HPDrizzle Fest fic: Rump Roast
Title: Rump Roast
Author/Artist: enchanted_jae
Prompt: # O11 Having a sunburn in a sensitive place SUCKS.
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco
Word Count/Art Medium: 1454
Rating: R
Warning(s): Sex and a bad boyfriend
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Thank you to twistedm for the beta on this one.
Summary: Harry's bum is sunburned, and Draco seizes the opportunity to roast him.
"Ouch, ouch, ouch!"
Draco snickered, and Harry shot him a dirty glare. "It isn't funny," he snapped.
"No, it's not funny, it's hilarious," Draco countered. "You're the one who insisted 'I never burn, I just tan.'"
Harry sneered at his boyfriend. "Shut your gob," he snarled. He winced again as he finally succeeded in getting his briefs past the curve of his bum--his cherry red, flaming hot bum. Harry craned his head but couldn't see the damage.
"How does it look?"
Draco made a production of studying Harry's arse. "It reminds me of that lobster I had for dinner the other night."
"Ha ha."
"Seriously, Harry, it doesn't look good," said Draco. "You should probably put something on that."
"Put something on it?!" Harry repeated, voice rising at the end. "Can't you wave your magic wand and fix it?"
"I know of eight spells to prevent sunburn," Draco replied, "which is why I don't know of any to fix it."
Harry threw his head back and groaned in the direction of the ceiling. "Would a Healer be able to help?" His arse was on fire, and he was desperate for relief.
"We can go to a Healer, but he or she would just look at your bum and tell you to put something on it," Draco replied.
Harry was beginning to rue the day he'd agreed to accompany Draco on a tropical holiday. They had spent two days lazing around on a public beach, during which time Harry acquired a nice tan. Draco had employed his eight different spells to prevent burn, maintaining his pale skin.
Today, however, they had decided to visit a nude beach. While Draco had diligently cast spells on himself, Harry had hoped to get rid of his tan lines. He never anticipated his arse would go from pale to lobster in the course of a few short hours.
Harry cleared his throat. "If there aren't any spells to reverse the sun damage, surely there must be a potion that I can apply?"
"Afraid not," Draco said, sounding far too cheerful and amused to Harry's liking.
"Troll shit!" he snapped. "You're just taking the piss."
"No, I'm not," Draco insisted. "Really, Harry. Competent witches and wizards all cast charms to prevent sunburn. We have no need to fix it. We can't cure incompetence."
"What?"
"I said, I'm sure we can find an unguent or something to soothe your skin," Draco stated.
Harry glared at Draco for a long moment, certain his boyfriend was mocking him, but Draco's expression remained open and sincere. Harry caved first.
"Fine. What do you suggest?"
"If my bum looked like two fiery suns colliding in space--"
"Piss off."
"...I would put aloe on it."
Harry nodded slowly. He recalled Aunt Petunia slathering aloe on Dudders once or twice. "Would you get some for me, please?" he asked.
It was Draco's turn to look horrified. "You expect me to go amongst Muggles?!"
Harry narrowed his eyes. "This is a Muggle resort," he said. "You have been around Muggles for the past three days."
"Yes, but I didn't have to interact with them without you there to protect me."
"For the love of Merlin, Draco, Muggles are people, too!"
Draco rocked back on his heels and shook his head. "I can't do it," he said. "You'll have to get your own aloe."
Harry exploded. "Bloody hell, Draco! I'm in so much pain I can barely move, and you expect me to get dressed again and go get my own aloe, all because you're scared of Muggles?!"
"Yes?"
The windows in the room began to rattle as Harry struggled to rein in his mounting temper.
Draco flinched. "Okay, Harry, calm down," he said. "I'll go to the front desk and see if they have any aloe."
Harry took a deep breath and let it out. "Thank you," he said tersely. "I appreciate it."
Draco left the suite, and Harry lay down on the bed, burnt bum in the air. His skin was hot and tight and bloody uncomfortable. It could have been worse, he reflected. He could have burnt his bits instead. Just thinking about it made Harry cringe. As he lay there, feeling very sorry for himself, Harry's eyes grew heavy. He woke up when Draco jostled his shoulder.
