The First Entry
This is my truth, let me speak it to you.
The first entry. I thought I would give this online journal a try. But the thought of complete strangers delving into the innermost depths of my soul has me feeling a bit wary about it all. And then again, it is an outlet. A chance to share with those I have come to care for so much a side of myself perhaps not known to all. I was never any good at showing my feelings. I guard my heart from hurt, and you know the best way to do that is by never letting anyone in. Oh but I do love. And I wish I were capable of showing it. Do they know though? The people I love. Do they know I do? And how much? Look beyond the surface, you’ll see a broken and bleeding heart crying out to love and be loved.
My Looking Glass. An online forum I never thought I would care so much about. I thought when the time came, and it ended, I would easily be able to walk away from it, and go on with my life. It’s what we I do best. Walk away, move on. When I was suddenly faced with this unwanted reality, I didn’t handle it as well as I thought I would. And how will I be able to in the future? I won’t think about that now, Lestat is still here. He hasn’t left me. Us. And I cannot leave him. But the forum I knew and cherished? The words I spoke? It’s over. Twenty five thousand posts. Gone. My opinion on those responsible? Not worried at all, Lestat will take care of them, no doubt. That is the reason I refrain from making any comments. What is done is done. It’s over, the forum is gone. It’s time for new beginnings. New words, new memories to create. What bothers me is the fact that throughout all of this pain, some actually have the audacity to say they ‘heard’ from somewhere that Lestat might have been responsible for the destruction of his own forum. And they wonder why I thought it was absurd to even mention it. “I have forgiven my mortals for being, mortals” Could you forgive this?
Oh Lestat, you have spent so much time and energy loving and believing in us. To an extent we cannot ever know. All we know how to do is lie to you. Betray you, distrust you, and stab you over and over. Smother you with paltry words of love and faith, then step on the heart you willingly gave over to us. Why the hell do you stick around? To tell you the truth, I wouldn’t. But that is just the bitch I am. I am only human. Oh isn’t that just the perfect excuse?
The first entry. I thought I would give this online journal a try. But the thought of complete strangers delving into the innermost depths of my soul has me feeling a bit wary about it all. And then again, it is an outlet. A chance to share with those I have come to care for so much a side of myself perhaps not known to all. I was never any good at showing my feelings. I guard my heart from hurt, and you know the best way to do that is by never letting anyone in. Oh but I do love. And I wish I were capable of showing it. Do they know though? The people I love. Do they know I do? And how much? Look beyond the surface, you’ll see a broken and bleeding heart crying out to love and be loved.
My Looking Glass. An online forum I never thought I would care so much about. I thought when the time came, and it ended, I would easily be able to walk away from it, and go on with my life. It’s what we I do best. Walk away, move on. When I was suddenly faced with this unwanted reality, I didn’t handle it as well as I thought I would. And how will I be able to in the future? I won’t think about that now, Lestat is still here. He hasn’t left me. Us. And I cannot leave him. But the forum I knew and cherished? The words I spoke? It’s over. Twenty five thousand posts. Gone. My opinion on those responsible? Not worried at all, Lestat will take care of them, no doubt. That is the reason I refrain from making any comments. What is done is done. It’s over, the forum is gone. It’s time for new beginnings. New words, new memories to create. What bothers me is the fact that throughout all of this pain, some actually have the audacity to say they ‘heard’ from somewhere that Lestat might have been responsible for the destruction of his own forum. And they wonder why I thought it was absurd to even mention it. “I have forgiven my mortals for being, mortals” Could you forgive this?
Oh Lestat, you have spent so much time and energy loving and believing in us. To an extent we cannot ever know. All we know how to do is lie to you. Betray you, distrust you, and stab you over and over. Smother you with paltry words of love and faith, then step on the heart you willingly gave over to us. Why the hell do you stick around? To tell you the truth, I wouldn’t. But that is just the bitch I am. I am only human. Oh isn’t that just the perfect excuse?