(no subject)
yeah so I just deleteda long journal thing i wrote cause i read it and thought to myself.."am i serious right now?" it was really stupid. anywho uhhh yeah we otally have a 2 hour delay and im awake...hopefully I can get back to sleep cause day 2's are tiring as hell this half the year..i'll leave the post i wrot cause its so rediculously stupid and has no point, plsu is one ofthose "whoa is me" stupid ass posts
music: Glssjaw - Pretty Lushwell since im up at 530 and Im not going back to sleep, 2 hour delay or not, mine as well do something stupid with my time like write in this stupid thing.
yeah so I oficially cant stand anything about myself anymore. except for the fact that i control things better than a couple years back I cant stand a thing. I cant stand how I am so nice to people when i dont even want to be, I cant stand that I flip out and get pissed off at every little damn thing that gets on my nerves, I cant stand that I feel guilty or like an ass hole when people do anything for me. pretty much I thought I was becoming a lot more mature, but I was PRETTY MUCH wrong.
my brother wok me up last night I dont know what time, but he asked me for the keys to the car so he can go to work today. therefor I wouldnt get the car to drive to school. he broke his car somehow, and he wants to drive the car I drive everyday and make me give up driving to take the bus just for his own selfish reasons. and on top of that he wants me to drive him to work at 445 ish. the only reason I said "ok" in the first place was cause I had no idea what the hell he even said cause i was sleeping, but also I miss him. I cant put it any other way. that kid was the biggest part of my life for so long. since I has in maybe 3rd grade. well anyways fuck it, iI just feel like a huge cock sucker in every aspect of my life right now. lke I cant please anybody anymore. anything I do I just kinda get put down about it or get some stupid ass remarks from people, anyways bye.