Smoochfest fic: Cock and Bull
Artwork by: wincest_drarry. Used with permission.
Author/Artist LJ Name: enchanted_jae
Prompt Number: #38
Title: Cock and Bull
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco, Hermione, OCs
Summary: Harry Potter has retreated to the Muggle countryside. Draco Malfoy must make war reparations. Hermione brings them together. Will the fur fly, or will Harry and Malfoy learn to get along?
Rating: R
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Warning(s): Graphic animal husbandry, which should not be confused with graphic bestiality.
Epilogue compliant? EWE
Word Count: 11,175
Author's Notes: I owe my beta, groolover, my first-born child for this one!
"Hermione, this is the worst idea you've come up with yet."
"It's a fantastic idea, Harry, if you would only look at the big picture and stop fixating on childhood rivalries," Hermione responded tartly from the flames in Harry's Floo. "Aside from that, you told me you needed help on your farm."
"Not Malfoy!" cried Harry. "He'd be as useless as tits on a bull out here."
"He can learn," argued Hermione.
Harry stared at her in consternation. "Who are you, and what have you done with the real Hermione?" he demanded.
Hermione giggled at that, but she sobered again quickly. "Please, Harry?" she asked. "As the person in charge of the Reparations of War Criminals Division, I'm having a terribly difficult time placing Malfoy."
Harry removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Doesn't anyone else want to put him to work?"
Hermione worried her lower lip before saying, "Yes, there has been one offer for Malfoy, but I don't feel comfortable placing him there. I suspect the person or persons involved would...exploit him."
"Exploit him how?" asked Harry. "By making him work his arse off and get his hands dirty, like I would here?"
"No," said Hermione, "I'm afraid they plan to...well, to whore him out."
Harry cringed. "Do you know that for a fact, or do you merely suspect it?"
"Of course, I don't know for certain," she snapped. "If I did, I'd have them arrested! My instincts, however, tell me that sending Malfoy to them would...it would break him, Harry."
Harry's jaw tightened, and his resolve cracked. "Fine, fine," he relented. "Send the git to me, but if he doesn't work out, I'm sending him back."
Hermione beamed at him. "Thank you, Harry," she said. "You won't regret this."
"I already regret it," Harry grumbled.
XOXOX
At precisely three o'clock the following afternoon, Harry's Floo flared to life, and Hermione stepped through with Draco Malfoy in tow. Malfoy made a show of brushing the soot from his shirt as he took his first look around Harry's cozy cottage home. His lip curled in a sneer, but he made no comment.
Harry's own jaw tightened at the obvious censure in Malfoy's expression. "It's no mansion, Malfoy, but it's home," he said.
An uncomfortable silence descended. Hermione broke it when she said, "Splendid! I'll just be off then, shall I?" She turned and exited through the Floo, leaving Harry and Malfoy alone.
An even more awkward silence fell between them. Finally, Harry cleared his throat and said, "Come along, Malfoy. I'll show you to your room. Once you're settled, I'll take you around and introduce you."
"You'll introduce me to whom, Potter?"
"To the livestock, of course," said Harry. "This is a working farm, as I'm sure Hermione told you."
XOXOX
Malfoy seemed to be taking his time, and Harry's patience grew short. He was about ready to knock on Malfoy's door when the git finally emerged. Harry took one look at him and shook his head. "You had better change into jeans and some sturdy shoes or boots," he said.
"I don't have any jeans or boots," Malfoy responded.
"Then I reckon a trip into the village to purchase some is in order," Harry said.
"I don't have any funds, either," muttered Malfoy.
"That's alright," Harry told him. "I can deduct the cost from your first pay cheque." He headed for the door, gesturing for Malfoy to follow. They stepped outside the cottage and Harry paused to allow Malfoy to get his first look at the farm that Harry now called home. There was a small barn and a stable a short distance away. In addition, there was the chicken coop and a shed where Harry kept an old tractor and an even older Land Rover. He related this to Malfoy as they headed towards the barn.
Harry's dog trotted up, stopped when she saw the stranger standing there, and began to bark at Malfoy.
