Fic: It's the Man Who Makes the Lord 3/3
Part 2: http://emynithilien.livejournal.com/2531.html#cutid1
JON
Jon’s wolf dreams where Ghost visited King Stannis in his solar kept reoccurring. Sometimes Jon wondered if Ghost really was at Stannis’ side or not, for since that one breakfast with his king and Lord Davos, Stannis had made no comment about the wolf’s visits, and he dared not ask. The dreams were becoming more and more vivid, and Stannis’ hands were starting to travel to places that he was certain they would never go to in waking life. At times Jon would curse when he saw the state of his sheets when he awoke and would hastily wash himself with cold water to make his appearance more presentable.
He wished that he could talk to someone about these dreams to figure out what they meant, but he knew that was an unwise prospect. He wondered how Davos would react if he told him. Now that would be an absurd conversation. “Lord Davos, I’ve been starting to have inappropriate dreams about our king, would he be likely to reciprocate them?” Davos would likely either look at him with disgust or smile sadly and tell him how woefully misguided he was.
Nevertheless, life at King’s Landing was beginning to fall into a comfortable pattern for Jon: Rise, instruct his Kingsguard brothers on their duties, train at arms, sit on the king’s council, and spend the rest of his time either guarding, accompanying, or talking with the king. Sometimes he felt that the world only consisted of those in the Red Keep, and at other times just those that King Stannis willingly spent his time with-himself, Lord Davos and his children, and Princess Shireen. But other times Jon felt that an even smaller world existed when his watched his king and his Hand together. When the two men looked at each other, there was this wordless but oh-so-strong connection between them, and even though Jon was armed with Valyrian steel, there was no way he could break into the world that only Stannis and Davos seemed to be a part of.
~
It was evening again, and Jon was having a conversation with his king while he guarded him in his solar. Wait, take that back. He was having an argument with his king. That afternoon the small council had debated again on what to do with Ser Jaime Lannister, and the debate turned out just like all the others before it: Stannis had ground his teeth, Davos calmly sat and said there were much worse things than death, and the lords and masters of this and that croaked the same things they had before, no one willing to budge on their position.
Jon was tired of the indecision, Lord Tyrion’s ravens were becoming more and more hostile and likely to be laced with wildfire any day now, and the king…King Stannis still wanted the oath breaker beheaded, which Jon thought was the wrong decision with each passing day.
“Why again do I have to listen to your arguments to spare Jaime Lannister? Your constant insistence at me changing my mind is beginning to infuriate me! No man in Westeros can argue about the injustice of him being put to death; would you like me to list the oaths he has broken again?”
“No need, your Grace, unless you would like to add anything to king slaying, queen slaying, kin slaying, adultery, incest, and the attempted murder of children?” Jon shot back.
“Let me repeat myself. Why do you still want me to change my mind?”
“Because a wise man once said that a bad act cannot wash out the good. Ser Jaime had sound reasons for killing King Aerys and Queen Cersei, and frankly he did the realm a favor in both cases.”
“You might have forgotten that this same ‘wise man’ also said that a good act does not wash out the bad. You argument will just keep going around in circles! A decision has to be made on this topic after close to a year of deliberation, and I intend to make the one that Robert should have made when he became king!”
Stannis was really starting to scare Jon now. The king’s eyes were livid, his posture was absurdly tense, and he when he wasn’t shouting he was grinding his teeth so hard that Jon thought it a miracle that they didn’t shatter.
“My king, it won’t destroy you to compromise with your friends and adversaries alike. Take Lord Tyrion’s offer to erase half the crown’s debt and send the Kingslayer to the Wall and be done with it! You will reap most all the benefit from a deal like that; instead of executing justice that could lose any loyalty you have or will ever have in the Westerlands.”
“I do not answer to you for all my decisions! And why should I have to justify justice?”
“Don’t you see it? I don’t want to see you make the same mistakes that I made!”
“And what mistakes were those?”
“The ones where I failed to justify the reasons for my decisions with my lords. The ones that alienated me from my brothers of the Night’s Watch. The ones that got me killed by men I thought were mine.”
Jon could see Stannis’ eyes widen in realization, as if he finally understood the unsaid meanings behind his words. As if he finally understood how true a member of the Kingsguard Jon was, how somewhere along the line Jon had come to regard him as more than just the king he served. And Jon realized that he was sick of it, so thoroughly sick of their bickering and the tangles of politics that were causing so much frustration and aggravation. Years from now, he would not be able to fathom why he did what he did, why something buried deep inside of him chose that moment to snap and erase whatever semblance of common sense was still left in him. But he would know that he would never regret it. In three quick steps he erased the distance between them and grabbed his king roughly by his thin shoulders. Jon briefly registered the spark of surprise that leapt out from Stannis’ eyes before he kissed him full on the mouth.
Stannis remained frozen, but he didn’t make any move to push Jon away. His hands reached up to cover Jon’s, and at the touch Jon’s senses returned to him and reminded him of exactly what folly he was doing. As if he had been burned, Jon pushed himself away from his king and hastily stumbled backwards, nearly tripping on his white cloak and muttering apologies that he doubted anyone but himself could hear.
He risked a glance at his king’s face, expecting Stannis to be livid, enraged, or furious enough to kill him. Except…Stannis looked like none of those things. The King of the seven kingdoms of Westeros was still rooted to the spot where Jon had kissed him, staring at him with the most stunned expression he had ever seen on anyone. Gods, I don’t think even Davos has seen him this shocked in near twenty years.
Truly, Jon was more scared of this Stannis. He had seen his king angry enough times to know the right way to act around him during those moments. He had seen him irritated, thoughtful, happy even, when he watched his daughter ride the new horse he had bought for her last nameday. But he had never seen Stannis stunned, shocked, astonished-or any of those related emotions-at anything, and that really scared Jon.
