3 yr anniversary
Brad,
Tomorrow will be the third anniversary of your death.
I first heard of your death the first year I was teaching when Ben called me. I cried all day. I cried all night.
I feel guilty sometimes because I know that Ben cared about you so much. But then I don't because I remember how much you meant to me.
Even if I didn't love you the way he did, I still cared for you.
You were such an amazing person.
And sometimes I get very angry because I think about what a fucking waste it was for you to kill yourself.
And then it angers me further because you insisted on not having a funeral, and your family honored it.
And I, including Ben, needed that closer that you denied us.
And sometimes, I just want to curse you in the heavens because you think you took the only way you thought possible, and I know you were wrong.
Why didn't you talk to us?
We could have helped.
Ben loved you so much.
I loved you.
Why?
Tomorrow will be the third anniversary of your death.
I first heard of your death the first year I was teaching when Ben called me. I cried all day. I cried all night.
I feel guilty sometimes because I know that Ben cared about you so much. But then I don't because I remember how much you meant to me.
Even if I didn't love you the way he did, I still cared for you.
You were such an amazing person.
And sometimes I get very angry because I think about what a fucking waste it was for you to kill yourself.
And then it angers me further because you insisted on not having a funeral, and your family honored it.
And I, including Ben, needed that closer that you denied us.
And sometimes, I just want to curse you in the heavens because you think you took the only way you thought possible, and I know you were wrong.
Why didn't you talk to us?
We could have helped.
Ben loved you so much.
I loved you.
Why?