"Hush, Frankie," said Harry, snapping his fingers. The dog bounded up to him and wagged her tail. She made a final, rumbling growl at Malfoy, then pointedly ignored him.
"You didn't tell me you had a cur," Malfoy commented.
Harry bristled on Frankie's behalf. "She's a registered Australian shepherd," he shot back.
"Shouldn't she have a fancy name?" taunted Malfoy.
Harry smirked at him. "As a matter of fact, she does have such a name," he said. "Her registered name is Finnigan's Fancy Frances."
Malfoy looked at him in surprise. "Don't tell me Finnigan is breeding dogs now?"
"He's been raising shepherds since we left Hogwarts," replied Harry. "Naturally, when I needed a dog for the farm, I went to Seamus. Frankie helps with the livestock, and she provides protection."
"What do you need protection from?" scoffed Malfoy.
"Frankie protects the homestead when I'm away," said Harry. "She also keeps predators away from the chickens." He began walking towards the barn, and Malfoy followed.
"How many animals do you have, Potter?"
"Three cows, a bull, a calf, six chickens, a rooster, a mule, two cats, an owl, and Frankie here," Harry replied.
Malfoy said only, "A mule?"
Harry glanced back at him as he swung open the barn door. "Mules are a cross between a horse and a donkey."
"I am aware of what they are," snapped Malfoy. "I simply find it surprising that you have one. Why not own a decent horse?"
"Mules are excellent workers," said Harry. "Besides, I got a good deal on Maude."
"Please tell me you haven't named all of your animals," groaned Malfoy.
Harry shot him a cheeky grin. "Of course, they all have names," he said. "They're family."
Malfoy shook his head, and Harry continued with his tour. "I open the barn overnight for the cattle," he said. "During the day, they're out to pasture." He led the way to a small box stall where an inquisitive calf poked its head through the rails. "This is Ivy," said Harry. "I plan to raise her until she's old enough to be bred, then sell her."
Harry walked through the barn and out into the pasture. His small herd of Jerseys were a short distance away. The cattle saw Harry and Malfoy and began ambling in their direction. Harry waited until the gentle Jerseys halted a few paces away before he introduced them. "This is Daisy, Susie and Lizzie," he said. "Daisy is Ivy's mother, and Lizzie is due to give birth soon."
"Dear Merlin, Potter, that beast is massive!"
Harry didn't have to look at Malfoy to know he was talking about the bull. Chauncy shouldered Susie aside and stood regarding Harry and Malfoy with curiosity. "Chauncy is harmless enough," said Harry. "I can walk up to him and put a halter on him." As if to demonstrate, he approached the bull with a hand out and patted Chauncy's muscular neck. He then scratched the bull on top of the head, and Chauncy's eyes drooped in pleasure.
"Bulls can be dangerous," Harry cautioned. "The important thing is to not startle him with any sudden moves, and keep an eye on him if you're in the pasture. He may try to test you."
"I have no intention of getting anywhere near that behemoth," said Malfoy, edging back towardss the safety of the barn.
"You may need to," Harry told him. "As my hired hand, you'll be doing a variety of jobs, including helping to care for the livestock."
"Perhaps this isn't the best job for me," said Malfoy.
His comment made Harry wonder if Malfoy had any idea how difficult it was for Hermione to place him. Not willing to disappoint his friend by sending Malfoy back, Harry said, "At least give it a try, Malfoy. Come on, I'll introduce you to Maude. You go on back through the barn while I distract Chauncy."
Malfoy disappeared quickly into the barn, and Harry turned to follow more slowly. As expected, the cattle accompanied them. He kept Chauncy in sight, but the bull was on his best behavior. Once Harry reached the barn, he slipped through the gate and closed it, knowing the cows and bull would head back to the pasture to graze once he left.
Harry found Malfoy waiting outside the barn, where they had come in. "The stable is over here," he said, heading to the left. Frankie bounded ahead of them, and one of the cats trotted out to greet them. Harry bent to pick her up, laughing as the calico clambered onto his shoulder and purred. "This is Esther," he told Malfoy. "She and her son Oscar keep the buildings free of mice and rats."
