Salt and Pepper fest 2019: Fight the Signs of Aging
Title: Fight the Signs of Aging
Author: enchanted_jae
Characters/Pairings: Harry/Draco
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 1,159
Content/Warning(s): Arguing and mentions of sex
Summary/Prompt: Prompt # C11 suggested by themightyflynn: Draco is aging and determined to not do it gracefully. Maybe resorting Muggle remedies to stop the aging process?
A/N: I loved this prompt, themightyflynn. Thanks for suggesting it. Also, a big thanks to my beta, doubleappled.
Harry hung his cloak in the cupboard off the foyer, loosened his tie, and headed upstairs. Once inside the sanctuary of his bedroom, he toed off his shoes and strolled into the en suite. Harry drew up short upon seeing a confusing array of bottles, cans, and jars on the counter beside the sink. He picked up one of the jars at random; it had a posh label that read Elemis. Other products had similar labels: Lancer, TempleSpa, and Estee Lauder.
Harry heard his husband come into the bedroom behind him.
"Draco?"
"Yes, love?"
"Would you come here, please?"
"Did you fall in?" Draco teased, his voice coming from directly behind Harry now.
Harry turned to look at him, then gestured to the sink. "What is all this?" he asked.
"Oh, that."
"Yes, that."
Draco's chin jutted out, a sure sign of stubborn pride on his part. "Those are some Muggle products that Pansy recommended to me."
"Pansy recommended you begin using Muggle cosmetics?!"
"They are not cosmetics, Potter," Draco fumed.
Harry winced. If he was back to being Potter, then Draco had gotten stroppy rather quickly. He tried to make amends. "It's just--"
"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" asked Draco. His question was delivered with The Look.
"Yes, right, of course," stammered Harry. He'd been given an escape route, and he took it, never mind that he'd come in here to use the bathroom. There was always the bathroom downstairs. Harry sidled past his husband and hastened down the steps.
-
Harry yawned and turned off the telly. He stood up and stretched, groaning a little as his back protested. Harry headed for the stairs, flipping the lights off as he went. He tried to be quiet as he climbed the steps, but his knees cracked on each one. Growing old was not for the faint of heart.
Harry thought Draco would be in bed already, probably reading or writing a letter to his mum in France, but the bed was empty. The door to the en suite was open, and he ambled in. Draco was seated at the counter in front of the mirror, applying a thick, white cream to his face.
Harry rocked back on his heels in surprise. "What are you doing?"
"If you must know, this cream contains an anti-aging serum," Draco replied in a clipped tone. His eyes met Harry's briefly in the mirror before he resumed applying the cream.
"Anti-aging?" asked Harry. "Draco, you brew potions. You, of all people, should know there is no such thing as an anti-aging agent, magical or not."
"It's not magic," said Draco. "It's Muggle botanicals and...and chemicals, and stuff."
Harry's brow furrowed, and he picked up the jar, tilting his head so that his bifocals focused on the tiny script. "Apply each evening and watch fine lines disappear," he read aloud. "Surely, you don't believe this hogwash?"
Draco snatched the jar from his hand. "I don't recall asking for your opinion," he snapped.
Harry enjoyed it when his husband got tetchy, so long as Draco didn't harness the power of The Look. He decided to press his luck. He picked up a can and adjusted his glasses. "Proven to regrow hair?!" he exclaimed, not having to feign surprise.
"Don't you dare make fun, you...you mop head," snarled Draco. "You're not the one with the receding hairline."
"No, but I'm the one whose hair is turning gray," said Harry, taking note in the mirror of his graying temples and the silver shot liberally through the rest of his hair. "Yours is as beautiful as ever," he added, reaching out to sift his fingers through Draco's silky hair.
Draco's expression softened, but he wasn't about to let go of his pique. "It's getting thin, and I don't like it" he muttered.
"I think you look like a distinguished, sexy professor with your glasses and your smile lines," said Harry. He was trying to help, but Draco didn't seem to appreciate the sentiment.
"These smile lines, as you so quaintly put it, are nothing but wrinkles," he grumped. "I do not wish to be wrinkled."
"I have smile lines, too," said Harry, feeling his own temper heating up. He was fully aware of how ridiculous this argument was, but most of their rows were over silly things these days. Harry latched onto what annoyed him the most. "Are you saying you no longer find me attractive?"