In an instant, Stannis’ expression changed from stunned to determined, and without word or warning Stannis swiftly strode toward him, grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him hard on the mouth. Jon had never been kissed like that before-not that he had much to compare it to. Stannis’ lips were rough as they furtively moved against his own, as if a lightning bolt was suddenly going to strike and stop him from finishing what he started. Jon hesitated less than a second before he yielded to Stannis’ tongue against his lips, and when he opened his mouth more Stannis deepened the kiss. Jon could feel his king’s calloused fingers threading through his hair, occasionally pulling at it to keep his head in place and tilted up toward him. He remembered what those fingers felt like brushing through Ghost’s fur in his dreams and that day in the godswood, how good it felt then and how much it had made him blush. But feeling through Ghost was nothing compared to what it felt like in his real body, and Jon couldn’t control the moan that shamelessly escaped him.
Eventually-both of them desperately needing air-they mutually broke the kiss. Stannis’ eyes were still closed, and his hands were gently cupping Jon’s face. Jon found himself pushed up against the nearest wall with his hands clutching at the collar of Stannis’ tunic. He didn’t remember being near the wall in the first place, or Stannis pushing him up against it.
When Stannis had caught his breath, he opened his eyes at Jon. The color of dragonglass they seemed, for there was only a thin ring of blue separating the iris from the pupil. In a low voice, he began: “I have a proposal to make to you, Lord Snow. I will not fault you for whatever choice you make, for it is up to you to decide what path to take if you wish to maintain any principles that you hold, and I will never force you to do anything that is against your will.”
Proposals. Jon was familiar with Stannis’ proposals, and he had a feeling that this one would be just as tempting and just as morally conflicting. You can rise as Jon Stark, Lord of Winterfell…Become the leader of the finest order of knighthood in the realm…
“You can wait outside this door until Ser Rolland relieves you for the night, and I will promise never to speak of this evening ever again unless you wish to; it is at your discretion. Or…”
“Or?” Jon’s heart was pounding, faster than perhaps it had when he fought the wight in Lord Mormont’s chambers.
“Or, you can tell Ser Rolland that he is not needed tonight, for you have unfinished business that you wish to further discuss with me.”
Now it was Jon’s turn to look taken aback. Did Stannis mean what he thought he meant? He must, if the hand now running along his jaw and the thumb tracing his bottom lip were any indication.
“But what about the guard?” Jon breathed out. There always has to be a member of the Kingsguard present, one who is guaranteed to be awake, with sword in hand, and not…distracted. “Shouldn’t you always have a member of the Kingsguard by your side?”
“There are guards enough at the base of this tower, but should someone slip past them I think that two wolves are enough to protect me, don’t you think?”
Jon opened his mouth in a half smile. Was Stannis Baratheon actually trying to play with him?
Stannis dropped his hands, turned away from him, and walked back toward his desk, sitting back down in his chair and sorting through stacks of papers. No further mention of Ser Jaime Lannister was made. If anyone else were to see the king at the moment, they would never have been able to guess that just minutes before he had been roughly kissing the Lord Commander of his Kingsguard up against the wall, such was his talent in composing himself-save for a slight redness on his lips. Jon, on the other hand, was still leaning against the wall, breathing rather heavily.
Ser Rolland is due to replace me any minute. I should get down to the base of this tower and meet him right now…What in the names of all the old gods and the new am I going to do? Why do I always have to be so conflicted about everything? But then again, am I really conflicted about the choice I want to make?
So Jon made his way to the door to go out of his king’s chambers, looking back at Stannis. Blue eyes met grey for what seemed an eternity, as Stannis finally said:
“I await your decision...Jon.”
END
End Notes:
- Jon being brought back to life: I wanted to go deeper into how Jon survived his assassination attempt other than simply he “miraculously survived.” Hopefully what I came up with is as plausible as some of the theories flying around out there; if the Red Priests can bring people back to life with a kiss, why not the weirwoods? I just hope that GRRM doesn’t write something completely lame about how Jon is brought back to life, and yes, I believe Jon’s too important a character to the series to kill off at this point, given how much of the story is invested in him and his POV. Sort of like Frodo being seemingly killed off in Shelob’s cave in Lord of the Rings.
- Godswood scene: Stannis is a staunch agnostic in the books, and doesn’t care about religion except when it can inspire fear in his enemies and followers alike, hence his partnership with Melisandre. We know why he doesn’t believe in the Seven (his parents’ drowning), and we also know that he thinks it’s rather silly to pray to trees. So would his lack of faith ever change? Possibly. I’m not saying that Stannis will become a fervent follower of any religion other than honor and duty, but I think it’s in character for him to have doubts when presented with something that defies all logic-i.e. Jon being brought back to life.
- Jaime scene: I was trying to mimic Jaime’s characterization in Catelyn’s last ACOK chapter, where he basically loses all forms of restraint. You can argue that he isn’t this arrogant in ASOS and AFFC, but after murdering Cersei I think he’d permanently snap. Anyways, he’s good for making japes against Stannis, Jon, and Davos that no one would ever dare say to Stannis directly, and also for furthering the Stannis/Jon dynamic and giving them something legitimate to argue about. So hopefully my requestor will forgive me for including him in the story even though she doesn’t care for him.
- Last scene: Sooooooo…I wanted to try writing in context Stannis/Jon that goes beyond UST. Hopefully Stannis’ characterization here isn’t too out of character, and that you don’t think he should have just dismissed Jon and brooded about the kiss for ages on end. Stannis and Jon will naturally be brooding/having long internal monologues after that night for sure (because that’s who those characters are), but I at least can see Jon doing something rash (as he is wont to do) and Stannis throwing caution to the wind for once because, “Seven hells, the boy clearly initiated it!”