JMDC gift!fic; AdventDrabbles 17; DH100 17; Slyth100 17
Title: The Santa Suit
Author: enchanted_jae
Characters: Harry/Draco, Teddy, Fitch & Abercrombie, Santa Claus
Rating: PG
Warning(s): Christmas crack
Word Count: 975
Written for the following:
♥ - Gift for December 2008's JMDC winner: ladybahiya - based on the song I'm Getting Sued By Santa Claus
♥ dracoharry100 Christmas Challenge 2009 - jingle bells
♥ slythindor100 25 Days of Draco and Harry #17 - snowy chalet
♥ adventdrabbles - Prompt #17 - reindeer
Summary: Harry is getting sued by Santa Claus.
Disclaimer: Characters are the property of JK Rowling, et al.
It was over breakfast that a rolled parchment materialized beside Harry's glass of pumpkin juice. Harry looked at it, then slowly raised his eyes to Draco's.
"Elf magic," Draco said, plainly unconcerned.
Harry picked up the scroll and untied the burgundy ribbon. He began to read the missive, eyes growing wider and wider as he did so.
Draco paused with a cup of tea halfway to his mouth and watched his husband's reaction with a tingle of alarm. "What is it?" he asked.
Harry flung the parchment down and roared, "I'm being sued by Santa bloody Claus!"
~*~
It took some doing to get the full story, but from what Harry and Draco were able to ascertain, Harry's dog Tiny had bitten one of Santa's reindeer, identified only as Blitzen. The incident had occurred two days ago when Teddy and Victoire had borrowed Harry's huge Newfoundland to pull them in a small sleigh around the magical side of Hyde Park. Tiny had been trained for such, and he loved it as much as the children did. On that particular day, Santa had flown to Hyde Park in his sleigh, pulled by his full complement of reindeer. His appearance was in conjunction with the Holiday in Hyde Park festivities organized by the Ministry.
The suit alleged that Tiny had approached the team of reindeer and had bitten Blitzen on the hind leg. A Floo call to Andromeda's home and a hasty conversation with Teddy got his side of the story. He admitted there had been a kerfuffle, but he claimed that Tiny had merely been curious about the reindeer and had approached them with his tail waving in a friendly fashion. Teddy further stated that the reindeer in question had kicked Tiny, prompting the dog to "nip at him".
According to the lawsuit, the reindeer's injury was serious enough to put him out of commission for the all-important holiday season.
"Now what?" Harry muttered.
Draco's chin tilted up. "We travel to the North Pole and meet with Santa's attorneys."
~*~
Harry and Draco arrived at the North Pole via portkey. They found themselves outside a snow-covered chalet that was nestled in the foothills of an imposing mountain range. Hand-in-hand they walked to the door. Harry reached for the doorknob and paused. "Fitch & Abercrombie?" he snorted, reading the stenciled names on the glass panel.
Draco shushed him, and they entered the building. An elven receptionist directed them to a conference room where Harry and Draco took a seat at a large table across from Santa's solicitors. Both of them had pointed ears, indicating they, too, were elves. After the parties greeted one another, the solicitors got to the point.
"Mr Potter, your dog--one "Tiny", by name--has viciously attacked Mr Claus' reindeer--known as Blitzen--causing a short-term disability. Mr Claus is demanding compensation in the amount of one hundred galleons."
Harry resisted the urge to demand that Mr Claus kiss his arse. Draco would never forgive him if didn't receive any more gifts at Christmas. Instead, Harry let Draco speak for him.
"While we sympathize with Mr Claus over the loss of said reindeer's services, we feel that one hundred galleons is exorbitant. We will offer Mr Claus ten galleons to compensate him for Blitzen's alleged injury."
"Ridiculous!" screeched one of the elves, jumping to his feet.
Harry's hands slammed down on the table as he surged to his feet as well. "What's ridiculous is your accusation that my dog is vicious!" he yelled. "Tiny wouldn't hurt a mouse. Santa Claus himself gave Tiny to me three years ago as a Christmas gift!"
"What Harry is trying to say," Draco interjected, "is that we don't feel his dog Tiny is solely to blame for the unfortunate altercation."
"Something needs to be done," insisted the other elf. "Santa can't be short a reindeer on Christmas Eve!"
Draco held up his hands. "Gentlemen, I have a solution to propose that I think will satisfy everyone."
~*~
The North Pole on Christmas Eve was a hub of frantic activity. The reindeer, eight of them, were hitched to the sleigh and waiting while it was being loaded. One reindeer stamped his hooves on the hard-packed snow, shifting restlessly. The movement caused the bells on his harness to jingle and seemed to annoy the reindeer next to him, if the antler thrown into his shoulder was any indication. Harry grunted and aimed a kick at his neighbor. There was a sharp crack next to his ear, and he automatically ducked his head.
"Now, Harry, there'll be none of that!" boomed a too-cheerful voice.
Harry looked back to see Santa Claus clambering up in the sleigh, whip in hand. He settled in his seat, and the whip whistled through the air and cracked overhead once more. "On Dasher!" called Santa. "On Dancer! On Prancer and Vixen! On Comet and Cupid! On Donner and Harry! We've gifts to deliver, and we mustn't tarry!"
As the other reindeer lurched into motion, Harry was forced to keep up or risk being dragged along. They picked up speed, and Harry's heart pounded as the lead pair of reindeer leaped into the air. The rest of them followed suit, including Harry, and he found himself flying without benefit of a broom, thanks to the inherent magic he was infused with when Draco had transformed him into a reindeer to take Blitzen's place on the team. The cold air rushed past, stinging Harry's nostrils, but his thick coat kept him warm. The flight would be exhilarating were it not for the vexing circumstances.
"Ho ho ho!" Santa whooped from the sleigh.