"I'm not saying that at all, Harry," Draco replied. "Stop putting words in my mouth."
Harry was instantly distracted. There was something much more interesting he'd like to put in his husband's mouth...
"I know what you're thinking, and you can forget about it."
Harry blinked at Draco in the mirror. "What?"
"It will deepen these grooves at the side of my mouth," said Draco.
Harry was gobsmacked. "Are you saying we're never going to have oral sex again, because it leads to grooves?!"
"Of course not," Draco replied. "You may suck me off any time you wish."
Just as he was about to tear a strip off of Draco, Harry saw his husband's lips quirk. "Prat," he grumbled.
Draco chuckled, then returned his attention to the products in front of him. "Harry, I know you mean well, but I am determined to fight the signs of aging, alright? These products aren't magical, and I know they won't perform any miracles, but if they help, even a little, I'd like to try. Would you please stop taking the mickey out of me for it?"
Harry sighed. "Yeah, alright," he said. "For the record, however, I think you're going about it the wrong way."
Draco turned around and met Harry's eyes directly. "I beg your pardon?"
"An active and healthy lifestyle is the best thing you can do to fight the signs of aging," said Harry. "Fresh air, exercise, lots of fruits and veg."
Draco's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You're trying to work this conversation around to sex, aren't you?"
"What a splendid idea!" cried Harry. "Sex is just the ticket. It gets your heart pumping and your blood flowing, which gives your skin that youthful glow. Plus, a good shag releases all those feel-good hormones that relieve stress, which, in turn, alleviates wrinkles caused by frowning."
"Oh, for the love of Merlin."
"Draco, you are a genius," Harry went on, as if he hadn't just heard his husband's eyes roll. "The best part is, since sex is something we can do together, we'll both benefit from its..." Here he paused to peer at the nearest jar. "Its restorative properties!" he finished with a wide smile.
"You're just angling for a shag."
Harry's smile turned into a smirk. "You go ahead and finish up your beauty routine. Take your time. I'll be waiting in the bedroom." He palmed himself through his trousers and strolled out of the en suite.
"Harry, wait up," Draco called after him. "I'm right behind you."
Cross-posted to hp_goldenage
Cross-posted to AO3
Author: enchanted_jae
Characters/Pairings: Harry/Draco
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 1,159
Content/Warning(s): Arguing and mentions of sex
Summary/Prompt: Prompt # C11 suggested by themightyflynn: Draco is aging and determined to not do it gracefully. Maybe resorting Muggle remedies to stop the aging process?
A/N: I loved this prompt, themightyflynn. Thanks for suggesting it. Also, a big thanks to my beta, doubleappled.
Harry hung his cloak in the cupboard off the foyer, loosened his tie, and headed upstairs. Once inside the sanctuary of his bedroom, he toed off his shoes and strolled into the en suite. Harry drew up short upon seeing a confusing array of bottles, cans, and jars on the counter beside the sink. He picked up one of the jars at random; it had a posh label that read Elemis. Other products had similar labels: Lancer, TempleSpa, and Estee Lauder.
Harry heard his husband come into the bedroom behind him.
"Draco?"
"Yes, love?"
"Would you come here, please?"
"Did you fall in?" Draco teased, his voice coming from directly behind Harry now.
Harry turned to look at him, then gestured to the sink. "What is all this?" he asked.
"Oh, that."
"Yes, that."
Draco's chin jutted out, a sure sign of stubborn pride on his part. "Those are some Muggle products that Pansy recommended to me."
"Pansy recommended you begin using Muggle cosmetics?!"
"They are not cosmetics, Potter," Draco fumed.
Harry winced. If he was back to being Potter, then Draco had gotten stroppy rather quickly. He tried to make amends. "It's just--"
"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" asked Draco. His question was delivered with The Look.
"Yes, right, of course," stammered Harry. He'd been given an escape route, and he took it, never mind that he'd come in here to use the bathroom. There was always the bathroom downstairs. Harry sidled past his husband and hastened down the steps.
-
Harry yawned and turned off the telly. He stood up and stretched, groaning a little as his back protested. Harry headed for the stairs, flipping the lights off as he went. He tried to be quiet as he climbed the steps, but his knees cracked on each one. Growing old was not for the faint of heart.