"Hm?"
"I have some aloe," said Draco. "I stole it and Obliviated the Muggle who saw me."
Harry bolted upright, hissing in pain when his sore bum made contact with the bed. "What did you say?!"
Draco laughed at him. "I was taking the piss," he said. "A very nice Muggle lady helped me. She was quite sympathetic when I told her of your plight."
Harry lay down again and groaned.
"I told her my boyfriend burned his bum and was crying in pain."
Harry sneered at him. "I despise you."
"That's quite alright," sniffed Draco. "I can just take my aloe and rub it on some other bloke's bum." He stood up, and Harry panicked.
"No, wait! I'm sorry. Don't go." He adopted his most contrite look. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I'm in a lot of pain, and it's making me short-tempered."
"Very well, Harry," Draco relented. "Please assume the position, and I'll rub the aloe onto your arse."
Harry side-eyed Draco, but his boyfriend maintained his calm demeanor. Harry grumbled under his breath as he rolled onto his stomach again. He felt the bed dip when Draco sat down next to him.
Draco flipped open the cap on the bottle of aloe he held. "Don't worry," he murmured. "I'll be gentle."
Harry snorted but made no further comment. When he felt something cool drizzle over his hot backside, he sucked in a quick breath. Harry let it out on a small moan when Draco's warm hand followed, smoothing and massaging the aloe gel over his feverish skin. Draco worked in silence, stroking Harry's bum and creating a new sort of discomfort. Harry gritted his teeth and squirmed on the bed.
"Am I hurting you?" asked Draco, voice sounding slightly rough.
"You're making it hard," gritted Harry.
"Hard to remain still?"
Harry huffed out a laugh. "You're making my dick hard."
"Oh, dear," tutted Draco. "It's too bad we can't do something about that."
"Why can't we?"
"Why, Harry, I cannot in good conscience pound your poor, sore arse!"
"Wanker," growled Harry. "There's no reason I can't pound your pretty arse."
Draco appeared to think it over. "I believe you really ought to rest," he said. "You mustn't over do."
Harry lunged up, wincing when his bum met the duvet. He twisted his body and rolled Draco under him.
"I think someone is feeling better," quipped Draco.
"You're wearing too many clothes," said Harry.
"Nonsense," scoffed Draco. "All I'm wearing is a pair of...and now they're gone," he finished on a sigh when Harry Vanished his swim trunks.
"Where's the lube?" asked Harry.
"I'm sure I don't kno-oh...and there it is," Draco said in a breathy voice.
Harry nudged Draco's legs apart and budged between them. Draco wrapped his legs around Harry's waist and locked his ankles.
"Ouch!" hissed Harry. "This will never work."
"I'll shag you, then."
"Not a chance," Harry said. He backed up and pawed at Draco. "Roll over."
"Merlin, but you're a demanding twat," Draco grumbled, even as he moved to do Harry's bidding. He settled on all fours, arse in the air.
Harry pounced on him immediately and aimed his cock at Draco's magically-lubed hole. He plunged forward and in.
"Take it easy!" Draco squeaked. "It would be nice if at least one of us can sit comfortably after this."
Harry didn't bother to respond. He saved his breath for shagging. His arse muscles bunched and relaxed as he thrust into Draco over and over. It was painful, but there was no stopping now. Draco was left to his own devices. He took himself in hand and began to wank. The race was on, and Draco won by a stroke. His orgasm triggered Harry's, and both of them groaned in pleasure.
Harry slumped over Draco's back, smashing his face into the pillows.
"I can't breathe," Draco snapped.
Harry rolled away from him, yelping in pain when his sensitive skin made contact with the bedding again. He turned on his side and swore softly.
"Is your arse still sore?" asked Draco.
"Yeah. Yours?"
"Mm," Draco hummed in reply. "Mine is a good hurt."
"Bully for you."
"Would you like me to fix yours?" Draco asked as he rolled over and reached for his wand.
Harry's head snapped up. "I thought you said you couldn't do that!"
Draco shrugged. "I lied."
"Why?!"
"I wanted to rub aloe all over your bum."