Harry opened the door to the stable and entered Maude's stall. The mule was out in her paddock, and she whickered to Harry when he stepped outside. He fished a carrot stick out of his pocket and fed it to her. "Maude provides the horsepower when I need to till the garden, and I harness her to the cart when I visit the neighbors."
"I thought you said you have a Land Rover," Malfoy said. He seemed more at ease with Maude, approaching her to scratch one long ear.
"I only use the Land Rover when I go into the village, which is further away," Harry told him. "You aren't intimidated by Maude," he remarked.
"We had horses in Wiltshire," Malfoy responded. "I used to love to ride."
"Maude is broken to ride," said Harry. "I just use her more for pulling various implements. Do you know how to harness her?"
Malfoy nodded. "We had a sleigh, and I would harness one of the horses to it over the hols and go for a drive."
Harry was relieved. Perhaps Maude would be a good place for Malfoy to begin earning his keep. "Why don't you take over caring for Maude?" he suggested. "It will be familiar, and that will free some of my time."
Maude lipped at Malfoy's hair, and he smiled for the first time since he had arrived. "I can do that, Potter," he said, reaching to rescue his hair from the mule's gentle explorations. A soft hoot from the rafters caused Malfoy to look up. "Is that your owl?" he asked.
"That's Barney," said Harry. "He delivers messages when I need to send them, and he's unobtrusive enough that Muggles won't be fazed at the sight of a common barn owl."
"You named your barn owl Barney?" Malfoy inquired, one brow raised in disbelief.
"Shut your gob," muttered Harry. "Let's go see the chickens." He led the way to the chicken coop, opening the woven wire fence and nudging one of the hens out of the way. She fluttered her wings in agitation as she scampered off.
"How many chickens?" asked Malfoy.
"Six," Harry answered.
"And what, pray tell, are their names?"
"Polly," replied Harry.
"And the rest of them?" sighed Malfoy.
Harry smiled sheepishly. "I call all of them Polly," he said. "I can't tell them apart," he added, gesturing at the flock of white hens.
"You're hopeless," said Malfoy. For the second time that day, however, a grin tugged at his lips.
Harry pretended to scowl. "Fine, you tosser," he said. "I'll put you in charge of the chickens, and if you are able to tell one from another, you may name them."
Malfoy's affable grin faded. "What does care of the chickens entail?" he asked.
"You'll feed them and gather the eggs," Harry told him, absently nudging another Polly aside as she pecked at his laces.
"That seems simple enough."
"You just need to watch for Rocco."
"Pardon me?"
Harry grinned at Malfoy's worried expression. "Rocco is the rooster," he said. "He's far more vicious than Chauncy could ever be."
"Roosters aren't deadly, Potter," scoffed Malfoy.
"No, but he can be a right bastard," Harry said.
As if sensing he was being talked about, a sleek, colorful rooster strutted around the corner of the coop. He stopped and cocked his head at Harry and Malfoy.
"He doesn't seem frightening," Malfoy commented.
Rocco crowed loudly, startling Malfoy, and Harry chuckled. "Keep an eye on him, Malfoy," he admonished. "He'll flap at you and try to claw you. Best to keep your wits about you."
They exited the enclosure around the coop, and Harry meandered towards the shed with Malfoy trailing after him. "Here's where I keep the Land Rover and tractor and other implements and machinery," said Harry.
Malfoy immediately gravitated to the wagon that Harry harnessed Maude to.
"Do you reckon you can drive it?" Harry asked him.
Malfoy nodded and wandered around, seeming to take an actual interest in various items. He asked about the tiller and the lawn mower, which Harry promised to teach him to operate.
Tour finished, Harry returned to the cottage with Malfoy in tow. "I don't know about you, but I'm famished," he said. Harry went to the kitchen and put the kettle on to boil.
"Am I meant to be helping?" Malfoy asked, voice gone stiff.
