Unauthorized
Title: Unauthorized
Author: enchanted_jae
Fandom Archer
Characters: Lana, Ray
Rating: PG13
Warning(s): Suggestion
Word count: 335
Disclaimer: Archer is the property of FX. This drabble was written for fun, not for profit.
Written for:
♦ October Swap gift for mahmfic
♦ dove_drabbles Prompt No. 26 - Calories only exist if you count them
Summary: Lana is conducting surveillance, while Ray proves distracting.
"Focus, Ray. We're on a stakeout."
"You know that stakeouts are long and boring, Lana," said Ray. "Here, have a chocolate, honey. You'll feel better."
Lana eyed the truffle Ray was offering. It was tempting. She forced her attention back to the building across the street. "Thanks, but I need to watch my weight," said Lana, bringing a pair of binoculars to her eyes.
"Calories only exist if you count them," scoffed Ray, popping the truffle into his mouth and moaning in appreciation.
Lana silently gritted her teeth.
"Soooo," Ray began nonchalantly. "What's Archer like in bed?"
"What?!" Lana shrieked before lowering her voice to a harsh whisper. "Why don't you ask Carol or Pam or any of the other hundreds of women he's slept with?"
Ray held his hands up. "Pull in your claws, girl," he chided. "I was just curious."
Silence fell between them. Lana resumed her surveillance, and Ray made a pretense of checking his weapons.
"Is he hung like a horse?"
"Ray, if you don't shut up, I will punch you in the throat," growled Lana.
"Oh come on, throw me a bone here," Ray whined.
"That was awful, even for you."
Ray smirked at Lana. "Can you blame me? I have to-"
"Something's happening," hissed Lana, her lean body tensing on the rooftop.
A limo had pulled up and parked on the street in front of the building. The back doors opened, and two men emerged. One was a known terrorist, and the other was Sterling Archer, wearing one of the worst disguises Lana had ever seen.
"That's one of the worst disguises I've ever seen," whispered Ray, looking through the scope of a rifle.
"Are you surprised?" asked Lana. "Archer is an idiot."
"Then why are we here, providing unauthorized back-up?" Ray taunted her.
"Becauuuuuuuse...he'll ruin the entire mission without some assistance," Lana said. She sounded unconvinced, even to her own ears.
Ray snickered. "If that's not love, I don't know what is."
...
"Shut up, Ray."
Author: enchanted_jae
Fandom Archer
Characters: Lana, Ray
Rating: PG13
Warning(s): Suggestion
Word count: 335
Disclaimer: Archer is the property of FX. This drabble was written for fun, not for profit.
Written for:
♦ October Swap gift for mahmfic
♦ dove_drabbles Prompt No. 26 - Calories only exist if you count them
Summary: Lana is conducting surveillance, while Ray proves distracting.
"Focus, Ray. We're on a stakeout."
"You know that stakeouts are long and boring, Lana," said Ray. "Here, have a chocolate, honey. You'll feel better."
Lana eyed the truffle Ray was offering. It was tempting. She forced her attention back to the building across the street. "Thanks, but I need to watch my weight," said Lana, bringing a pair of binoculars to her eyes.
"Calories only exist if you count them," scoffed Ray, popping the truffle into his mouth and moaning in appreciation.
Lana silently gritted her teeth.
"Soooo," Ray began nonchalantly. "What's Archer like in bed?"
"What?!" Lana shrieked before lowering her voice to a harsh whisper. "Why don't you ask Carol or Pam or any of the other hundreds of women he's slept with?"
Ray held his hands up. "Pull in your claws, girl," he chided. "I was just curious."
Silence fell between them. Lana resumed her surveillance, and Ray made a pretense of checking his weapons.
"Is he hung like a horse?"
"Ray, if you don't shut up, I will punch you in the throat," growled Lana.
"Oh come on, throw me a bone here," Ray whined.
"That was awful, even for you."
Ray smirked at Lana. "Can you blame me? I have to-"
"Something's happening," hissed Lana, her lean body tensing on the rooftop.
A limo had pulled up and parked on the street in front of the building. The back doors opened, and two men emerged. One was a known terrorist, and the other was Sterling Archer, wearing one of the worst disguises Lana had ever seen.
"That's one of the worst disguises I've ever seen," whispered Ray, looking through the scope of a rifle.
"Are you surprised?" asked Lana. "Archer is an idiot."
"Then why are we here, providing unauthorized back-up?" Ray taunted her.
"Becauuuuuuuse...he'll ruin the entire mission without some assistance," Lana said. She sounded unconvinced, even to her own ears.
Ray snickered. "If that's not love, I don't know what is."
...
"Shut up, Ray."