Cross-posted to hp_drizzle
Cross-posted to AO3
Author/Artist: enchanted_jae
Prompt: # O11 Having a sunburn in a sensitive place SUCKS.
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco
Word Count/Art Medium: 1454
Rating: R
Warning(s): Sex and a bad boyfriend
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Thank you to twistedm for the beta on this one.
Summary: Harry's bum is sunburned, and Draco seizes the opportunity to roast him.
"Ouch, ouch, ouch!"
Draco snickered, and Harry shot him a dirty glare. "It isn't funny," he snapped.
"No, it's not funny, it's hilarious," Draco countered. "You're the one who insisted 'I never burn, I just tan.'"
Harry sneered at his boyfriend. "Shut your gob," he snarled. He winced again as he finally succeeded in getting his briefs past the curve of his bum--his cherry red, flaming hot bum. Harry craned his head but couldn't see the damage.
"How does it look?"
Draco made a production of studying Harry's arse. "It reminds me of that lobster I had for dinner the other night."
"Ha ha."
"Seriously, Harry, it doesn't look good," said Draco. "You should probably put something on that."
"Put something on it?!" Harry repeated, voice rising at the end. "Can't you wave your magic wand and fix it?"
"I know of eight spells to prevent sunburn," Draco replied, "which is why I don't know of any to fix it."
Harry threw his head back and groaned in the direction of the ceiling. "Would a Healer be able to help?" His arse was on fire, and he was desperate for relief.
"We can go to a Healer, but he or she would just look at your bum and tell you to put something on it," Draco replied.
Harry was beginning to rue the day he'd agreed to accompany Draco on a tropical holiday. They had spent two days lazing around on a public beach, during which time Harry acquired a nice tan. Draco had employed his eight different spells to prevent burn, maintaining his pale skin.
Today, however, they had decided to visit a nude beach. While Draco had diligently cast spells on himself, Harry had hoped to get rid of his tan lines. He never anticipated his arse would go from pale to lobster in the course of a few short hours.
Harry cleared his throat. "If there aren't any spells to reverse the sun damage, surely there must be a potion that I can apply?"
"Afraid not," Draco said, sounding far too cheerful and amused to Harry's liking.
"Troll shit!" he snapped. "You're just taking the piss."
"No, I'm not," Draco insisted. "Really, Harry. Competent witches and wizards all cast charms to prevent sunburn. We have no need to fix it. We can't cure incompetence."
"What?"
"I said, I'm sure we can find an unguent or something to soothe your skin," Draco stated.
Harry glared at Draco for a long moment, certain his boyfriend was mocking him, but Draco's expression remained open and sincere. Harry caved first.
"Fine. What do you suggest?"
"If my bum looked like two fiery suns colliding in space--"
"Piss off."
"...I would put aloe on it."
Harry nodded slowly. He recalled Aunt Petunia slathering aloe on Dudders once or twice. "Would you get some for me, please?" he asked.
It was Draco's turn to look horrified. "You expect me to go amongst Muggles?!"
Harry narrowed his eyes. "This is a Muggle resort," he said. "You have been around Muggles for the past three days."
"Yes, but I didn't have to interact with them without you there to protect me."
"For the love of Merlin, Draco, Muggles are people, too!"
Draco rocked back on his heels and shook his head. "I can't do it," he said. "You'll have to get your own aloe."
Harry exploded. "Bloody hell, Draco! I'm in so much pain I can barely move, and you expect me to get dressed again and go get my own aloe, all because you're scared of Muggles?!"
"Yes?"
The windows in the room began to rattle as Harry struggled to rein in his mounting temper.
Draco flinched. "Okay, Harry, calm down," he said. "I'll go to the front desk and see if they have any aloe."
Harry took a deep breath and let it out. "Thank you," he said tersely. "I appreciate it."
Draco left the suite, and Harry lay down on the bed, burnt bum in the air. His skin was hot and tight and bloody uncomfortable. It could have been worse, he reflected. He could have burnt his bits instead. Just thinking about it made Harry cringe. As he lay there, feeling very sorry for himself, Harry's eyes grew heavy. He woke up when Draco jostled his shoulder.
"Hm?"