Harry took pity on him. "Just have a seat at the table," he said. "I can manage tea on my own." He removed an apple pie from the pantry and cut two large slices. "Tea is rather informal here," he explained, setting a piece of pie in front of Malfoy and getting forks from a drawer. The kettle whistled, and Harry moved it to the table, along with two unmatched cups and saucers and a tin of Earl Grey.
Malfoy took a bite of pie and hummed in appreciation. "I didn't know you could bake," he remarked.
"I can't," said Harry. "At least, not pies. This was a gift from one of my neighbors. I take her eggs, milk and produce, and she trades me baked goods, as well as berries and apples from her patch and orchard."
Malfoy pretended great interest in the pie. "Is she someone special?" he asked nonchalantly.
Harry paused in the act of adding milk to his tea. "Mrs Pempelton? She's a widow in her seventies, Malfoy. Of course, if you'd like an introduction-"
"Sod off," muttered Malfoy.
Harry laughed at him. "I'm only taking the piss," he said. "After tea, you can get settled in your room. I'll let you know when it's time for evening chores."
XOXOX
After magically altering some of Harry's work clothing to fit Malfoy, the two of them set out to do chores.
"I'll show you the routine this evening, and tomorrow morning, you can take over some of the tasks on your own," Harry told Malfoy. First, they scattered feed to the chickens, then ushered Maude into her stable and gave her hay and a scoop of grain, along with fresh water. While inside, Harry opened a bin of kibble and fed the cats. Both Esther and Oscar put in an appearance, and Malfoy was compelled to make a caustic comment on Oscar's appearance.
"A ginger," he sniffed.
"Don't insult him, he's an excellent mouser," said Harry, giving the orange cat a pat.
Next, Harry sent Frankie out to round up the cattle. "Daisy is the only one prone to lollygagging," he said. "The other two are usually eager to come in for milking." Harry shooed Lizzie through and into the barn, explaining that she wasn't being milked since she was due to have a calf soon. Susie stepped up to a bucket of ground corn and began to eat while Harry sat on a stool beside her and began milking her by hand.
"It appears you know your way around a set of tits," Malfoy commented.
"The proper term is teats," said Harry, "and all it takes is a little practice. Would you like to try?" he asked.
"Certainly not," Malfoy replied. "I've no wish to tug on a cow's udder."
Harry just chuckled as he demonstrated the method of tugging and squeezing to milk a cow.
"I thought Muggle farmers used machines to do that," said Malfoy, standing back a safe distance.
"I only have three cows," Harry said. "It's not worth it for me to invest in a milking machine." He finished Susie and sent her on her way into the barn to join Lizzie and Chauncy. Daisy meandered up, encouraged by Frankie, and Harry efficiently milked her out, as well. He used some of the warm, fresh milk to prepare a bottle for Ivy, showing Malfoy how much to give the calf.
Harry went to Ivy's pen, laughing as she stuck her head through the rails and bawled. He held the bottle down for her, showing Malfoy how to feed her. Chauncy raised his head to peer over the top rail of the calf's enclosure, watching the proceedings with interest.
"Be off with you now," Harry scolded him. The bull snorted but withdrew, returning to munching hay with the cows.
Once Ivy finished her bottle, Harry tossed a leaf of hay into her pen and filled her bucket with fresh water. "I'll be weaning her soon," he said. "In the meantime, you can take over feeding her."
"As long as you handle the milk output, I am confident I can manage the input," Malfoy drawled.
"That's the spirit," chuckled Harry. He was surprised to realize that so far, Malfoy's presence here had not been overly contentious. Maybe Malfoy really was ready to turn over a new leaf.
They finished the chores and headed back to Harry's cozy cottage. Harry put Malfoy to work assembling a tossed salad while he prepared a simple meal of spaghetti and meatballs.
"You've certainly taken hiding from your adoring public to the extreme."
Malfoy's casual comment put Harry's hackles up, but he merely grunted.
"What do you do for entertainment around here?" Malfoy asked.
Harry shrugged. "There's not much to do," he said. "You can watch the telly, and I have a few books you're welcome to look through. We can take the Land Rover to the village tomorrow, and you can borrow some books from the library, if you'd like."
