Is anyone listening?

[enchanted_dream]

Will has been gone for a month now. I miss him so much. I'm like a freaking zombie without him. The song "I can't smile without you"  keeps playing in my head. I just got off the phone with my dad. He can't get it through his head that I don't want to be a teacher. I have no passion for it. I was telling them about my trip to Chicago. They kept telling me how and what to do. I was all "i want to rent a car". "oh no, you can't handle the drive."  My grandparents just took off to Ventura in my car. I want to go get something to eat, but I dont want to drive their retarded van. They complain I don't help out with the new house. However, they only work on it when I'm working. I work 40hrs a week plus school. I told some friends about my engagement. Some of them were happy. Others said some hurtful things. My depression feels like it is getting worse. This weightloss isn't happening. My only comfort is sleep and food. I want William here. or let me be there. I want to be away from all of these. I don't know what I am going to do with school. I keep getting rejected plus it is so freaking expensive. I'm not physically fit for the air force plus I want to be the one in my family that doesn't go in. They treat me like a child. I'm 21, but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it.

I'm gonna kill FAFSA. It keeps acting up so I have to do another one.

ugh.....

i dont even have the drive for painting.

I think when my family finds out about my engagement...they will be disappointed.