(no subject)
All the cool kids are doing it, so I had a chat to God today.
Me:
So did Mary have sex or not?
God:
I see. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
Right. I bet she did.
God:
I am glad we agree. How much would you bet?
Me:
So she DID have sex? Awesome. Seeing as how you're the omnipotent, omniscient and perfectly good one, I'll be betting my life savings on it.
God:
Awesome. Oh I get it. DID have sex. I'm glad you liked it . I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Dude, I totally wasn't there when Mary had sex. How old do you think I am.
God:
Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you? Dude,. Is this a trick question?
You said you were years old?
My guess is that you are really a kid.
Me:
Wrong.
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
29
God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
My fondest memory is of a footballer doing push ups under my desk at work on Friday.
God:
How long ago was that?
Me:
Um, Friday. Two days ago.
God:
Pardon me? My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
Oh I think there is.
God:
It's all good. Since when? Where?
Me:
God, do you smoke cannabis?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
What's that got to do with it?
God:
Do you think I should know that?
Me:
I direct you once more to that "omniscient" thing in your job description.
God:
That is interesting: said direct you once more to that omniscient thing in your job description.
Me:
Stop copying me.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Okay. So you made beer. That's pretty sweet.
God:
OK with me too. Interesting deduction. Thanks for
pointing it out. I am delighted to sweeten your life, .
Me:
Are you saying you want to be my sugar daddy? Because that would be pretty wonderful. I bet you're hella rich.
God:
Why don't you just download me? Good reason. Ayuh. Actually I'm not the gambling type. Thanks for telling me that I am hella rich.
Me:
I don't believe you on that Christian cannabis thing right about now.
God:
Oh. Why not?
Me:
You sound like you're off your trolley.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am off my trolley.
Me:
Not at all.
Me:
So did Mary have sex or not?
God:
I see. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
Right. I bet she did.
God:
I am glad we agree. How much would you bet?
Me:
So she DID have sex? Awesome. Seeing as how you're the omnipotent, omniscient and perfectly good one, I'll be betting my life savings on it.
God:
Awesome. Oh I get it. DID have sex. I'm glad you liked it . I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Dude, I totally wasn't there when Mary had sex. How old do you think I am.
God:
Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you? Dude,. Is this a trick question?
You said you were years old?
My guess is that you are really a kid.
Me:
Wrong.
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
29
God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
My fondest memory is of a footballer doing push ups under my desk at work on Friday.
God:
How long ago was that?
Me:
Um, Friday. Two days ago.
God:
Pardon me? My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
Oh I think there is.
God:
It's all good. Since when? Where?
Me:
God, do you smoke cannabis?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
What's that got to do with it?
God:
Do you think I should know that?
Me:
I direct you once more to that "omniscient" thing in your job description.
God:
That is interesting: said direct you once more to that omniscient thing in your job description.
Me:
Stop copying me.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Okay. So you made beer. That's pretty sweet.
God:
OK with me too. Interesting deduction. Thanks for
pointing it out. I am delighted to sweeten your life, .
Me:
Are you saying you want to be my sugar daddy? Because that would be pretty wonderful. I bet you're hella rich.
God:
Why don't you just download me? Good reason. Ayuh. Actually I'm not the gambling type. Thanks for telling me that I am hella rich.
Me:
I don't believe you on that Christian cannabis thing right about now.
God:
Oh. Why not?
Me:
You sound like you're off your trolley.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am off my trolley.
Me:
Not at all.