Malfoy leaned back in his chair, a look of horror on his face. "I shall go mad," he announced.
"Don't be dramatic," muttered Harry. "You could try relaxing for once. Get outside and enjoy the fresh air," he suggested. "Take Frankie for a walk or go for a ride on Maude."
Before turning in for the night, Harry made sure Malfoy was familiar with the cottage. There were two bedrooms, and Malfoy had already been assigned to the smaller guest room. "I only have one loo," said Harry. "There's an old clawfoot tub that you can use for a bath, or else you can pull the curtain around and take a quick shower. Since we have to share, try not to monopolize the bathroom or use all the hot water, yeah?"
XOXOX
It was early the following morning when Harry rousted Malfoy from bed. His new hired hand grumbled and scowled all through breakfast, although a bracing cup of tea seemed to restore some of Malfoy's humanity. They trudged out of the cottage, and Harry directed Malfoy to the chicken coop.
"I'll begin by milking the cows," he said, "and you can come and get some fresh milk for Ivy's bottle after you've gathered the eggs."
Harry was almost done milking Susie when Malfoy joined him with Ivy's bottle in hand. Harry paused long enough to pour some of the warm milk into the bottle and sent Malfoy into the barn. Not two minutes later, he heard a cry of pain.
Harry was finished with Susie, and he sent the cow on her way before going to investigate. He found Malfoy writhing on the floor of the barn, Ivy's bottle tipped over and leaking next to him. Harry righted the bottle, ignoring the bawling calf for the moment. "I forgot to warn you she bunts," he said, offering Malfoy a hand up.
Malfoy clambered to his feet with Harry's assistance, but he remained bent over, hands on his thighs and breath still coming in gasps. He glared up at Harry through his fringe. "That little hellion tried to unman me," he snarled.
"You're being dramatic again," chided Harry. "Next time, stand back when you feed her. If you hold the bottle against your stomach or, er, your groin, she'll bunt it into you."
"Thank you ever so for the warning, Potter," hissed Malfoy. He straightened with a wince and snatched up Ivy's bottle again. He offered it to the calf, standing to the side as she began to nurse once more.
Harry had the grace to hold his laughter until he was outside the barn.
XOXOX
Harry left Malfoy in charge of harnessing Maude to the cart while he gathered the items to deliver to Mrs Pempelton. He arranged the jugs of milk and cartons of eggs in the cart and whistled for Frankie. She jumped into the cart, and Harry headed to the bench seat in front. He paused at the sight of Malfoy scratching Maude's withers.
"Would you like to drive?" Harry offered.
Malfoy brightened, and Harry gestured for him to take the reins. Malfoy settled himself on the bench seat and clucked to Maude, sending the mule into motion. Harry directed him down the road until they turned into Mrs Pempelton's lane.
Mrs Pempelton was seated in a battered old rocking chair on her front porch. She waved as the cart approached, and Harry waved back at her. Frankie greeted Mrs Pempelton's dogs with a loud yip, and Harry hopped down from the cart to open the end gate and let Frankie out to play.
"Finally got yourself a boyfriend, I see," Mrs Pempelton observed, eyes on Malfoy where he remained seated on the cart.
Harry felt his ears get hot. "Erm, Malfoy here is my new hired hand, Mrs Pempelton," Harry told her. "I needed some help with the livestock and the gardening."
Mrs Pempelton's eyebrows rose above the rim of her glasses. "He's too fine for farm work," she said. "No one expects you to live like a saint," she told Harry, "and no one cares whom you're canoodling with."
Harry didn't dare look at Malfoy for fear his face would be singed with the heat of Malfoy's glare. "Th-thank you," he told his neighbor for lack of anything better to say. It seemed obvious that Mrs Pempelton had made her mind up, and Harry didn't feel like arguing with her.
He walked to the back of the cart and unloaded the jugs of milk. Mrs Pempelton led the way into her tiny cottage, and Harry trailed after her obediently. He put the milk in her ice box and went back for the eggs. By the time he returned, Mrs Pempelton had two dishes waiting for him on the table.