Harry thought Draco would be in bed already, probably reading or writing a letter to his mum in France, but the bed was empty. The door to the en suite was open, and he ambled in. Draco was seated at the counter in front of the mirror, applying a thick, white cream to his face.
Harry rocked back on his heels in surprise. "What are you doing?"
"If you must know, this cream contains an anti-aging serum," Draco replied in a clipped tone. His eyes met Harry's briefly in the mirror before he resumed applying the cream.
"Anti-aging?" asked Harry. "Draco, you brew potions. You, of all people, should know there is no such thing as an anti-aging agent, magical or not."
"It's not magic," said Draco. "It's Muggle botanicals and...and chemicals, and stuff."
Harry's brow furrowed, and he picked up the jar, tilting his head so that his bifocals focused on the tiny script. "Apply each evening and watch fine lines disappear," he read aloud. "Surely, you don't believe this hogwash?"
Draco snatched the jar from his hand. "I don't recall asking for your opinion," he snapped.
Harry enjoyed it when his husband got tetchy, so long as Draco didn't harness the power of The Look. He decided to press his luck. He picked up a can and adjusted his glasses. "Proven to regrow hair?!" he exclaimed, not having to feign surprise.
"Don't you dare make fun, you...you mop head," snarled Draco. "You're not the one with the receding hairline."
"No, but I'm the one whose hair is turning gray," said Harry, taking note in the mirror of his graying temples and the silver shot liberally through the rest of his hair. "Yours is as beautiful as ever," he added, reaching out to sift his fingers through Draco's silky hair.
Draco's expression softened, but he wasn't about to let go of his pique. "It's getting thin, and I don't like it" he muttered.
"I think you look like a distinguished, sexy professor with your glasses and your smile lines," said Harry. He was trying to help, but Draco didn't seem to appreciate the sentiment.
"These smile lines, as you so quaintly put it, are nothing but wrinkles," he grumped. "I do not wish to be wrinkled."
"I have smile lines, too," said Harry, feeling his own temper heating up. He was fully aware of how ridiculous this argument was, but most of their rows were over silly things these days. Harry latched onto what annoyed him the most. "Are you saying you no longer find me attractive?"
"I'm not saying that at all, Harry," Draco replied. "Stop putting words in my mouth."
Harry was instantly distracted. There was something much more interesting he'd like to put in his husband's mouth...
"I know what you're thinking, and you can forget about it."
Harry blinked at Draco in the mirror. "What?"
"It will deepen these grooves at the side of my mouth," said Draco.
Harry was gobsmacked. "Are you saying we're never going to have oral sex again, because it leads to grooves?!"
"Of course not," Draco replied. "You may suck me off any time you wish."
Just as he was about to tear a strip off of Draco, Harry saw his husband's lips quirk. "Prat," he grumbled.
Draco chuckled, then returned his attention to the products in front of him. "Harry, I know you mean well, but I am determined to fight the signs of aging, alright? These products aren't magical, and I know they won't perform any miracles, but if they help, even a little, I'd like to try. Would you please stop taking the mickey out of me for it?"
Harry sighed. "Yeah, alright," he said. "For the record, however, I think you're going about it the wrong way."
Draco turned around and met Harry's eyes directly. "I beg your pardon?"
"An active and healthy lifestyle is the best thing you can do to fight the signs of aging," said Harry. "Fresh air, exercise, lots of fruits and veg."
Draco's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You're trying to work this conversation around to sex, aren't you?"
"What a splendid idea!" cried Harry. "Sex is just the ticket. It gets your heart pumping and your blood flowing, which gives your skin that youthful glow. Plus, a good shag releases all those feel-good hormones that relieve stress, which, in turn, alleviates wrinkles caused by frowning."
"Oh, for the love of Merlin."
"Draco, you are a genius," Harry went on, as if he hadn't just heard his husband's eyes roll. "The best part is, since sex is something we can do together, we'll both benefit from its..." Here he paused to peer at the nearest jar. "Its restorative properties!" he finished with a wide smile.
"You're just angling for a shag."
Harry's smile turned into a smirk. "You go ahead and finish up your beauty routine. Take your time. I'll be waiting in the bedroom." He palmed himself through his trousers and strolled out of the en suite.
"Harry, wait up," Draco called after him. "I'm right behind you."
Cross-posted to hp_goldenage
Cross-posted to AO3