(no subject)
Bad things happen on October 30th ... but I'm hell bent on having a good day.
My new attitude (thanks to Mrs. Tina) is helping me in school and out. I like being happy instead of miserable all the time. Even when I am hurt or upset by things, I do a better job of hiding it. I need to keep working on it though. Mrs. Sherry and Henry told me that faking happiness is important at school, but I still need some sort of release. Otherwise, I'll never be able to get off these pills and things will just keep building up and building up until I end up just snapping. That won't be any good then will it? No. Unfortunately, my "release" has been Eli lately and I have to change that too. I'm really glad that I have him in my life though.
Next subject ... school is going really well. I'm getting ready to try out for a position in Phase 2 ... which is a really big deal to me. A few months or so ago, you wouldn't have caught me even thinking twice about this kind of responsibility. I'm really looking forward to it. I'll never know if I don't try ... right? I'm also realizing that I've judged people at my school ... and it was totally uncalled for. Some of these people have been such good friends to me the past few weeks and I love them for it. I'm so glad that I met these people (the good and the bad) because they're helping to make me a better person and I love the friendships I'm making along the way. There's no saying if I'll see some of these people after graduation ... but I love the here and now.
My family is doing well. My uncle died yesterday ... and my dad's side of the family isn't making any arrangements ... not even a wake. I think my dad's upset by that ... because we don't really have a chance to say our last goodbyes and all that ... but i don't really know. My dad's busy with work and all that stuff. My mom is busy being a mom ... but I love the fact that she's not working anymore. Justin is doing really well at school ... still on the national honors society and everything. It's great. I'm proud of him. Ryan is still being Mr. Popular basketball star. He's doing really good in school and in his confirmation classes too. Danielle is in basketball, drama, and keeping busy with school and her friends. Her and I have sleepover's once a week in my room so we can kind of catch up on things and stay in touch. I love it.
Eli and I are doing really well. We've made it past the 1 year mark. It hasn't been an easy road ... but it's worth every second of it. I've never been so in love before ... and it's absolutely amazing. We talked the other night about a lot of things ... and at the end of the conversation, he said "I love you more than life itself" and it made me cry. It's not like I've never heard it before ... but the fact that we can argue for 2 or 3 hours and still feel so strongly for each other afterwards ... it amazes me. It's just weird how everything between he and I worked out. Met on Myspace ... his cousin just happened to be in my class ... met in person at SC4 ... connected immediately. It's not like he didn't have girls all over him ... he didn't need me for a piece of ass like he did the other girl that was in the picture. We talked for about a month, he asked my dad for permission to date me, dad said that it would be alright. 4 days later, he said he loved me ... and I said I loved him back. 6 days after that, he asked me to marry him at a Halloween party with my best friend's little plastic spider ring ... and we have pictures of the actual proposal. Eventually, he proposed the right way with my best friend right there. Mmmm ... I love him. A-MAZ-ING!!!!! I thank God everyday that things have worked out this well and I'm convinced that he's my soulmate and that things were just meant to be this way. And it's to the point now that we get past all the B.S. that people try to cause and all the hassle that is involved. We get through it all holding hands and not even looking back. I still get butterflies whenever I see him. I wish that everyone could have a chance to feel this way about someone ... and that they have someone to feel the same way about them.
I'm sorry about rambling ... but I have finally come to realize just how blessed I am. Some people will never have all the things that I have. Granted, I've had my share of misfortune ... but I've always had loving people around me ... whether it was friends, family, or Eli. I can't wait to get started with the rest of my life ... the rest of OUR life ... because I'm definately not going anywhere by myself.
I love my family
I love my friends
I love Eli
I love life
My new attitude (thanks to Mrs. Tina) is helping me in school and out. I like being happy instead of miserable all the time. Even when I am hurt or upset by things, I do a better job of hiding it. I need to keep working on it though. Mrs. Sherry and Henry told me that faking happiness is important at school, but I still need some sort of release. Otherwise, I'll never be able to get off these pills and things will just keep building up and building up until I end up just snapping. That won't be any good then will it? No. Unfortunately, my "release" has been Eli lately and I have to change that too. I'm really glad that I have him in my life though.
Next subject ... school is going really well. I'm getting ready to try out for a position in Phase 2 ... which is a really big deal to me. A few months or so ago, you wouldn't have caught me even thinking twice about this kind of responsibility. I'm really looking forward to it. I'll never know if I don't try ... right? I'm also realizing that I've judged people at my school ... and it was totally uncalled for. Some of these people have been such good friends to me the past few weeks and I love them for it. I'm so glad that I met these people (the good and the bad) because they're helping to make me a better person and I love the friendships I'm making along the way. There's no saying if I'll see some of these people after graduation ... but I love the here and now.
My family is doing well. My uncle died yesterday ... and my dad's side of the family isn't making any arrangements ... not even a wake. I think my dad's upset by that ... because we don't really have a chance to say our last goodbyes and all that ... but i don't really know. My dad's busy with work and all that stuff. My mom is busy being a mom ... but I love the fact that she's not working anymore. Justin is doing really well at school ... still on the national honors society and everything. It's great. I'm proud of him. Ryan is still being Mr. Popular basketball star. He's doing really good in school and in his confirmation classes too. Danielle is in basketball, drama, and keeping busy with school and her friends. Her and I have sleepover's once a week in my room so we can kind of catch up on things and stay in touch. I love it.
Eli and I are doing really well. We've made it past the 1 year mark. It hasn't been an easy road ... but it's worth every second of it. I've never been so in love before ... and it's absolutely amazing. We talked the other night about a lot of things ... and at the end of the conversation, he said "I love you more than life itself" and it made me cry. It's not like I've never heard it before ... but the fact that we can argue for 2 or 3 hours and still feel so strongly for each other afterwards ... it amazes me. It's just weird how everything between he and I worked out. Met on Myspace ... his cousin just happened to be in my class ... met in person at SC4 ... connected immediately. It's not like he didn't have girls all over him ... he didn't need me for a piece of ass like he did the other girl that was in the picture. We talked for about a month, he asked my dad for permission to date me, dad said that it would be alright. 4 days later, he said he loved me ... and I said I loved him back. 6 days after that, he asked me to marry him at a Halloween party with my best friend's little plastic spider ring ... and we have pictures of the actual proposal. Eventually, he proposed the right way with my best friend right there. Mmmm ... I love him. A-MAZ-ING!!!!! I thank God everyday that things have worked out this well and I'm convinced that he's my soulmate and that things were just meant to be this way. And it's to the point now that we get past all the B.S. that people try to cause and all the hassle that is involved. We get through it all holding hands and not even looking back. I still get butterflies whenever I see him. I wish that everyone could have a chance to feel this way about someone ... and that they have someone to feel the same way about them.
I'm sorry about rambling ... but I have finally come to realize just how blessed I am. Some people will never have all the things that I have. Granted, I've had my share of misfortune ... but I've always had loving people around me ... whether it was friends, family, or Eli. I can't wait to get started with the rest of my life ... the rest of OUR life ... because I'm definately not going anywhere by myself.
I love my family
I love my friends
I love Eli
I love life