"I made you a rhubarb pie and a crumble," she said. "Mind you don't eat too much at once, or you'll get the runs."
Harry's face heated again. "Thank you, Mrs Pempelton," he mumbled, helping himself to the treats and retreating from the cottage. Harry almost tripped over an orange cat on the porch, but he deftly avoided her and managed not to drop the pie or the crumble. He whistled for Frankie, and his dog came bounding up and leaped into the back of the cart. Harry clambered up on the bench seat and waved to Mrs Pempelton as Malfoy twitched the reins and turned Maude back for home.
Malfoy remained silent until they were safely out of Mrs Pempelton's lane. "Your boyfriend?" he drawled.
"She means well," Harry hastened to say.
Malfoy became quiet once more, and Harry relaxed. They drove on with only the thud of Maude's hooves and the creaking of the cart to disturb the sounds of nature.
"Another ginger cat?"
Harry glanced at Malfoy and chuckled. "I gave her to Mrs Pempelton," he said. "She was one of Esther's kittens. I inherited Esther when I bought the cottage and farm, and she was pregnant at the time. I kept Oscar, gave Ginger to Mrs Pempelton, and Luna and Hermione got the other two kittens. Esther and Oscar have both been altered, so there will be no more kittens."
"That's a relief," said Malfoy, "seeing as how I would have ended up taking care of them."
"You can't fool me, Malfoy," jeered Harry. "I've seen how you enjoy Oscar's companionship." Indeed, the large orange tom cat had latched onto Malfoy and followed him all over the farm.
"Oscar has impeccable taste," countered Malfoy. A reluctant smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
The rest of the return trip home was made in comfortable silence, broken only by an occasional whine from Frankie when she spied other animals that she longed to chase or herd. Once they arrived back at Harry's farm, Harry left Malfoy to unhitch Maude and take care of her while he prepped a roast for the slow-cooker. He was unused to cooking for two, and a trip into the nearby village for supplies was in order.
Malfoy came in a few moments later.
"Get cleaned up," Harry told him. "We need to get you some suitable work clothing, and we need groceries, as well."
Less than half an hour later, they were on the road again, this time in Harry's disreputable old Land Rover. They ambled into the general store, where Malfoy was outfitted with a few pairs of jeans and several serviceable shirts. They also found him a pair of sturdy work boots.
As they placed the purchases in the Land Rover, Malfoy gestured across the street. "I see they have a pub."
Harry looked in the direction Malfoy indicated. "The Cock and Bull has good food and ale," he remarked. "Shall we have lunch there?"
"Only if you're buying," said Malfoy. "I don't have any Muggle funds."
"I'll treat," Harry nodded.
They crossed the street to the pub and stepped inside, pausing until their eyes adjusted to the gloom. Harry found them a table and ordered for them. They conversed on neutral topics until their food arrived. Harry and Malfoy ate in silence. They were almost finished when one of the locals approached.
"Who's your friend, Potter?" asked the old man.
"This is Malfoy," said Harry. "I've hired him on to help with the farm."
"My nephew could have helped ye out," grumbled the local.
Harry nodded politely. "I'll keep it in mind if I need any additional help," he said.
The man switched his attention to Malfoy. "Do ye play darts?" he demanded.
Harry cringed, but before he could make excuses, Malfoy spoke up.
"Indeed, I do throw darts," drawled Malfoy.
"Would ye care to try your luck and add in a little bet to make it interesting?" asked the man.
"I'm not sure that's-" Harry began.
"I would enjoy that, sir," Malfoy interjected. He took a gulp of his ale and rose to follow the local to the dart board at the back of the pub.
XOXOX
"How much is this?" asked Malfoy, riffling the notes in his hand.
Harry glanced over before returning his attention to the road. "Not much," he said. "Enough to treat the next time we eat at the Cock and Bull." He was still surprised by how well Malfoy threw darts. "Where did you learn to play darts?" Harry asked him.
Malfoy shrugged. "We had a board in the Slytherin common room," he replied. "Zabini taught me. Apparently, one of his stepfathers was rather good at it."