"I have some aloe," said Draco. "I stole it and Obliviated the Muggle who saw me."
Harry bolted upright, hissing in pain when his sore bum made contact with the bed. "What did you say?!"
Draco laughed at him. "I was taking the piss," he said. "A very nice Muggle lady helped me. She was quite sympathetic when I told her of your plight."
Harry lay down again and groaned.
"I told her my boyfriend burned his bum and was crying in pain."
Harry sneered at him. "I despise you."
"That's quite alright," sniffed Draco. "I can just take my aloe and rub it on some other bloke's bum." He stood up, and Harry panicked.
"No, wait! I'm sorry. Don't go." He adopted his most contrite look. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I'm in a lot of pain, and it's making me short-tempered."
"Very well, Harry," Draco relented. "Please assume the position, and I'll rub the aloe onto your arse."
Harry side-eyed Draco, but his boyfriend maintained his calm demeanor. Harry grumbled under his breath as he rolled onto his stomach again. He felt the bed dip when Draco sat down next to him.
Draco flipped open the cap on the bottle of aloe he held. "Don't worry," he murmured. "I'll be gentle."
Harry snorted but made no further comment. When he felt something cool drizzle over his hot backside, he sucked in a quick breath. Harry let it out on a small moan when Draco's warm hand followed, smoothing and massaging the aloe gel over his feverish skin. Draco worked in silence, stroking Harry's bum and creating a new sort of discomfort. Harry gritted his teeth and squirmed on the bed.
"Am I hurting you?" asked Draco, voice sounding slightly rough.
"You're making it hard," gritted Harry.
"Hard to remain still?"
Harry huffed out a laugh. "You're making my dick hard."
"Oh, dear," tutted Draco. "It's too bad we can't do something about that."
"Why can't we?"
"Why, Harry, I cannot in good conscience pound your poor, sore arse!"
"Wanker," growled Harry. "There's no reason I can't pound your pretty arse."
Draco appeared to think it over. "I believe you really ought to rest," he said. "You mustn't over do."
Harry lunged up, wincing when his bum met the duvet. He twisted his body and rolled Draco under him.
"I think someone is feeling better," quipped Draco.
"You're wearing too many clothes," said Harry.
"Nonsense," scoffed Draco. "All I'm wearing is a pair of...and now they're gone," he finished on a sigh when Harry Vanished his swim trunks.
"Where's the lube?" asked Harry.
"I'm sure I don't kno-oh...and there it is," Draco said in a breathy voice.
Harry nudged Draco's legs apart and budged between them. Draco wrapped his legs around Harry's waist and locked his ankles.
"Ouch!" hissed Harry. "This will never work."
"I'll shag you, then."
"Not a chance," Harry said. He backed up and pawed at Draco. "Roll over."
"Merlin, but you're a demanding twat," Draco grumbled, even as he moved to do Harry's bidding. He settled on all fours, arse in the air.
Harry pounced on him immediately and aimed his cock at Draco's magically-lubed hole. He plunged forward and in.
"Take it easy!" Draco squeaked. "It would be nice if at least one of us can sit comfortably after this."
Harry didn't bother to respond. He saved his breath for shagging. His arse muscles bunched and relaxed as he thrust into Draco over and over. It was painful, but there was no stopping now. Draco was left to his own devices. He took himself in hand and began to wank. The race was on, and Draco won by a stroke. His orgasm triggered Harry's, and both of them groaned in pleasure.
Harry slumped over Draco's back, smashing his face into the pillows.
"I can't breathe," Draco snapped.
Harry rolled away from him, yelping in pain when his sensitive skin made contact with the bedding again. He turned on his side and swore softly.
"Is your arse still sore?" asked Draco.
"Yeah. Yours?"
"Mm," Draco hummed in reply. "Mine is a good hurt."
"Bully for you."
"Would you like me to fix yours?" Draco asked as he rolled over and reached for his wand.
Harry's head snapped up. "I thought you said you couldn't do that!"
Draco shrugged. "I lied."
"Why?!"
"I wanted to rub aloe all over your bum."
Cross-posted to hp_drizzle
Cross-posted to AO3