Now I have finally accepted. We will never stand in the same room
I can never hear your voice of reason
My Grandma, and my last living grandparent, died last night.
I'm still in shock that she's actually gone. Her mind was still so sharp. It's horrible to watch someone's body shut down like that. Last night I was so angry, I've lost so many people who I've been close to in the last year and half. But the anger wasn't about me. I was angry that God could let her give up like that. Up until about a month ago she didn't have any serious health problems. Last Thursday she went into the hospital, survived major back surgery, and was even admitted into a rehab floor. 24 hours later her blood pressure was just 54/42 and her pulse 36 and she was refusing all medical treatment.
When I got back from LA I went and visited her. This was in the middle of her declining health. I had the insight to go and see her and I guess I was in denial because now that I look back on it I had a feeling it might be the last time I would see her, eventhough I hoped she would make it through the holidays and to see her new great-grandchild.
I am grateful I have so many memories involving her. and I remember during our breaks from school - every 9 weeks - my brother and I would go and stay at her house for 4 or 5 days. She had all these old barbies from when my aunts were younger that we'd play with. And this old typewriter we got to play office with. She'd take us to the $1 movies, which she called "the show". Spending time up at the River, she had a cabin just down the road from us before the 1993 flood, those were the days. She was a part of the VFW and we would go to Christmas parties there. I have so many I could probably take up pages and pages here.
My Grandma, and my last living grandparent, died last night.
I'm still in shock that she's actually gone. Her mind was still so sharp. It's horrible to watch someone's body shut down like that. Last night I was so angry, I've lost so many people who I've been close to in the last year and half. But the anger wasn't about me. I was angry that God could let her give up like that. Up until about a month ago she didn't have any serious health problems. Last Thursday she went into the hospital, survived major back surgery, and was even admitted into a rehab floor. 24 hours later her blood pressure was just 54/42 and her pulse 36 and she was refusing all medical treatment.
When I got back from LA I went and visited her. This was in the middle of her declining health. I had the insight to go and see her and I guess I was in denial because now that I look back on it I had a feeling it might be the last time I would see her, eventhough I hoped she would make it through the holidays and to see her new great-grandchild.
I am grateful I have so many memories involving her. and I remember during our breaks from school - every 9 weeks - my brother and I would go and stay at her house for 4 or 5 days. She had all these old barbies from when my aunts were younger that we'd play with. And this old typewriter we got to play office with. She'd take us to the $1 movies, which she called "the show". Spending time up at the River, she had a cabin just down the road from us before the 1993 flood, those were the days. She was a part of the VFW and we would go to Christmas parties there. I have so many I could probably take up pages and pages here.