(no subject)
Gay Marriage is Wrong.
10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong
1. Homosexuality is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things
like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging
around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior.
People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and
can sign a marriage contract.
4. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at
all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce
is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if homosexual marriage were
allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would
be destroyed.
6. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Homosexual
couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry
because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only
raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the
values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have
only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home.
That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt
to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector
economy, or longer life spans.
10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong
1. Homosexuality is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things
like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging
around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior.
People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and
can sign a marriage contract.
4. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at
all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce
is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if homosexual marriage were
allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would
be destroyed.
6. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Homosexual
couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry
because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only
raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the
values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have
only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home.
That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt
to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector
economy, or longer life spans.