Because I haven't updated in awhile.
Preface: The 2006 fiscal year is over on Aug. 31.
Conversation between Bridget (my boss) and myself:
Bridge: "So we're having a New Year's Eve party."
Me: "Oh yeah?"
Bridge: "Yeah, on Aug. 31 @ 12."
Me: (without thinking) "Oh good, I thought y'all expected me to spend my New Year's Eve with you guys."
Bridge: *stare* *blink*
Me: (cue nervous laughter)
Oops. Remind me not to commence with the verbal diarreah.
On another note, I came up with this list of prerequisites that I wish I could give my clients.
LIST FOR EMILY'S CONSUMERS WHO WANT JOBS
1. I am not deaf. It is not necessary for you to repeat yourself three times.
2. No, I can't find you a job at NASA.
3. No, no one is going to hire you for one hour a week.
4. No, it is not appropriate to talk to yourself while working.
5. Please don't tell your coworkers that the devil is talking to you. Trust me, this will not go over well.
6. This is a no-drool zone.
7. I am not God, I can't give you everything you want.
8. Please don't run over my toes with your wheelchair.
9. No, your boss is not discriminating. You are doing a shitty job.
10. No, NASA is definitely NOT hiring.
Conversation between Bridget (my boss) and myself:
Bridge: "So we're having a New Year's Eve party."
Me: "Oh yeah?"
Bridge: "Yeah, on Aug. 31 @ 12."
Me: (without thinking) "Oh good, I thought y'all expected me to spend my New Year's Eve with you guys."
Bridge: *stare* *blink*
Me: (cue nervous laughter)
Oops. Remind me not to commence with the verbal diarreah.
On another note, I came up with this list of prerequisites that I wish I could give my clients.
LIST FOR EMILY'S CONSUMERS WHO WANT JOBS
1. I am not deaf. It is not necessary for you to repeat yourself three times.
2. No, I can't find you a job at NASA.
3. No, no one is going to hire you for one hour a week.
4. No, it is not appropriate to talk to yourself while working.
5. Please don't tell your coworkers that the devil is talking to you. Trust me, this will not go over well.
6. This is a no-drool zone.
7. I am not God, I can't give you everything you want.
8. Please don't run over my toes with your wheelchair.
9. No, your boss is not discriminating. You are doing a shitty job.
10. No, NASA is definitely NOT hiring.