I couldn't keep to myself anymore
So ... I'm really starting to not like this whole situation. I don't know what the problem is ... only what you claim. You went from smiling almost everyday and being happy to hang out with us to seemingly miserable and hateful. I didn't do anything to deserve that type of treatment. I miss hanging out with you and having fun like we used to. I miss the Myspace picture outings and Dennys coffee. I miss being able to joke around with you and being able to say things without you biting my head off.
I didn't mean to "bail" on you and Chicago ... I really wanted to go. I talked to Miss Tina to see if I could open up a salon there and everything. The plan was a go. But I don't understand how you can still expect me to live with you when, by then, Eli and I will be married. Living with someone that hates my husband isn't the most brilliant situation.
I've tried to keep my mouth shut this whole time because I thought that maybe you were just stressed out or something along those lines. Now I don't even know what to say. Your entries are anything but friendly. You don't have anything good to say to anyone. You hardly ever smile. And you're being really unreasonable. That's not you ... well ... that's not the you that I knew. Hating people for no reason? That's not you. Pushing your way into other peoples' business? Not you. Putting information online that nobody has a right to know except those people involved ... NOT YOU!!
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't understand why you're being like this. I don't think I really want to understand either. I miss you terribly ... but I can't be around you when you're like this. It makes me sad. This really hurts me. It's like I have to choose or something and that's not even fair to put me in that type of situation.
I love you ... really I do ... but this has got to stop. It's not the truth that's hurting me. It's the fact that the one person in the world that I thought would have my back and help me in this relationship is the one person that's tearing it down the most. One of the people that I trusted the most is the one person that I have to worry about hanging all my shit out to dry. That is what's hurting the most. The fact that Eli and I will ALWAYS have your back and you're turning your back on us. We're worried about your happiness and you slap us in the face. I don't understand, really I don't.
I think that you need to straighten things out and learn to love yourself before you can be happy with anyone else ... friends, boyfriends, family, whatever it may be. You're a wonderful person but there are things that you need to work on. Get back to being my old HERO so that things can start being happy again. Please? I love you and always will.
On a happier note ... I'm doing really well in school. I'm still not really fond of it, but it's growing on me now that we're doing something instead of just sitting there. I still don't really know if it's me yet or not. All I know is that if I'm going to succeed, it's up to me. Nobody can do it for me. I've met a few really amazing people there though that I can see myself being friends with for a very long time. But most of the other people that I've said that about ... it hasn't worked out that way. So we'll see. I just want to concentrate in school, do well, and get a job so I can get married.
I love you Eli with everything that I am. Thank you for standing beside me through everything. I can't wait to be with you forever.
I didn't mean to "bail" on you and Chicago ... I really wanted to go. I talked to Miss Tina to see if I could open up a salon there and everything. The plan was a go. But I don't understand how you can still expect me to live with you when, by then, Eli and I will be married. Living with someone that hates my husband isn't the most brilliant situation.
I've tried to keep my mouth shut this whole time because I thought that maybe you were just stressed out or something along those lines. Now I don't even know what to say. Your entries are anything but friendly. You don't have anything good to say to anyone. You hardly ever smile. And you're being really unreasonable. That's not you ... well ... that's not the you that I knew. Hating people for no reason? That's not you. Pushing your way into other peoples' business? Not you. Putting information online that nobody has a right to know except those people involved ... NOT YOU!!
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't understand why you're being like this. I don't think I really want to understand either. I miss you terribly ... but I can't be around you when you're like this. It makes me sad. This really hurts me. It's like I have to choose or something and that's not even fair to put me in that type of situation.
I love you ... really I do ... but this has got to stop. It's not the truth that's hurting me. It's the fact that the one person in the world that I thought would have my back and help me in this relationship is the one person that's tearing it down the most. One of the people that I trusted the most is the one person that I have to worry about hanging all my shit out to dry. That is what's hurting the most. The fact that Eli and I will ALWAYS have your back and you're turning your back on us. We're worried about your happiness and you slap us in the face. I don't understand, really I don't.
I think that you need to straighten things out and learn to love yourself before you can be happy with anyone else ... friends, boyfriends, family, whatever it may be. You're a wonderful person but there are things that you need to work on. Get back to being my old HERO so that things can start being happy again. Please? I love you and always will.
On a happier note ... I'm doing really well in school. I'm still not really fond of it, but it's growing on me now that we're doing something instead of just sitting there. I still don't really know if it's me yet or not. All I know is that if I'm going to succeed, it's up to me. Nobody can do it for me. I've met a few really amazing people there though that I can see myself being friends with for a very long time. But most of the other people that I've said that about ... it hasn't worked out that way. So we'll see. I just want to concentrate in school, do well, and get a job so I can get married.
I love you Eli with everything that I am. Thank you for standing beside me through everything. I can't wait to be with you forever.