reach back down into my well of strength to face this, but I just want to sleep. Preferably forever, haha.
In some ways, it makes me understand the desperation I saw in my dad. The absolute hopelessness; day in and day out. He had been poked and prodded for years and he watched his body fall apart more and more every day.
I can't doom myself. I have to find the positive in this and hope for the best. I just hope the best I'm given is enough.
Okay, honestly, enough emo bullshit. This sucks, lulz, but I'm tough shit. It amuses me that I run from stupid little things in life, but I face shit every day that would crumble others.
Maybe I should start drinking, again. Who cares about my diabeetus at a time like this?
I think my 11:11 wish will be for this to be the last crisis for awhile.
I just need a fucking break from life.
When she did my breast exam, she found 3 spots that concerned her. She said her gut feeling is that it's just because I'm large chested, but it's still something that needs to be checked out. She's going to schedule me for a mammogram. She said she doesn't think it means anything, but I'm still terrified.
I'm 27. I'm not sure how much more I can take. These past three years have been the most terrible years of my life. I feel like my body is failing me, and I just wish I could be "normal" for awhile. I know I just have to reach back down into my well of strength to face this, but I just want to sleep. Preferably forever, haha.
In some ways, it makes me understand the desperation I saw in my dad. The absolute hopelessness; day in and day out. He had been poked and prodded for years and he watched his body fall apart more and more every day.
I can't doom myself. I have to find the positive in this and hope for the best. I just hope the best I'm given is enough.
Okay, honestly, enough emo bullshit. This sucks, lulz, but I'm tough shit. It amuses me that I run from stupid little things in life, but I face shit every day that would crumble others.
Maybe I should start drinking, again. Who cares about my diabeetus at a time like this?
I think my 11:11 wish will be for this to be the last crisis for awhile.
I just need a fucking break from life.