When they arrived home, Harry and Malfoy unloaded the Land Rover and put the groceries away. Harry glanced at the old clock in the kitchen. "We don't need to do evening chores for nearly two hours," he said. "Let's go to the garden, and I'll show you how to help maintain it."
Malfoy changed into some of his new work clothes and joined Harry in the garden. Harry pointed out which were the vegetables and which were weeds that needed pulling, and he demonstrated how to go about it. They put gloves on and got to work. The cats joined them, making nuisances of themselves, and Harry had to scold Frankie for trying to dig a hole at the edge of the garden.
"Oops."
Harry turned to see that Malfoy had pulled a viable plant. "Malfoy!" he cried. "That was one of my carrots!"
"Really, Potter? I thought it was a mute mandrake."
Harry glared at Malfoy, who simply gave him a sheepish smile in return. They went back to weeding, pausing only to wipe sweat from their brows.
"It's quiet out here," Malfoy remarked.
"I like it," said Harry, intent on his weeding.
"I suppose you wanted to get away from London after the war."
Harry nodded. "I had a lot of bad memories from that year," he said. "It's been good for me to come out here and clear my head."
"Do you ever have nightmares?" asked Malfoy.
"Yeah," Harry admitted. "You?"
"Yes, but not as often as I used to," Malfoy said. "When I told Mum I'd been assigned here, she told me it might do me some good."
"Fresh air and hard work will help you sleep better at night," said Harry. "I know it's done wonders for me."
"Potter?"
"Yeah?"
"You were on top of the magical world," said Malfoy. "Why would you trade it in for this?"
Harry rocked back on his haunches. "Yeah, I was on top of the magical world," he sneered, "and I never had a moment's peace. Reporters took photos of me everywhere, and people were constantly pressuring me for favors or introducing me to their marriage-minded daughters. It got so I couldn't go to the pub with friends or even buy a pair of pants without my every move ending up in the gossip columns to be scrutinized and analyzed."
"I always thought fame would be wonderful, but that sounds terrible," Malfoy remarked. "I don't suppose it got any easier when Skeeter broke the news that you're bent?"
Harry tensed. He had wondered when Malfoy would broach this particular subject. "The fallout from that is what finally convinced me to settle into a more quiet lifestyle in the Muggle countryside," he said. "Aside from that, I can assure you that I'm not going to pounce on you and ravish you at the first opportunity," he added stiffly.
Malfoy returned his attention to the weeds, but not without muttering something beneath his breath.
To Harry, it sounded suspiciously like shame, that.
XOXOX
Malfoy had gone to feed the chickens, while Harry and Frankie headed in the other direction to round up the cows for their evening milking. A yell from the direction of the chicken coop had Harry shaking his head and dashing over to see what new tragedy had befallen his novice help.
Malfoy was in a face off with Rocco. The rooster's feathers were ruffled, and he was advancing on Malfoy in a threatening manner. Harry hung back to watch the little drama unfold. Rocco made his move, flying at Malfoy's face, talons first. Malfoy reacted by swinging his empty bucket at the rooster, connecting with Rocco and knocking the obnoxious rooster into the side of the coop.
It was Malfoy's turn to puff up in full fighting mode. "Yeah!" he crowed. "Do you want to try me again, you little shit?!" he taunted, dancing on the balls of his feet and swinging his bucket in an arc. Apparently, Rocco had had enough. His crest drooped in defeat, and he meekly joined the Pollys as they pecked up feed from the ground.
Harry threw his head back and laughed.
Malfoy scowled at him as he let himself out of the fenced-in area surrounding the chicken coop. "Do you find that funny, Potter?" he snapped.
"I'm just glad to see you holding your own with Rocco," Harry said, hands held up in a placating gesture. Malfoy was still armed with a bucket, after all.
Malfoy snorted. "Bloody feathered menace," he grumbled. "He would make a fetching hat for my mother."
"Be nice," chided Harry. "Now that Rocco has been defeated by you, I dare say he'll be on his best behavior."
"He'd better be, or I'll be having his giblets for breakfast," Malfoy declared.
Part 2