Harry snorted. 'Bah, humbug!'
Author: enchanted_jae
Characters: Harry/Draco, Teddy, Fitch & Abercrombie, Santa Claus
Rating: PG
Warning(s): Christmas crack
Word Count: 975
Written for the following:
♥ - Gift for December 2008's JMDC winner: ladybahiya - based on the song I'm Getting Sued By Santa Claus
♥ dracoharry100 Christmas Challenge 2009 - jingle bells
♥ slythindor100 25 Days of Draco and Harry #17 - snowy chalet
♥ adventdrabbles - Prompt #17 - reindeer
Summary: Harry is getting sued by Santa Claus.
Disclaimer: Characters are the property of JK Rowling, et al.
It was over breakfast that a rolled parchment materialized beside Harry's glass of pumpkin juice. Harry looked at it, then slowly raised his eyes to Draco's.
"Elf magic," Draco said, plainly unconcerned.
Harry picked up the scroll and untied the burgundy ribbon. He began to read the missive, eyes growing wider and wider as he did so.
Draco paused with a cup of tea halfway to his mouth and watched his husband's reaction with a tingle of alarm. "What is it?" he asked.
Harry flung the parchment down and roared, "I'm being sued by Santa bloody Claus!"
~*~
It took some doing to get the full story, but from what Harry and Draco were able to ascertain, Harry's dog Tiny had bitten one of Santa's reindeer, identified only as Blitzen. The incident had occurred two days ago when Teddy and Victoire had borrowed Harry's huge Newfoundland to pull them in a small sleigh around the magical side of Hyde Park. Tiny had been trained for such, and he loved it as much as the children did. On that particular day, Santa had flown to Hyde Park in his sleigh, pulled by his full complement of reindeer. His appearance was in conjunction with the Holiday in Hyde Park festivities organized by the Ministry.
The suit alleged that Tiny had approached the team of reindeer and had bitten Blitzen on the hind leg. A Floo call to Andromeda's home and a hasty conversation with Teddy got his side of the story. He admitted there had been a kerfuffle, but he claimed that Tiny had merely been curious about the reindeer and had approached them with his tail waving in a friendly fashion. Teddy further stated that the reindeer in question had kicked Tiny, prompting the dog to "nip at him".
According to the lawsuit, the reindeer's injury was serious enough to put him out of commission for the all-important holiday season.
"Now what?" Harry muttered.
Draco's chin tilted up. "We travel to the North Pole and meet with Santa's attorneys."
~*~
Harry and Draco arrived at the North Pole via portkey. They found themselves outside a snow-covered chalet that was nestled in the foothills of an imposing mountain range. Hand-in-hand they walked to the door. Harry reached for the doorknob and paused. "Fitch & Abercrombie?" he snorted, reading the stenciled names on the glass panel.
Draco shushed him, and they entered the building. An elven receptionist directed them to a conference room where Harry and Draco took a seat at a large table across from Santa's solicitors. Both of them had pointed ears, indicating they, too, were elves. After the parties greeted one another, the solicitors got to the point.
"Mr Potter, your dog--one "Tiny", by name--has viciously attacked Mr Claus' reindeer--known as Blitzen--causing a short-term disability. Mr Claus is demanding compensation in the amount of one hundred galleons."
Harry resisted the urge to demand that Mr Claus kiss his arse. Draco would never forgive him if didn't receive any more gifts at Christmas. Instead, Harry let Draco speak for him.
"While we sympathize with Mr Claus over the loss of said reindeer's services, we feel that one hundred galleons is exorbitant. We will offer Mr Claus ten galleons to compensate him for Blitzen's alleged injury."
"Ridiculous!" screeched one of the elves, jumping to his feet.
Harry's hands slammed down on the table as he surged to his feet as well. "What's ridiculous is your accusation that my dog is vicious!" he yelled. "Tiny wouldn't hurt a mouse. Santa Claus himself gave Tiny to me three years ago as a Christmas gift!"
"What Harry is trying to say," Draco interjected, "is that we don't feel his dog Tiny is solely to blame for the unfortunate altercation."
"Something needs to be done," insisted the other elf. "Santa can't be short a reindeer on Christmas Eve!"
Draco held up his hands. "Gentlemen, I have a solution to propose that I think will satisfy everyone."
~*~
The North Pole on Christmas Eve was a hub of frantic activity. The reindeer, eight of them, were hitched to the sleigh and waiting while it was being loaded. One reindeer stamped his hooves on the hard-packed snow, shifting restlessly. The movement caused the bells on his harness to jingle and seemed to annoy the reindeer next to him, if the antler thrown into his shoulder was any indication. Harry grunted and aimed a kick at his neighbor. There was a sharp crack next to his ear, and he automatically ducked his head.
"Now, Harry, there'll be none of that!" boomed a too-cheerful voice.
Harry looked back to see Santa Claus clambering up in the sleigh, whip in hand. He settled in his seat, and the whip whistled through the air and cracked overhead once more. "On Dasher!" called Santa. "On Dancer! On Prancer and Vixen! On Comet and Cupid! On Donner and Harry! We've gifts to deliver, and we mustn't tarry!"
As the other reindeer lurched into motion, Harry was forced to keep up or risk being dragged along. They picked up speed, and Harry's heart pounded as the lead pair of reindeer leaped into the air. The rest of them followed suit, including Harry, and he found himself flying without benefit of a broom, thanks to the inherent magic he was infused with when Draco had transformed him into a reindeer to take Blitzen's place on the team. The cold air rushed past, stinging Harry's nostrils, but his thick coat kept him warm. The flight would be exhilarating were it not for the vexing circumstances.
"Ho ho ho!" Santa whooped from the sleigh.
Harry snorted. 'Bah, humbug!'